puddles Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 This may be long so i'll apologise in advance. Just under a year ago, my boyfriend of 4 years broke up with me. We'd been rocky for sometime but we truly did love each other. When we got together he was military. As he was leaving, a friend died on a tour of duty and it changed everything. He stopped trusting me. I couldn't do anything right, looking back, he was frickin awful to me. He acknowledges this and continuously says he's sorry for treating me this way. He rejoined the military last year. Chose a particular section to ensure he got a tour of duty in Afghan as soon as possible. We split up sometime after. He's since admitted to me that he considered cheating because he was convinced i was going to do it to him, begged me to stay in contact with him and stay friends. I've struggled for a long long time now to get a grip and move on. He left for Afghan about two weeks ago. The day before he left, he rang me. He sounded nervous to be speaking to me and kept getting his words muddled up. We finalised issues such as would i be attending the funeral if the worst happens. He usually texts me everyday. Then he drops the bomb. He's "sorta kinda started seeing someone else". I went numb all over. He went on to say that he did it just to have something normal in his life and that she would be at his funeral also. He then goes on to ask if i'd even consider trying again with him, and that everytime he thinks about starting again, he worries that he will just lose it again and start treating me horribly. He said that he would of done things differently and i agreed that i would. I told him i can no longer be friends with him as he had clearly moved on and i hadn't at all. He asked if i was seeing someone, i haven't. I don't feel ready too extend myself again to someone. the conversation moved on to other things but before we said goodbye, he asked me again if i'd really not seen someone in that way. I reitterated my original reply. He still wants to stay in contact but after hearing he has moved on, i know in my heart that i can't talk to him anymore, if he comes back from Afghan, i know he will come to see me. My question is, WTF is he playing at? I'm hurt, confused and angry. I actually feel betrayed by this eventhough i know i have no right too. He also told me that being with her feels like he's cheating or doing something wrong. I don't know what to think. I'm completely devastated and i have nowhere to turn with this. I wish i didn't love him.
Author puddles Posted April 21, 2010 Author Posted April 21, 2010 I just want some words of sympathy i guess. This is hard. I'd be really grateful for any replies.
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