Got high together, went badly

[yume]

I got high (marijuana) with my boyfriend for the first time last night and I'm pretty sure it was the scariest thing I've ever done.

 

It was funny at first and then it just got...weird...and too much....it was worse than being extremely drunk.

 

I had to just sit and stare, I couldn't do anything else, I couldn't lie down. I just wanted it to end...I kept asking how to make it stop..I won't attempt to describe the sensations I was feeling but I felt horrible emotionally...that I was bad and terrible and why did I do this to myself?

 

I don't know how high my boyfriend was but...he was under the covers in bed and I was sat up, staring, and he eventually started trying to get me under the covers. I couldn't fight him, but I thought I should stay sitting up...and then we were under the covers, I was fully clothed, and I though what if he tries to do stuff with me while I'm like this? And he started taking the bobby pins out of my hair, and I knew that it'll probably happen....and then he started putting his hands underneath my shirt to get to my bra, and it was like I woke up. I said "what are you doing?" and he didn't answer me... I jerked my head up with this gasp...and then was pushing him away from me so fast I almost fell out of bed....I couldn't let him touch me....I had sat up and froze again and was holding a hand out to keep him away from me...and he was like "are you okay? It's me....whats wrong?"

 

I basically didn't say a word to him the rest of the time while we were high. I sat like a statue. He ended up throwing up all over his bedroom floor.....then I threw up in the bathroom later on. My mind was just...........inexplainably messed, my heart was beating so fast and the stuff my body was feeling...I was freaked, to say the least. I think we smoked too much.

 

He ended up falling asleep and my high ended so I got my friend to pick me up...I had to wake him up so he could take me to the door and he tried to talk to me but I said I couldn't talk about it then. I left without saying bye.

 

I came home and was still shaky, fell asleep and woke up an hour or so ago. He's sent me messages on my phone telling me he was sorry and can't understand why I reacted so badly because he wanted to be intimate with me....and wants to know why....and wants to talk.

 

I said I still don't know what to talk about.

 

I'm just....I don't know. When I was high I was thinking because of this we can't stay together...it's definitely changed something inside of me...I don't know if I need to give it more time or whatever since I might still be freaked out but...should I talk to him? I don't know what to say....I felt so scared that he was going to take advantage of me, violate me, even though we've had sex....I wasn't in control...maybe I don't trust him now? It was just purely scary.

 

What should I do?

Edited April 21, 2010 by yume

[CarrieT]

What should I do?

 

You should learn from the lesson and not do it again.

 

Some of us are *very* sensitive to certain drugs and while I was very experimental at one point in my life, I learned that pot is the WORST for me; makes me physically ill and nauseous. I think I am actually allergic to it!

 

Despite any pressures your BF or peers might give you to get high again, I would recommend you stay clear of this particular drug.

[Template]

So you experiemented with pot, and physically and mentally you've had negative effects. I'm not going to lecture you on the use of drugs, as everyone has the freedom to make their own choices. What you have to ask yourself now is this: Did the drugs cause these feeling, of did it cause these true feelings to come out? I don't know, it's really up to you.

[yume]

Despite any pressures your BF or peers might give you to get high again, I would recommend you stay clear of this particular drug.

 

I have no plans to do it again Tried it, didn't like it. None of my friends smoke, so peer pressure is non-existent for me.

 

So you experiemented with pot, and physically and mentally you've had negative effects. I'm not going to lecture you on the use of drugs, as everyone has the freedom to make their own choices. What you have to ask yourself now is this: Did the drugs cause these feeling, of did it cause these true feelings to come out? I don't know, it's really up to you.

 

That's what I'm wondering. I don't know if we're going to be okay after this. I guess I can't really know until we talk about what happened, but I don't want to talk about it....I'm still just...scared

[skydiveaddict]

I got high on pot just once. Like you, I hated it. I would take a couple of days to decide what you want to do about your bf though.

[Template]

It is my fervent hope that you both talk about what happened, and that you are close enough that you both can express your feelings in an open manner so you can resolve what may be causing you concern. The fact of the matter is, you took a drug, and it altered your reality. I hope that this is a lesson that you'll learn from, and realize that all those propaganda in the media stating "drug are bad", did have some merit to them. Still though, maybe it's a lesson that you had to learn. However, the longer you let this go on without talking, the larger the white elephant in the room becomes. Just an opinion.

