counterman Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 There is this girl I met recently. She's a friend of friends of mine. I am really attracted to her and interested. I've been spending a bit of time with her this week and I helped her with some studying. During these times, I thought we got along pretty well and I actually thought she was showing signs of interest. However, I soon realised that she is friendly to everybody when I saw her with her friends. Anyways, I was still curious. So, I kept talking to her and joked around a little. Had her laughing a bit and had her teasing me too. Then, she said something that set be back a couple of paces. She said I was weird. To this, I smiled and jokingly said "in a good way or in a bad way?". She replies with "you're weird in a weird way". I know what she means. It's not a bad thing as most of my friends thought I was weird when they first met me. I wasn't offended but I trod cautiously. Things weren't awkward and we had a good time. Now, I would have asked her out already, but that thing she said put me off a little. I'm at the stage where it's either I ask her out and see what happens, or just become friends. So, should I ask her out?
Rorschach Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 Ask her out, who needs more friends. From one weird guy to another better to go down in flames than fizzle out.
DustySaltus Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 Counterman, I think you're already in the friend zone. Someone has to be comfortable enough around you to make a statement like that regardless of whether it's true or not. I don't think you have anything to lose by asking her but I feel that it's highly unlikely that this will grow into somehting else. Now, if she would've said something like, "I can't figure you out" or "There's something about you..." it would be a different story.
Author counterman Posted April 22, 2010 Author Posted April 22, 2010 Ask her out, who needs more friends. From one weird guy to another better to go down in flames than fizzle out. Exactly. I have girl friends already. Another friend won't hurt but a girl I'm really interested in is hard to come by. Counterman, I think you're already in the friend zone. Someone has to be comfortable enough around you to make a statement like that regardless of whether it's true or not. I don't think you have anything to lose by asking her but I feel that it's highly unlikely that this will grow into somehting else. Now, if she would've said something like, "I can't figure you out" or "There's something about you..." it would be a different story. I think you may be right. I was worried about that. Thing is, today was the only time I really spoken to her. I'm trying to rationalise that I can't be her friend yet. That's the thing, she's really friendly with everyone, has lots of guy friends but not a boyfriend. I understand where you are coming from though, and I sure hope that's not the case. It might be two weeks until I see her again. I think I will ask her out and, if she doesn't want to go out, I'll shrug it off and move on. This tension is going to eat at me if I don't at least give it a shot.
DustySaltus Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 I think you may be right. I was worried about that. Thing is, today was the only time I really spoken to her. I'm trying to rationalise that I can't be her friend yet. That's the thing, she's really friendly with everyone, has lots of guy friends but not a boyfriend. I understand where you are coming from though, and I sure hope that's not the case. It might be two weeks until I see her again. I think I will ask her out and, if she doesn't want to go out, I'll shrug it off and move on. This tension is going to eat at me if I don't at least give it a shot. Good luck. Just keep in mind that most of those guy "friends" she has probably are waiting around for their shot at some point. Be careful, she might collect guy friends like baseball cards...
Author counterman Posted April 22, 2010 Author Posted April 22, 2010 Good luck. Just keep in mind that most of those guy "friends" she has probably are waiting around for their shot at some point. Be careful, she might collect guy friends like baseball cards... Good advice. I met some of them today as they were passing by us and some of them are douche bags, all flirty, teasing, lame jokes, like the ones that tried to emasculate me in front of my ex-girlfriend when I was still with her. I don't think it's worth it if she is that way. I'll be careful.
tkgirl Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 Counterman, I think you're already in the friend zone. Someone has to be comfortable enough around you to make a statement like that regardless of whether it's true or not. I don't think you have anything to lose by asking her but I feel that it's highly unlikely that this will grow into somehting else. Now, if she would've said something like, "I can't figure you out" or "There's something about you..." it would be a different story. yeah it's all in how she said it... was she smiling and flirty about it? because I could see myself saying that to a guy if I was interested... but then I like quirky "weird" guys! but if she was like "you're weird" and looking for an out, like someone else to talk to, then I'd say don't waste your time asking her out... she was too uptight anyways!
