espec10001 Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 I know everyone has a Facebook and everyone keeps telling me I should get one. But there are a few reasons why I am wary of getting one. The biggest reason why I don't want one is that I don't want to see pictures of ex-girlfriends or putting myself at risk for contacting them/them contacting me again. I really want to leave those things and people in the past. I also am wary of getting one because my coworkers AND boss have one and if I get one they are going to try to add me and I just don't want to mix work with pleasure. I know you can control what is on the page but what if my friends start posting pictures and things that I don't wish to share with my boss or coworker? But, I feel like I am having a much more difficult time because so many people have it and it seems to be the way people connect these days. I'm 27 BTW. Is Facebook a must-have for dating these days?
VertexSquared Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 It's nice to have FB just because it's good to stay connected to all your friends and see what's going on in their lives and vice-versa, but in terms of dating, it has little value.
123BeachFan Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 I have my friends, family, and coworkers on my Facebook. I intentionally keep any of my super personal stuff off of there (most notably, any details of who I am dating, etc). I don't "friend" someone just because I'm dating them, and I don't keep a Relationship Status up to date on my FB page. Yes, you can edit or limit what appears on your Facebook page. If someone posts inappropriately on your Wall, you can delete (and delete them, too, as a friend if they can't behave). And no, Facebook isn't necessary for dating at all. What can happen (and did in the last dating relationship I was in), is that if you friend them, then you can easily get sucked into their Facebook drama. With my ex BF, it was his ex GF who would post inappropriately on his FB page (she was still his friend), and it would really upset me. In the end, we broke up because of her (he wasn't over her after all), but I could have done without all that drama! So, new rule after that fiasco was over and done with, no friending someone just because we're seeing each other...
phineas Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 I've been slammed with friend requests from people I went to highschool with because my reunion is this yr. I am surprised by the number of un-married 38 yr old women without kids from my class. Now I won't use facebook to try & date them at all. That just strikes me as being creepy. However some see me online & initiate chat with me & give me their numbers. Something I would never do as a guy because again, it seems creepy to me. women however can get away with it.
xRJ85x Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 Just don't accept friend requests from people you don't wanna deal with.
jthorne Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 Is Facebook a must-have for dating these days?NO. Neither my SO nor do I "do" Facebook. Good heavens. How did people date before cell phones, much less Facebook? Hmm... perhaps they actually SPOKE to one another face-to-face...
jthorne Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 but in terms of dating, it has little value.It seems that in terms of dating, Facebook's only value is in keeping tabs on your ex once you've broken up.
123BeachFan Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 It seems that in terms of dating, Facebook's only value is in keeping tabs on your ex once you've broken up. Haha, no kidding. My exH send me a friend request last week. Um, we are on guarded civil-speaking terms, I don't think I want him on my FB page!
lookin2wardthefuture Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 Just ignore anyone you don't want to friend, and delete anyone that's getting on you nerves. Chances are they won't notice anyway, because so many people are into friend collecting, they have waaay too mant to keep up with.
BlueHarvest Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 Now I won't use facebook to try & date them at all. That just strikes me as being creepy. However some see me online & initiate chat with me & give me their numbers. Something I would never do as a guy because again, it seems creepy to me. women however can get away with it. I love double standards, don't you? A guy does this and he's considered a 'stalker' or what not. But a girl does this and it's considered 'ok'. God I sometimes loathe being a human in this day and age.
Eclypse Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 I am just curious as to why you wouldn't want to show that you were in a relationship / who you were dating on facebook. If you love someone why would you want to hide them from your friends? I have about 500 friends on facebook, and it's all mostly people I know from high school or from university or work. But I guess I'm still in my teens, and for this generation facebook is pretty important for keeping in contact / uploading photos etc. I'm friends with someone people on facebook who I've only met a few times and likely never will again. It helps you connect with people, I've made some wonderful friends that way. I've had people I've met at parties add me and start talking and you become friends. Of course not everyone wants to be friendly but it's rewarding when you make new friends. That's the sort of culture there is at the moment for young people, even if you only know them vaguely a friend request is acceptable. As for the whole facebook drama stuff, personally I think if your relationship is going down the crapper because of that, it was doomed already with or without facebook.
melodymatters Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 I don't see what FB has to do with dating at all ?!? I have never been asked out via FB nor have I asked anyone out or even remotely flirted. It's mostly old friends and we all live all over the country. Also, you don't have to post. I like to read my friends posts, see their pics and hear what's gong on in their lives, but A) I'm a lot more private and B) I'm simply not that interesting:cool: You can start a page, put up just one pic, as little info as you like, and just read what the boring narcicissts have to say about THEIR lives !
Ruby Slippers Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 No. I caved to pressure from friends and got a stupid myspace account, which I never use, but I will not cave on Facebook. I did set up an account to tinker with it just because some of my clients are now paying me to manage their social media accounts and I needed to become agile in those media, but I won't use it in my personal life. For that, I consider it a waste of time for me.
Mutant Debutante Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 Facebook is a lot trickier with work situations than people think. If that's your concern, I know a lot of people who have two fb accounts, one that's professional (and maybe family) and one that's social. You don't need to have one at all. I do, but I dont' use it at all, I'm just a lurker.
EasyHeart Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 FB is the worst thing that ever happened to dating. After encountering FB drama with last two women I've dated, I now absolutely refuse to "friend" anyone I am dating or might potentially date. Now, FB is only for people I have known at least five years and trust completely. Otherwise, don't ask to be my "friend".
stace79 Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 All I can say is that I would never NOT date a guy just b/c he doesn't go on FB. In some ways it is probably easier -- you don't have to argue over "why don't you say you're in a relationship with me on fb" or "who is that girl you added" or "why is she commenting on all your posts". I'd say if you don't want to go on it, then don't do it just b/c you think you have to to get dates.
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