[2sunny]

when i was young and i smoked pot - i had the same reaction. i was frozen, couldn't even speak... just still. i couldn't move out of the chair. my mind was floating around in heaven watching my loved ones and their lives from "up there" it was a very bizarre out of body experience.

 

i hated it. that is not fun for me. it made me really foggy for days. i didn't trust even myself.

 

stay away from it. i never consider it all these years later. to me, it's no fun to be that incapacitated.

[allanworks]

I got high (marijuana) with my boyfriend for the first time last night and I'm pretty sure it was the scariest thing I've ever done.

 

It was funny at first and then it just got...weird...and too much....it was worse than being extremely drunk.

 

I had to just sit and stare, I couldn't do anything else, I couldn't lie down. I just wanted it to end...I kept asking how to make it stop..I won't attempt to describe the sensations I was feeling but I felt horrible emotionally...that I was bad and terrible and why did I do this to myself?

 

I don't know how high my boyfriend was but...he was under the covers in bed and I was sat up, staring, and he eventually started trying to get me under the covers. I couldn't fight him, but I thought I should stay sitting up...and then we were under the covers, I was fully clothed, and I though what if he tries to do stuff with me while I'm like this? And he started taking the bobby pins out of my hair, and I knew that it'll probably happen....and then he started putting his hands underneath my shirt to get to my bra, and it was like I woke up. I said "what are you doing?" and he didn't answer me... I jerked my head up with this gasp...and then was pushing him away from me so fast I almost fell out of bed....I couldn't let him touch me....I had sat up and froze again and was holding a hand out to keep him away from me...and he was like "are you okay? It's me....whats wrong?"

 

I basically didn't say a word to him the rest of the time while we were high. I sat like a statue. He ended up throwing up all over his bedroom floor.....then I threw up in the bathroom later on. My mind was just...........inexplainably messed, my heart was beating so fast and the stuff my body was feeling...I was freaked, to say the least. I think we smoked too much.

 

He ended up falling asleep and my high ended so I got my friend to pick me up...I had to wake him up so he could take me to the door and he tried to talk to me but I said I couldn't talk about it then. I left without saying bye.

 

I came home and was still shaky, fell asleep and woke up an hour or so ago. He's sent me messages on my phone telling me he was sorry and can't understand why I reacted so badly because he wanted to be intimate with me....and wants to know why....and wants to talk.

 

I said I still don't know what to talk about.

 

I'm just....I don't know. When I was high I was thinking because of this we can't stay together...it's definitely changed something inside of me...I don't know if I need to give it more time or whatever since I might still be freaked out but...should I talk to him? I don't know what to say....I felt so scared that he was going to take advantage of me, violate me, even though we've had sex....I wasn't in control...maybe I don't trust him now? It was just purely scary.

 

What should I do?

first is this the first time or first time with him.second your heart beating hard,throwing up and feeling wierd means your **** was laised probebly with meth or cocaine more than likelly cocaine.itll feel like a normal high then all the other **** mentioned will happen.believe me i used to be a user and a dealer.clean 7 years now tg.what i would do is tell him that his **** was laiced and to be carefull.third take a break from him about 2 weeks and if you go near him and feal sick its over with you two.bad trips with loved ones can cause you to link the bad trip with the loved one.

[yume]

first is this the first time or first time with him.

 

my first time ever.

 

second your heart beating hard,throwing up and feeling wierd means your **** was laised probebly with meth or cocaine more than likelly cocaine.itll feel like a normal high then all the other **** mentioned will happen.believe me i used to be a user and a dealer.clean 7 years now tg.what i would do is tell him that his **** was laiced and to be carefull.third take a break from him about 2 weeks and if you go near him and feal sick its over with you two.bad trips with loved ones can cause you to link the bad trip with the loved one.

 

You're sure about it being laced?

[allanworks]

my first time ever.

 

 

 

You're sure about it being laced?

99% shure.se when they package the drugs they package them together" cocaine and weed"what happens is sometimes a bag will get tore and itll get mixed together.or in my case i used to lace the **** for friends.i got a question did it tast or smell rubbery oily or like medacine theres other lacing drugs so if you can tell me what it smelled like or tasted like i can tell you but i think its cocaine as thats about 70 % the average

[yume]

99% shure.se when they package the drugs they package them together" cocaine and weed"what happens is sometimes a bag will get tore and itll get mixed together.or in my case i used to lace the **** for friends.i got a question did it tast or smell rubbery oily or like medacine theres other lacing drugs so if you can tell me what it smelled like or tasted like i can tell you but i think its cocaine as thats about 70 % the average

 

I can't really say about it tasting different as I've never done it before...bf says it tasted normal to him, but smelled more "potent" than other weed...whatever that means....he says he asked the guy he got it from if it was laced and the guy said that it was just "real good stuff"

 

I guess I could say it had a bit of a mediciney aftertaste...but again I'm not really sure.

