Blue6 Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 These last 5 months have been some of the most difficult of my life. I lost her and my dream job consecutively and I have never been the same since. All of sudden, nothing matters to me. Finding new work, meeting people, nothing matters to me. I feel hollow inside and on top of that I can't feel anything anymore. These are not exaggerations by any means, life just doesn't have any purpose. It's like I can't forgive myself for what happened or just let it go, it's constantly sitting in the pit of my stomach reminding me of how I failed and there is nothing I can do to make peace with it. I am scared for myself and my future because something has happened to me for the worse and I can't move past it.
deux ex machina Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 Oh, honey... ((hugs)) I'm sorry you're in such pain. Your post reminded me of something...I'll see if I can find it.
deux ex machina Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 (edited) These last 5 months have been some of the most difficult of my life. I lost her and my dream job consecutively and I have never been the same since. All of sudden, nothing matters to me. Finding new work, meeting people, nothing matters to me. I feel hollow inside and on top of that I can't feel anything anymore. These are not exaggerations by any means, life just doesn't have any purpose. It's like I can't forgive myself for what happened or just let it go, it's constantly sitting in the pit of my stomach reminding me of how I failed and there is nothing I can do to make peace with it. I am scared for myself and my future because something has happened to me for the worse and I can't move past it. Found it. I do not know if this post will be helpful to you, but just in case...here's a link so you can read it: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showpost.php?p=2434350&postcount=11 The "constantly sitting in the pit of my stomach reminding me...nothing I can do to make peace with it" part made me think that this could be helpful to you. ---------- I am sorry that I don't know the background...have you been in any kind of contact at all? What are ways that you know of that can work to help you cope with anxiety? Please hang in there. Be kind to yourself. Edited April 21, 2010 by deux ex machina
GrayClouds Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 Are you working with anyone professionally, if not it may be time to get some help. What are you doing to help you move on? Good luck and be kind to yourself.
cp3_panda Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 wow deus ex machina. that right there is deep.. I have always been interested in the feeling of love and how to explain it psychologically and sociologically. What you said there makes a lot of sense. I guess after my 4 year relationship with my ex.. I hurt so much in such a primal way because I guess at the time.. my self-esteem was shot.. I had no purpose in life for myself.. She filled the void of this lack of purpose. But recently(last few days since the breakup in a month).. I have found my purpose to improve and definitely advance myself as well as my career.. I found that I miss her much less. I still think of her from time to time.. But I dont feel a lack of purpose nor do I feel like I can never find someone like her. And to the OP, I definitely hope u feel better. I thought my life was over for a few weeks after my relationship ended.. Actually it was a few months since I knew it was coming a few months before we actually officially broke it off. I hope that you get through it. The best thing to do.. no matter how cliche it sounds is to DO STUFF until you DO get feelings for things back. I heard from someone that as a male you should start dating and even if you have no real romantic feelings for other people.. If you keep casually dating and meeting new people.. u will eventually create a connection. Just be cautious not to use her as a rebound if you do.
cdt76 Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 I know you think it is over. You wonder why it has all happened to you when you have worked so hard to get where you are. You trust no one, love no one and even your own self confidence is in shambles. In 2005, I was forced to resign my dream job, through no fault of my own. I lost 100,000 dollars. My confidence and self worth were in ruins. Divorce ensued. Major depression hit. Therapy, medication. Time. I started completely over. With nothing. Making only a quarter of what I had made only a few months before. Searched for my career back, eventually. Got started again at the bottom. A year later, promoted. Met the woman of my dreams and she ended up cheating on me with a co worker of mine. Shattered again, this time, emotionally, physically and spiritually. The crack went deeper then the first and yes sir, I contemplated ending it. I thought about driving right off a bridge at 100 miles an hour. I found one reason to live. That reason is the only reason I'm here today. Do you give up? You can. The only advice I can give is figure out what you need in your life to keep going. It is hard and it hurts like hell and there is no medication or pain killer or drink or drug that you can take to make it go away. You have to make it happen over time.
cp3_panda Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 cdt76, thats deep too. I think that a lot of people at some point in their life contemplate about ending their lives. I have gotten into conversations where people have opened up and actually talked about it. People u normally would not imagine in a million years would actually do something like that. Why is it so prevalent? Because people believe that ending life is an easy way to end the suffering. But do you know why human beings are the most dominant species in the world? Because we dont take the easy way out and we literally fall, pick ourselves up just to fall and do it again. If you look at it in an evolutionary standpoint, human beings get the **** of almost every physical trait. We are not particularly big, nor strong, nor fast, nor etc. But our desire to keep pushing on has made us the masters of this world. Particularly in the OP's case, I think every human being will venture to a point where they will reach the very BOTTOM of their entire life. What defines YOU as a person if how you react to that. If you want to think about it, the weak will give up and commit suicide. You my friend.. are definitely not weak. Your resolve just to post on this forum shows that you are not. If you truly were weak, you would have already committed suicide. I think that any individual with the strength to ask for help in a time of need is someone that deserves much better than what you are feeling now. Now it is up to you to give yourself a second chance. I promise you that you WILL find your purpose and emotions once again. When you get to that point, you will look back and see why this event ultimately shaped you into the ideal future you!
ukguy1985 Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 you could try getting hypnotised to forget your ex or increase your self esteem.
cdt76 Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 And likely make the same mistakes again? No thank you.
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