stace79 Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 I'm trying to reconcile with someone and many issues are coming up again, but I think they're issues I may have with someone new, too. What makes a good relationship? Am I just getting too picky the older I get? Am I being unrealistic? For example, is it unreasonable for a mate to insist you go to the doctor X times per year for preventive care? I have a family history of skin cancer, and he wants me to go twice a year for exams. He doesn't seem to care that I'm busy with work and it's hard to get in to a skin doctor here. Additionally my insurance is running out and I can't afford to pay full price to see the doctor. On the flip side, he met some women as "friends" off a dating site while we were apart. Is it wrong of me to insist he not have these friends anymore, because I feel they met under "dating" circumstances? At what point am I (or he) being too picky, or when is it a real sign that this just isn't meant to be?
ImThinkingWTF Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 Have you met these women? Are they aware he is in a relationship? If not, then I would ask to have a get together and meet them. If he says no then I'd be upset. But people are allowed to have friends so unless he doesn't want you to meet them or is secretive about his friendships I'd leave it alone.
EthanH Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 your question really confuses me. I'm not sure exactly how your examples are linked or related to the question?????!!>>>???? ... maybe you both need to chill out, you need to have your own choices to do what you want... sounds restrictive, and sounds like you spend too much time worrying.
Author stace79 Posted April 21, 2010 Author Posted April 21, 2010 your question really confuses me. I'm not sure exactly how your examples are linked or related to the question?????!!>>>???? ... maybe you both need to chill out, you need to have your own choices to do what you want... sounds restrictive, and sounds like you spend too much time worrying. I think that's sort of the point. I am just wanting to hang out with him and see if we can be happy and have fun together. He is trying to solve all our issues right up front. It DOES feel restrictive, and I guess I'm just trying to figure out what a "good" relationship looks like so I can figure out if this is something I want to continue pursuing or just give up.
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