[bluz73]

wow this brought back memorys and i had to reply.

A few years ago my ex bf was into pills and we were drinkin and he said take these 2 xanax they will be amazing and like a cool dumb girl i did. (first time ever using any drug besides dr. prescribed) Next thing i know we are making out and he was on top of me and we were having sex but i couldnt move I was numb and limp...after I cried and felt so violated although we have been having sex for over a year, it felt really wrong and dirty. Next thing i know i got up and said i am leaving and he helped me to the car and i sat there and didnt know how to drive it, so he drove me to my place and i woke up feeling so used even though he was my bf.

I know he didnt mean it it was the drug but i NEVER used any pills after that...i get by to this day by advice from this forum.

[yume]

wow this brought back memorys and i had to reply.

 

That is what I was scared of happening to me, like you said, even though he's your boyfriend...and it would have been the drug....thanks for being brave enough to share your story...

[allanworks]

"

 

I guess I could say it had a bit of a mediciney aftertaste...but again I'm not really sure.

 

it was cocaine due to the mediciney tast it happens as i said during packaging or doing it himself "the dealer".i suspect packaging tho otherwise he would charge more per quarter oz. i would taist your weed before smoking itll tell you allot about it. acidic=meth slight numbing of the tung=cocaine bitter=heroine.

[norajane]

I'm going to agree with those who have said the pot was probably laced with something. At the same time, pot does sometimes have a paranoia effect, where you feel paranoid for no real reason and wouldn't feel paranoid if you weren't high.

 

So, based on what you've written here, your bf did not know you were freaking out when he started touching you, and he stopped when you did freak out. The questions he was asking showed that he was confused about your reaction, and was concerned about how you were feeling. To me, it does not sound like he was pushing himself on you - he had no idea you were uncomfortable until you freaked out, and at that point, he became concerned, not pushy for sex.

 

So, I think you're probably "safe" with him, but are feeling the ill effects of your reaction and that's made you scared and confused about him. I don't think it should. He wasn't trying to take advantage of you - he had no idea what you were going through. He did stop when he understood that you were freaking out.

[sally4sara]

Pot is actually prescribed to cancer patients to alleviate nausea.

 

It sounds like it was laced with K - bad stuff that causes catatonic states and often vomiting.

[shadowplay]

All this lacing talk makes me wonder if the pot I had was laced with something when I had this terrible trip with my ex a few months ago. I've done pot a bunch of times, and never experienced anything like this. I was more afraid than I've ever been in my life and felt like my brain and body were completely disconnected, and I couldn't hold onto time or reality. I really thought I was going to die.

[allanworks]

All this lacing talk makes me wonder if the pot I had was laced with something when I had this terrible trip with my ex a few months ago. I've done pot a bunch of times, and never experienced anything like this. I was more afraid than I've ever been in my life and felt like my brain and body were completely disconnected, and I couldn't hold onto time or reality. I really thought I was going to die.

sounds like a classic sign of lsd laced **** thats the kind i liked the out of body experience.

[allanworks]

i am the drug guru ive done it all.even tho im 7 years clean i know all about drugs due to my experience.

[yume]

I'm going to agree with those who have said the pot was probably laced with something. At the same time, pot does sometimes have a paranoia effect, where you feel paranoid for no real reason and wouldn't feel paranoid if you weren't high.

 

So, based on what you've written here, your bf did not know you were freaking out when he started touching you, and he stopped when you did freak out. The questions he was asking showed that he was confused about your reaction, and was concerned about how you were feeling. To me, it does not sound like he was pushing himself on you - he had no idea you were uncomfortable until you freaked out, and at that point, he became concerned, not pushy for sex.

 

So, I think you're probably "safe" with him, but are feeling the ill effects of your reaction and that's made you scared and confused about him. I don't think it should. He wasn't trying to take advantage of you - he had no idea what you were going through. He did stop when he understood that you were freaking out.

