hellopeople Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 (edited) When my ex broke up with me, I went right into NC (pretty much within the hour of him breaking up with me). However, during the course of the breakup, I begged and pleaded with him not to do it. I told him I would fight for it, that I would help him though whatever was hurting him. But he declined. I was CRUSHED. But I decided I wasn’t going to beg or crawl back. I was not going to plead with him since he had made his decision. He wanted a breakup; he was going to get one. So I did NC: Didn’t answer texts; acted indifferent if I saw him; switched out of a class we had signed up for; bocked and deleted him on fb, etc. All the while, I was still dying inside. I pretty much wrote him out of my life. Completely. It’s been 3 months. About a month later I learnt he was busy pursuing some other girl and a few weeks after, they were an item (goodbye self-esteem). So, my question is, did me being in total NC cause him to not even try to reconcile with me and forget me? And when I say reconciliation I don’t mean explicitly in a bf/gf way. I mean, this dude has not even contacted me to apologize for what he did nor has he tried to explain himself (I honestly still have no idea why we broke up and it still bothers me that he never gave me any closure except “You don’t understand now, but you will” WHAT?). I want to text him bc I want answers but I know that would only set me back and honestly, it’s disrespectful to his new gf and their relationship. Edited April 21, 2010 by hellopeople
Chrome Barracuda Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 If your NC, stay NC. reguardless, if the relationship was over, then he had every right to find someone else. The same as you. I wish you the best and to not look backwards look forwards.
TaraMaiden Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 So, my question is, did me being in total NC cause him to not even try to reconcile with me and forget me? . Nope. he made that decision all on his own. You were not in NC, as far as he was concerned. You were simply history and out of the picture. He's moved on. I would respectfully suggest you do the same, because you will never get the apology, answers to your questions, reasons, clarifications or responses you seek. If he didn't respect your feelings when you broke up, what makes you think he's going to give a hoot about them now, huh? Leave it. It's done and done with. Turn the page, and keep going.
CaliGuy Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 All NC does is reinforce your stance that you don't deserve to be second place. If he found someone else, NC did not do that, he did it on his own and it meant you made him a priority and he made you an alternative. Stick to NC and move on with your life as best you can.
Ilovecake Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 If he wanted to date someone else, NC wouldn't make a lick of difference. As a matter of fact if you kept pursuing him after he told you he doesn't wish to be your boyfriend that might have pushed him to date someone even sooner. You however stuck to your guns and came out with your pride in tact. As much as you are questioning your actions I swear to you, you did the right thing.
jthorne Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 All NC does is reinforce your stance that you don't deserve to be second place. If he found someone else, NC did not do that, he did it on his own and it meant you made him a priority and he made you an alternative. Stick to NC and move on with your life as best you can.Excellent post CaliGuy, so glad you're back! OP- NC was not meant to make him realize how much he misses you and wants you back. If you were hoping for that, I'm sorry- it usually doesn't go that way. You going NC is supposed to be for YOU- to start the healing process and move on.
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