teanoranges Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 So I hop-skipped-and-shaken-up my life a little. Took a random month to settle in a different city and find a job.. sadly, its HIS city and I just didn't know anywhere else.. its so huge, I'll never see him don't worry. But I had to have gone 2-3 months without a real thought of him. Just that passing stuff... now all of a sudden, I'm getting nervous about hearing about him or someone telling him about me... I'm nervous I'll accidently overhear something that will hurt.. I just don't want that in my life because the only result is pain. I'm so freaking terrified, I'm ready to call this relocation a vacation instead and move back home.... Its really not bad until I see a mutual friend, which makes me realize why me and HIM aren't friends.... maybe I've just changed a lot.. or quit putting up with bull****. -_- advice?
onewillburn Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 So I hop-skipped-and-shaken-up my life a little. Took a random month to settle in a different city and find a job.. sadly, its HIS city and I just didn't know anywhere else.. its so huge, I'll never see him don't worry. But I had to have gone 2-3 months without a real thought of him. Just that passing stuff... now all of a sudden, I'm getting nervous about hearing about him or someone telling him about me... I'm nervous I'll accidently overhear something that will hurt.. I just don't want that in my life because the only result is pain. I'm so freaking terrified, I'm ready to call this relocation a vacation instead and move back home.... Its really not bad until I see a mutual friend, which makes me realize why me and HIM aren't friends.... maybe I've just changed a lot.. or quit putting up with bull****. -_- advice? I go through similar feelings since my ex and I are involved in the same music scene. I haven't run into her yet, but I did used to feel kind of weird about it. But what happened is that I have made the scene my own. I have made a lot of friends in the scene and am becoming fairly well known to the regulars. I no longer feel like an outsider coming in on something she is a part of. I feel comfortable. Maybe it will help you to get out and hit some of the locations in the city more often. Mark your territory in a way. Have a "spot" that you go to regularly. Learn the ins and outs of the club scene (if that's your thing) and establish yourself with some locals. The more comfortable you are in your environment, the better you will be able to deal with things involving your ex. And going out and meeting people obviously increases your chances of meeting new guys, dates, etc.
Author teanoranges Posted April 22, 2010 Author Posted April 22, 2010 You are definitely right! I'm just always nervous doing things alone. I also need a job... haha.. I am beginning to convince myself that he doesn't matter and I shouldn't compare my life to his.. its just different.. so what if he's doing real good and is extremely happy while I'm seeking work and have no friends in this new place? Time helps. time will decide.
Author teanoranges Posted April 23, 2010 Author Posted April 23, 2010 Got myself a job.. quick right? for the economy and everything.. then again, its not like big bucks or anything.... anywho... seeing this mutual friend keeps giving me 'hints' or 'signs' that my ex is still infatuated and in love with this other woman... oh well. I guess I'm just a little sad that he doesn't miss me... and a little sad that I don't have anyone, I'm pretty much on my own here except for that one friend... which will change hopefully at my new job.. Anyways, I don't know.. this whole concept of losing someone you love is so sad but so true and I never imagined I'd experience it like this. I knew it would happen, no one is really ever with their first love forever... I just really did love him and I wish him the best.. I just wish he was still in my life. but life is going good so I'll take what I have and hope things keep improving.... Tough tough tough...
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