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Met a guy online... not sure where it's going. :\


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Posted

Ok, ladies and gents, I need some advice.

 

I'm 21, female, and new to the dating world. Prior to a month ago, I'd never been on a date or had any sort of romantic experience with a guy.

 

Anyway, I met a guy on OKCupid. I initiated contact and we spoke through their messaging system almost daily for nearly two weeks. Our first meeting lasted about 5 hours, just talking and browsing at a book store and a quick bite to eat. Second date was a movie at an arthouse theater (we're film students :p). Third "date" was an on-the-whim meet up for food at the mall and a walk around. And we're making plans for this weekend. All of these little dates were within a 2 1/2 week time frame.

 

We've been having good conversations. We have a lot of eye contact, but there hasn't been much physical contact outside of hugging when we first see each other and after he walks me to my car or if I touch his arm. I'm wondering if the lack of initiation on his part is me... I told him I was a complete newbie at this and he was fine with that, but I think it might be making him extra cautious. And he's already a really calm/slightly aloof guy to start with, so he can be a bit hard to read. Oh, and also, I seem to be initiating most of the contact, but once I initiate, he's gung ho in the conversation.

 

I guess my question is: How do I determine where this is going? It's kinda tricky because we both have on our profiles that we're open to platonic relationships, and although we flirt quite a bit (verbally), we never discussed whether we were pursuing a romantic relationship with one another. Do I just ask (is that really weird? lol)? Do I try to initiate more physical contact and gauge his reaction? :o Help! And thanks for any help in advance.

Posted

Well, are you attracted to him? If you are and the both of you are shy, I suggest you make the first moves.

 

Not that you're in a rush, at the pace that you're both going I think it's perfectly normal especially since you're a newbie.

 

If anything, progress with a goodbye kiss on the 4th date.

 

Personally, I would have the " talk" by the 5th date or so or when I actually see potential dating someone long term.

Posted

Try initiating contact. Sounds like he is interested but a newbie.

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