usagi Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 someone who you find attractive, intelligent, funny, socially / economically and physically compatible? If so why? Was it because you were unhappy with yourself, the timing was wrong, you were trying to focus on your career or any other reason?
EthanH Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 My ex told me last week that I tick 99% of the boxes for me. She just didn't like how serious the relationship became at the end and she realised she wasn't ready. As for me, I think most of the time, if all of the things you listed are there, you go with it, it is only when one of those things fall down, you start to think about those in the second list. I think it sounds like you are trying to think of a reason why someone split with you, and hoping that it was more her personal reasons than something to do with you? no?
stu1973 Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 My ex who dumped me almost 2 months ago told me we ticked ALL the right boxes, we just didn't make it work. Go figure.
EthanH Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 stu maybe it was your lack of subtlety she didn't like?
Sivok Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 No I haven't. Then again, I've never been in a situation where I was dating somebody that fit all the criteria I was looking for. Then again, my best friend is a woman who fits exactly this criteria and we're both single right now. However, although I find her attractive, I'm just not attracted to her... If that makes sense. She's like a sister Cant control chemistry and the laws of attraction.
Eeyore79 Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 When I have broken up with someone, it was usually because something was missing. Maybe he was intelligent, funny, educated, but I wasn't physically attracted to him. Or maybe he was hot but he wasn't particularly bright. One time I broke up with a guy who was absolutely perfect in all respects - smart, hot, sexy, rich, charismatic - because I couldn't deal with his baggage. More specifically: he was perfect but his kid and ex-gf annoyed me. My ex said I was perfect, but he simply couldn't be bothered having an LDR when there were probably equally great girls in his home town. He said if I lived in his town he would definitely be pursuing me, but he needed more of a day-to-day relationship, not a meetup once every couple of months with complicated prospects for the future.
Author usagi Posted April 22, 2010 Author Posted April 22, 2010 My ex told me last week that I tick 99% of the boxes for me. She just didn't like how serious the relationship became at the end and she realised she wasn't ready. As for me, I think most of the time, if all of the things you listed are there, you go with it, it is only when one of those things fall down, you start to think about those in the second list. I think it sounds like you are trying to think of a reason why someone split with you, and hoping that it was more her personal reasons than something to do with you? no? I have recently split with someone but am actually fine with it; I'm quite a confident person and have been through worse before. The reason I ask is because my ex fiance from 7 years ago has 'come out' with the fact that she has been waiting for me to be single so she can get back with me. I'm not interested in more than a friendship but I am perplexed by her reasoning for breaking it off years ago.
lucyskye Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 I spent over 4 years with the absolute love of my life. We sparked, we clicked, we laughed and we cried. He was the most wonderful, stable and adoring man I have have ever known...and I left him. Why? For many reasons which include the fact that I was an absolute mess and I couldn't bear the thought of turning his love for me into something ugly and hateful. He deserved better and I didn't deserve anyone that good. Our relationship ended in 1994 and I still love him very much. He's moved on and is married with a young family and I'm still working through my **** (having gotten lost via some truly crappy boyfriends). It's always nice (?) to think that someday our paths will cross again when we are free to be together...but that's not realistic.
2sure Posted May 26, 2010 Posted May 26, 2010 someone who you find attractive, intelligent, funny, socially / economically and physically compatible? If so why? Was it because you were unhappy with yourself, the timing was wrong, you were trying to focus on your career or any other reason? Sure, of course, who hasnt?? I would never date someone who was NOT "attractive, intelligent, funny, socially / economically and physically compatible?" We dont marry everyone we date...so obviously we have to break up with 99% of them...its generally because it just isnt there. The chemistry that most people want in addition to their other set of criteria.
Recommended Posts