Cantcope Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 I literally feel like I'm going to die! I have to see him every day, and I can see that he's not himself. I can see his hurt. If he's hurt too, why can't we just talk? Why can't we just make things work? I hate that he finally got to the point where he won't give it another chance. Yet I still hold out hope? WHY? WHY DO I TORTURE MYSELF THIS WAY? We are not in contact, so why am I hoping that history will repeat itself and that in a few days he will realize he misses me and that I'm not groveling and come back to me? At the same time, I'm TERRIFIED that he won't. I feel helpless. I want to crawl into a hole and die!
EthanH Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 I'm exactly the same. The thing is, because she told me not to believe her when she says she doesn't care, it is difficult now she is acting like that! It's driving me nuts! My main interest seems to be whenever I have a space minute, to think how to change her mind. I feel like the clock is ticking and that I need to get in contact with her before she totally moves on from me. But at the same time, I have replied to posts on here... where they have said similar things, and my reply is: 'if it is love, if they care for you as much as you do for them, they won't move on...'... and i guess that is the point...you cannot make someone want you, and no matter how much you think it would work, you cannot force that. My ex even says she thinks if we got back together, it would work, she just isn't willing to put in the effort.
collegemommy Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 First of all, you'll be alright, eventually...That said, I know exactly what you are going through. I have been going through it myself the past couple of weeks. If your feelings are like mine, you feel like your drowning in your own emotions and there is no one there to save you. It sucks and I'm sorry you're going through this. My ex (fiance) and I have been through similar issues in the past. He leaves and ends up coming back within a few weeks. The first couple of weeks are pure torture but by the third, things are starting to look up. Then he comes waltzing back into my life as soon as I stop trying to talk to him. It's inevitable. Every time, I worry that he will move on. That he will find someone else to completely replace me. That's what bothers me the most. I don't have any advice but you're definitely not alone. I know that doesn't mean much but I found comfort knowing that my heart wasn't the only one that was broken. Just remember, if it was meant to be, it will be. Everything in life is a balance and when things are out of balance, the world has a way of straightening things out. Good luck and I hope that things work out...
Author Cantcope Posted April 20, 2010 Author Posted April 20, 2010 I just can't give up hope that history will somehow repeat itself. This past weekend, I groveled like the biggest fool. Did the whole "please baby....give me one more chance" stuff. Ignored. The last thing he said to me when I tried to contact him yesterday was "leave me alone". That is exactly what I intend to do. But I wish that I would stop trying to fool myself into thinking that like the past, if I leave him alone, in a week or so he'll realize he misses and come back. I would like to do thinkgs differently this time, and I feel that our relationship can work. I want to fight for love, but I can't force him to be with me. What if this time, he really means it? What if this time...he's really done?
collegemommy Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 I just can't give up hope that history will somehow repeat itself. This past weekend, I groveled like the biggest fool. Did the whole "please baby....give me one more chance" stuff. Ignored. The last thing he said to me when I tried to contact him yesterday was "leave me alone". That is exactly what I intend to do. But I wish that I would stop trying to fool myself into thinking that like the past, if I leave him alone, in a week or so he'll realize he misses and come back. I would like to do thinkgs differently this time, and I feel that our relationship can work. I want to fight for love, but I can't force him to be with me. What if this time, he really means it? What if this time...he's really done? Oh honey, I can really feel your pain. I get it, understand it, and though I don't know you, I wish I could take the pain away from you. If he is truly over you, then there isn't going to be anything you can do. You'll just pick up the remains of your broken heart and do your best to put it back together. In time, you're heart will be as good as new. I know that's not what you want to hear but you can't force someone to love and be with you. Like I said earlier, if it is meant to be then it will work itself out. For now, as hard as it is, you need to pull yourself together and continue on with your life. The more you go after him, the more he is going to refuse because he doesn't see any confidence. Make him miss you! Do your own thing and smile while doing it. One of two things will happen, either he will realize why he fell in love with you to begin with and come back or you'll be happy with yourself and won't think twice about him.... Either way you win!
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