 

Part of me feels like he should have known not to touch me when I was in the state that I was in...wasn't my behaviour (sitting, staring, not moving) a clue as to how I was feeling? Why would you try to be intimate with someone when they're on a major trip? He didn't try to kiss me or anything to signify a "prelude" where I could have said no without reacting badly. I know that he was high too but still....he's done it a lot more than I have...

 

I feel like it's changed something. I don't know if we're going to be ok after this.

 

I was more afraid than I've ever been in my life and felt like my brain and body were completely disconnected

The fear I experienced is whats bothering me most. And it sucks because I have no other experience to compare it to..I don't know what is "normal"

 

i suspect packaging tho otherwise he would charge more per quarter oz.

The guy gave it to him for free....they're "friends" and work together, so does that signify anything?

[allanworks]

The guy gave it to him for free....they're "friends" and work together, so does that signify anything?

never accept free weed unless the dealer is smoking it with you.could be he got a bad bag and was trying to get rid of it or trying out a new batch of laced **** to see if people liked it.nobody complains about free **** but they will telll you not to bring the same **** from last time if there buying.

[yume]

never accept free weed unless the dealer is smoking it with you.could be he got a bad bag and was trying to get rid of it or trying out a new batch of laced **** to see if people liked it.nobody complains about free **** but they will telll you not to bring the same **** from last time if there buying.

 

I see...thanks for being the expert

 

My question now is...is it ok for me to not be ready to talk about it yet? Moodwise I'm okay (as of right now) but other than that...I just don't want to do it right now. I need sometime to think I guess...and get over feeling vulnerable/scared...

 

sigh

[SouthernSunshine]

So funny, this thread reminds me of the first time I smoked grass. I was 12, and I was at a party drinking beer, and trying to be cool. They passed one around, and I hit it. I didn't think anything of it cuz I was "too cool"... LOL! Next thing I know the table was flipping, and I couldn't stop laughing! I fell into the guy's lap that was sitting beside me. I couldn't stop laughing, and I thought I was drunk. Next thing I know I was in the bathroom talking to myself in the mirror. That must have been some pretty good bud. I'm so very thankful I didn't get raped though! One of the guys at the party kept asking me to come to his room, and even though I was trippin, I knew that was a gray area, so I told him no. He was begging me.. and I wanted to just to shut him up, but I didn't want to be in his room away from my friends.

 

Not to encourage drug use, although Marijuana is not like meth or any man made drug. You get used to it the more you smoke it, and don't trip near as bad as the first time. It makes you slow though, and makes you stink. It's nasty like cigarettes! I'm sorry it scared you.

[norajane]

Part of me feels like he should have known not to touch me when I was in the state that I was in...wasn't my behaviour (sitting, staring, not moving) a clue as to how I was feeling? Why would you try to be intimate with someone when they're on a major trip? He didn't try to kiss me or anything to signify a "prelude" where I could have said no without reacting badly. I know that he was high too but still....he's done it a lot more than I have...

 

He was high, too. And if he smoked the same stuff that you did...which he did...and then threw up...there was something wrong with the stuff you smoked. And he was in no condition to be mentally alert and sensitive to you when his head was messed up, too. He wasn't thinking any more clearly than you were.

 

This was not his normal high. He threw up. I'll bet he's never done that while smoking pot before.

The fear I experienced is whats bothering me most. And it sucks because I have no other experience to compare it to..I don't know what is "normal"

 

The fear was caused by the pot and whatever it was laced with. You were not in control of your body or your mind, and that is scary. This level of fear is not really "normal" from pot (and I say this after living in pot central for many years), but it was either laced with something or you had a unique reaction. Alcohol can be like that - some people are happy drunks and some are mean drunks and some get very, very sick. You got very, very sick.

 

But I would gently suggest that you separate your reaction to the pot from your bf's actions. You have trusted him until now, presumably enough to have sex with him in the past and to decide to get high with him. He didn't push you once he understood through his own fog that you were upset.

 

It's ok to not want to talk about it right now. You're clearly still freaked out. But you should eventually talk about it and tell your bf exactly what you felt at the time, and how much it freaked you out. His reaction will tell you everything you need to know about him - either he'll be worried and concerned for you, or he won't. I think he'll be very concerned, and is probably very worried about you right now.

[allanworks]

I see...thanks for being the expert

 

My question now is...is it ok for me to not be ready to talk about it yet? Moodwise I'm okay (as of right now) but other than that...I just don't want to do it right now. I need sometime to think I guess...and get over feeling vulnerable/scared...

 

sigh

yea take some time