nigh2 Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 so what do you do when alls you have is you? everyone you know and who used to be friends no longer contacts you or calls? and ignores you when you try to contact them Its been at least a year since Ive had a friend, after typing that I cant believe it. What am I doing wrong? I feel that the person I am becoming is not me...its not who I want to be and its because most of the time Im by myself..I have no one to really share any interests with? its frustrating. I dont really have anyone to look up to for advice my dad passed away and my bro is thousands of miles away....I lost my best friend in a car accident a few years ago and he was like a brother....and my moms bf is a good guy, but really is everything I dont want to be...I wish I had someone around to keep me on the right track, I feel as though Ive screwed up to many times on my own, live and learn, but i cant keep going like this. Any thoughts? advice? negative or positive I dont mind.
tman666 Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 It sounds like you've suffered a lot of loss in your life, and for that you have my sincere sympathies. You have to remember though, that you are the one in the driver's seat. You make your own decisions, and you will reap the rewards (or consequences) of your decisions. You cannot expect there to always be someone to guide you in your life whether it be a mentor, parent, or friend. I'm not saying that you shouldn't reach out to people around you. Keep yourself open to new friends, relationships, and other such opportunities. However, I believe to successfully do this, you have to be fairly confident in yourself first, and be comfortable, and even content being by yourself. I personally think that a good diversion from the daily stresses is the gym. Lifting weights at the gym has always been a positive outlet for channeling frustration. Also, getting stronger, more muscular, and in better shape does a lot to boost one's confidence. Don't let your anger, sadness, and frustrations bottle up. Find an outlet for them. Go to the gym and learn as much as possible about the iron game. It will teach you a lot about yourself too. If you don't have access to a gym or any other public setting, exercising on your own may make you feel better too. Above all, don't just allow yourself to become bitter and angry all day. It becomes self destructive. Just remember that there are good times and bad times, but sometimes you have to make your own good time.
Green Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 The gym suggestion is great. I would take it a step further and join some kind of sports team. If you like basket ball find a local basket ball team you can play on. This way you will also make friends. Don't forget to persue your dreams in life. For instance if you want to be an artist make sure you are painting and getting ur art out there... if you want to be a scienctist make sure you are in school and progressing and trying to get the job u want... u get the point. Just try, don't be afraid of failure.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 Dance classes are a great way to meet people of both genders. Swing, salsa, line dancing, whatever. These people tend to meet up outside of class to practice, which is an opportunity to meet even more people. There are also art classes, book clubs, and church singles groups. If you're a runner then look for a pacers group, they also tend to have get-togethers outside of just the running. I don't think you should look to a friend to keep you on the straight and narrow. Most people want friends to add some type of value to their lives not be someone they have to babysit.
Green Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 Dance classes are a great way to meet people of both genders. Swing, salsa, line dancing, whatever. These people tend to meet up outside of class to practice, which is an opportunity to meet even more people. There are also art classes, book clubs, and church singles groups. If you're a runner then look for a pacers group, they also tend to have get-togethers outside of just the running. I don't think you should look to a friend to keep you on the straight and narrow. Most people want friends to add some type of value to their lives not be someone they have to babysit. I took that to mean they wish their father or brother was around to do that. The friend thing is about feeling alienated and lonely.
IfWishesWereHorses Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 I took that to mean they wish their father or brother was around to do that. The friend thing is about feeling alienated and lonely. I see. My apologies for misreading that OP.
skydiveaddict Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 go skydiving. best social networking on the planet
pureinheart Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 so what do you do when alls you have is you? everyone you know and who used to be friends no longer contacts you or calls? and ignores you when you try to contact them Its been at least a year since Ive had a friend, after typing that I cant believe it. What am I doing wrong? I feel that the person I am becoming is not me...its not who I want to be and its because most of the time Im by myself..I have no one to really share any interests with? its frustrating. I dont really have anyone to look up to for advice my dad passed away and my bro is thousands of miles away....I lost my best friend in a car accident a few years ago and he was like a brother....and my moms bf is a good guy, but really is everything I dont want to be...I wish I had someone around to keep me on the right track, I feel as though Ive screwed up to many times on my own, live and learn, but i cant keep going like this. Any thoughts? advice? negative or positive I dont mind. (((((((((((A GREAT BIG CYBER HUG)))))))))) I hear ya...I do have friends, although have been traumatized so much and might be just now coming out of it, there is a lot to catch up on, I let a lot go. I'm going to start getting involved in more things for singles after I get caught up and things cleaned up around my house. Hey I've started to exercise...I intend on loosing 20 years and 20 lbs...sounds good huh! I'm just trying to stay possitive, you know?
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