chapter44 Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 Looking for a little help on a particular situation maybe you can relate. Broke up with my fiance a few weeks ago who I loved very much. I am doing well and had very little interaction with since. My question is she gave me back her engagement ring which was quite exspensive. It is sitting in a drawer in my house and I haven't looked at it since I moved. I don't have any hope of us working things out because she is already in another relationship. I don't need the money and am having a hard time even opening the drawer where the ring sits. Should I get rid of it or wait until the pain has subsided.
quankanne Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 wait it out a bit ... that way when you DO decide to do something about it (hock it, pass it along), you won't have that emotional tie to it. am sorry to hear about the break-up ... how are you doing?
Author chapter44 Posted April 20, 2010 Author Posted April 20, 2010 I am holding up quite well. Like everyone I have had my moments but really been focused on myself guess its okay to be selfish now! I am a little older 44 and wiser so I never did the checking her fb, calling, pleading thing - it came down to respect for me and if she wasn't going to respect me then I certainly was going to.
quankanne Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 focus is good, not selfish. and yeah, being in the 40-something crowd lends a certain dignity to how you conduct matters, doesn't it?
sally4sara Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 You could always keep it for a more worthy lady or give it to a relative to use with their proposal.
Author chapter44 Posted April 20, 2010 Author Posted April 20, 2010 You got that right being in your 40's you hopefully have learned some things about life, love, and respect. The one thing that I have always believed is people will only treat you they way YOU allow them to. I should have left her when I first found out she was contacting her ex behind my back (HUGE red flag). But she said all the right things, got a new phone with a different number, and said she wanted only me. I didn't want to be such a black and white type of person so I agreed to stay only for that to come back and bite me hard. When it happened again twice more I realized that if she doesn't love and respect me the way I do her then I need to think about only myself. I moved out within 12 hours and now I am finding time to focus on me (she required alot of attention and was sucking the life from me). My house is always neat and tidy, I have time to focus on physical health and well being. Do I get lonely at times? Sure but thats normal when you have daily interaction with another human being and then POW nothing. Overall I am in a good place in my life and I will never lose sight of the person I am again to try to make someone else happy.
quankanne Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 I will never lose sight of the person I am again to try to make someone else happy GOOD! I think oftentimes, we find ourselves doing things or trying to re-invent ourselves in order to keep something going ... or to make the other person happy at the sacrifice of our own mental health. Not to be mean, but your ex sounds like an emotional vampire. however, there are decent chicks out there who know how to give fairly in a relationship and who won't suck the life out of you just because you're in that relationship with them. when the time is right, I hope you find her, the one who is worthy of what you bring to the relationship :love:
DustySaltus Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 Chapter, I'm sorry about your situation. But you need to count your blessings. My fiance didn't give me back the ring, lives in another country so it's extremely hard to even fight for it if I wanted to and also as a bonus tried to get me fired from my job. Add onto that all the pain that goes with a broken engagement and I was not a very good place to say the least. It's a blessing in disguise that things worked out the way they did for both of us. Keep it in the drawer until you calm down, then go and sell it....good luck.
CaliGuy Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 Looking for a little help on a particular situation maybe you can relate. Broke up with my fiance a few weeks ago who I loved very much. I am doing well and had very little interaction with since. My question is she gave me back her engagement ring which was quite exspensive. It is sitting in a drawer in my house and I haven't looked at it since I moved. I don't have any hope of us working things out because she is already in another relationship. I don't need the money and am having a hard time even opening the drawer where the ring sits. Should I get rid of it or wait until the pain has subsided. I gave my exes engagement ring to my sister. It's better than selling it, it's an upgrade, she loves it and knows her brother cares about her. So in essence you can not wait on your ex. You need to move forward. Sell the ring or give it to a family member but don't hold on to it. It isn't going to do you any good.
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