iheartlavalamps Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 I've been seeing this guy for about 2 weeks, and I didn't think we were official, but tonight at dinner he made a joke about breaking up. We can't break up if we aren't together. Last week, an ex asked me to hang out (which means fool around) and I guess because I was upset, I agreed. At the time, I knew it was wrong, but I didn't think I was cheating. I feel awful, but I'm not going to mention it to him. I don't see the point in hurting him and ruining something great, when it will NEVER happen again. Is that cheating, anyway? I wouldn't think so . . . but I've thought that before. . .
aerogurl87 Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 If you two haven't established exclusivity then to me, no it's not. Just a misunderstanding, but to him it will be. Happened with my ex and I, I thought we were just talking but in his mind we were together which meant I cheated.
Author iheartlavalamps Posted April 20, 2010 Author Posted April 20, 2010 yeah that happened to me once too. That guy NEVER let it go. Which is why I'm not ever mentioning this "misunderstanding" (it really was) to anyone except on here. I might feel guilty forever, but I can't hurt him over something silly. I should have known better. No, I DID know better. I just suck. [end of whiny bits]
JustJoe Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 Lamps, You might not think it was cheating, but he certainly will. What you have to decide, is your honesty worth a 2 week brief relationship? Do you really want a relationship based on a lie? How good would it be? My advice is to end it with him, and the next time you are dating make sure that both of you are on the same page. Good Luck!!
Author iheartlavalamps Posted April 20, 2010 Author Posted April 20, 2010 doubtful, but does it change anything if I told him to begin with when we first went out that I'd been "talking" to someone but it wasn't serious?
JustJoe Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 Thing is, that for whatever reason, the guy got the impression that you were a couple. My take on it is that you walk away, honest, instead of lying to him about your hook up.
aerogurl87 Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 I agree with Joe and if he asks for you back then that's on him. But let him be able to make that decision with having all the facts first. I "cheated" on my ex and told him the next day after it happened. He broke up with me (although like you I didn't know how you could break up if you were just talking) and then 3 days later he asked for a second chance. So after that he asked for me back and we became exclusive. He never got over it though, which was hard, but at least I could go to sleep at night knowing I had told him everything and wasn't hiding anything from him.
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