Author counterman Posted April 22, 2010 Author Posted April 22, 2010 yeah it's all in how she said it... was she smiling and flirty about it? because I could see myself saying that to a guy if I was interested... but then I like quirky "weird" guys! but if she was like "you're weird" and looking for an out, like someone else to talk to, then I'd say don't waste your time asking her out... she was too uptight anyways! Hmmm, I did note the way she said it and it wasn't either way. She wasn't looking for an out, as she did continue to ask me questions. She didn't say it flirty as well. I even suggested words for her when she said I was weird. I said "you mean different or unique?". She continued with the word weird. Maybe she was teasing? Because I teased her too. It started with her giggling with a lot of things I said, even though I didn't think I was saying anything funny. I am really not sure if she's interested in me or not. She responds the same as she does to every guy, which bothers me a bit. I think I will wait and see what happens on our next meeting and even then, she will have to show interest for me to go ahead. I would rather just ask her out and find out that way but there's still something holding me back. I'm leaning towards not asking her out.
tkgirl Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 Hmmm, I did note the way she said it and it wasn't either way. She wasn't looking for an out, as she did continue to ask me questions. She didn't say it flirty as well. I even suggested words for her when she said I was weird. I said "you mean different or unique?". She continued with the word weird. Maybe she was teasing? Because I teased her too. It started with her giggling with a lot of things I said, even though I didn't think I was saying anything funny. I am really not sure if she's interested in me or not. She responds the same as she does to every guy, which bothers me a bit. I think I will wait and see what happens on our next meeting and even then, she will have to show interest for me to go ahead. I would rather just ask her out and find out that way but there's still something holding me back. I'm leaning towards not asking her out. well if you had her laughing that's a very good start! girls like funny guys yeah, just see how she acts next time you're around her.. but if you decide that you do want to ask her out just do it.. don't overthink it.
Agent Thomas Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 Ask her out, who needs more friends. From one weird guy to another better to go down in flames than fizzle out. You never struck me as weird. But badass advice there
Author counterman Posted April 22, 2010 Author Posted April 22, 2010 well if you had her laughing that's a very good start! girls like funny guys yeah, just see how she acts next time you're around her.. but if you decide that you do want to ask her out just do it.. don't overthink it. I would say I'm more quirky than funny but she did laugh, though I think she would laugh at anything. Thanks for the advice. I do tend to overthink sometimes. I was poised to ask her out but that statement caught me off guard. Now that I think about it, I have called girls weird before usually with a smile because I really enjoyed their quirkiness. I guess asking her out, there is really nothing to lose. Next time I see her
Eeyore79 Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 You have already been friend-zoned. If you liked this girl, you should have gone straight in for the kill - you should have made it clear from the outset that you were interested in her in a non-platonic sense. Girls like strong confident men who know what they want and go for it, not nice guys who hang around saying nothing. The longer you stay in the friend zone, the harder it will be to get out of it. My advice is to avoid her for a while, let her forget about you a little... then come back as a whole new confident guy who clearly shows his attraction to her and goes for what he wants. Act flirtatiously, tease her a bit, joke around and build some rapport, then go in for the kill. Do NOT try to be her friend and hope it will turn into something more - it won't.
Eeyore79 Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 I guess asking her out, there is really nothing to lose. If you ask her out without first building attraction with her and making her see you as a desirable guy who she wants to be with, she will say no. When a friend-zoned guy asks a girl out, she always says no, and probably starts avoiding him afterwards.
Author counterman Posted April 22, 2010 Author Posted April 22, 2010 You have already been friend-zoned. If you liked this girl, you should have gone straight in for the kill - you should have made it clear from the outset that you were interested in her in a non-platonic sense. Girls like strong confident men who know what they want and go for it, not nice guys who hang around saying nothing. The longer you stay in the friend zone, the harder it will be to get out of it. My advice is to avoid her for a while, let her forget about you a little... then come back as a whole new confident guy who clearly shows his attraction to her and goes for what he wants. Act flirtatiously, tease her a bit, joke around and build some rapport, then go in for the kill. Do NOT try to be her friend and hope it will turn into something more - it won't. If you ask her out without first building attraction with her and making her see you as a desirable guy who she wants to be with, she will say no. When a friend-zoned guy asks a girl out, she always says no, and probably starts avoiding him afterwards. Best point ever. It's something I would never do. Though, I should also add that today we had a major exam and we were both studying and it was really the first time that I spoke to her and plus her friends and my friends were around. Wasn't the ideal situation to ask her out but I guess I could have. Looks like next time I see her won't be for another couple of weeks, so I'll come guns firing - flirting and teasing. If it's a no, oh well, doesn't matter. I'll learn from this.
tkgirl Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 Best point ever. It's something I would never do. Though, I should also add that today we had a major exam and we were both studying and it was really the first time that I spoke to her and plus her friends and my friends were around. Wasn't the ideal situation to ask her out but I guess I could have. Looks like next time I see her won't be for another couple of weeks, so I'll come guns firing - flirting and teasing. If it's a no, oh well, doesn't matter. I'll learn from this. that's the attitude! good luck!!
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