EthanH Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 ok so my gf split with me about 2 months ago. We had a week of no contact, then a week of drunken hook-ups. The week after we had a massive drunken argument. Since then we haven't really been in contact, but last sunday we spoke, she admitted she missed me and we were unofficially together until thursday this week. She slept with a guy during the main part of our break-up, it was a few days after I told her how well I was getting on with my career ambitions (I am a college student, but I had to take a year out and since the break-up I have been doing things which I'm really interested in and are going to be good for my cv. Also catching up with some really good friends and going out and trying to have a good time. This has all be shown on my fb profile updates)...she told me she struggled to see that I was 'living my life' more than she was, and it made her wonder if she was missing out being with this 'great guy'. She would look at the valentines card at the bottom of her bed and wonder if she had made a mistake. She told me she slept with the guy, soon after we had skyped while I was away having a great time with friends/work experience as she wanted to try and get over me. It was almost like she was scared of being the one who ended it but being left behind while I moved on to better things (she knew I still wanted her but struggled to see I was moving other parts of my life forward, know it isn't a healthy thought on her part, but in a way i can understand it) So this is my question: She says since that her feelings have changed. She still cares really strongly for me, but she says the feelings aren't the same. And it has hit me why this is. We were very close. We were both quite needy at some points. We spent too much time together. When she was needy she would hate herself for it and withdraw, and that only made her feelings of want to be close to me stronger. She got annoyed with herself and thus wasn't happy. However, since we broke up, she has proved to herself that she can be ok alone, she can be happy, she can go out and do things and not need me. And that is why I feel she thinking her feelings are different for me, she hasn't got they ever present urge to need me. In many ways, I think that is very very healthy. I'm the same, I don't need her, but I still want her. I see this so clearly. Have any of you been in this situation of being needy in a relationship, ending it, and then even though you care about your ex, because you have lost that neediness, you are convinced your feelings are different. I posted this on here because I wanted to hear from people who feel needy in a relationship etc etc... people who have been in her shoes... thanks for any advice you may be able to provide
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