Possibly carrying the child of a boy that I'm completely crushed over.

[fame_infamy]

So, about a year ago I met this real sweet kid. Before I get into the story, I feel like I should tell you a little bit about who he was when I first met him. And maybe a little bit about me because both of those things play key factors in what I'm about to tell you. I am eighteen years old as of about a week ago. He is eighteen years old as of January so, I am a few months younger than him. When I first met him, we were Juniors in high school. I've always been big into school, did debate in high school, was very concerned with constantly having a job so that I could have money, a very responsible person. I had goals to go to college and become a psychologist. When I met him, he was the nerdiest kid but, so cute. Wore those dorky little wire rimmed glasses and polos. Haha. He was in debate as well, which is how I met him. He wanted to go to Columbia and become a doctor. He NEVER missed his Anatomy and Physiology class. When I first met him, he was single but, crushing on a girl who was a year younger than us. This was the type of boy you took home to your parents, trust me. This kid and I got to talking because I knew him from school. Then we ended up in the musical together and next thing I know, he's coming to me about very personal things in his life because he says he trusts me for some reason. We instantly became best friends, talked about everything, did everything together, spent hours at a time on the phone. There were times when he came to my house randomly and made me run errands with him because he just wanted to see me. But, like I said, he was madly in love with this girl and neither of us thought anything like that about the other. This girl became really jealous of me for some reason and started suspecting her boyfriend (my best friend) of liking me. We both laughed at her, a lot...the thought of that was absolutely ridiculous. Lol. Well, the more she pushed the fact that I liked him, the more I started to think about him like that but, of course I wouldn't ever do anything about it. I should also probably mention that she took his virginity. One day, she cornered me in school and made me promise her that if I did end up liking him one day, I would tell her. I promised because I never forsaw that happening. Until one day, it did. He called me and my heart started skipping beats and I just thought "Oh, ****...I do like him." Since I've always been a girl of my word, I knew I would have to tell her. But, I also knew that it would be awkward for me and him if she tells him that I liked him and he doesn't know about it. So, I of course told him first. I called him up one night and he said exactly this "Well, hun, the fact is...I just don't like you like that." I started freaking out, being all upset because I thought I had ruined our friendship over the whole ordeal. He replied back with "It's only awkward if you make it awkward." And then proceeded to call me the next morning like nothing ever happened. Well, this was probably in about October. During Thanksgiving break, he ends up staying the night at my house. Now, we didn't do anything but, there was a lot of flirting going on and sometime after Thanksgiving break he started telling me all these problems he was having with his current girlfriend. Well, they end up breaking up and he was absolutely heartbroken. Eventually though, something happened between the two of us. We were sitting there one night and I finally got the guts to kiss him...and he kissed back. This kid as bright and intelligent and thoughtful as he was had a lot of home problems and after we were already kind of together, he ended up moving into my house with me. So, we saw each other every single day for basically a year. After a couple months of living at my house, my parents wanted to kick him out because he was always at work or somewhere else and wasn't really helping out with chores. By this point, we were together, he had taken my virginity and there was no turning back. My mom and I got into a big fight about it, she hit me, and the both of us immediately moved out. We ended up living in the car together (his car) for a month and half. Out on the streets, with no place to go, living off peanut butter and jelly sandwhiches. Well, my parents and I had finally got back on speaking terms and they invited my ex boyfriend and I over for a family dinner. My grandma was teaching us how to make pie and we even got into a flour fight, went for a drive, spent time together, hadn't fought all day, we were happy. Completely, blissfully, wonderfully happy. Next thing I know, he tells me he needs time to think and is going out with his friend Damien. I didn't mind because I'm just not that type of girlfriend. Well, the next day, he tells me that he can't be with me anymore because he no longer has romantic feelings for me. And then immediately starts dating some other girl. One who KNEW that I was in love with him so, trust me, I wasn't too happy with her. Anyway, after we broke up, we started getting into major fights and just...stopped being friends completely. The weird thing is though, the more we decide that we're not friends, the more we end up spending time together. About four weeks ago, him and this new girl broke up and we ended up having sex. Well, now I think I might be carrying his child and he's told me to get rid of it...I'm not really sure what I should do about any of this. Everyone is telling me to move on but, it's so difficult...I still keep picturing him walking through the door in his work uniform telling me that everything is alright and that he loves me. And if anyone was wondering what happened to the girl he was in love with at the beginning, she's now dating someone much better for her, is actually my current best friend, and if I have his child...she will be the godmother of it. Help? Comments? Advice? Please...