bluz73 Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 This didnt happened yet but I am trying to prepare myself for it. So how did you feel when you found out your ex is engaged, regardless of who dumped who??
DustySaltus Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 If you cut off all contact with them then you would never know that it happened. Why are you waiting for things that will make you feel bad instead of finding things that will make you feel better? I was engaged, then I wasn't. I went through some horrible times and continued to do so until I pulled myself out of that hole. The pain was sometimes unbearable, then it became bearable, then it was almost liked i missed it as I got better. No matter what ANYONE else says to you unless YOU want to get better the healing process cannot begin.
Author bluz73 Posted April 20, 2010 Author Posted April 20, 2010 If you cut off all contact with them then you would never know that it happened. Why are you waiting for things that will make you feel bad instead of finding things that will make you feel better? I was engaged, then I wasn't. I went through some horrible times and continued to do so until I pulled myself out of that hole. The pain was sometimes unbearable, then it became bearable, then it was almost liked i missed it as I got better. No matter what ANYONE else says to you unless YOU want to get better the healing process cannot begin. I am on a rollercoaster everthing is goin fine them BOOM I hear stories bout him, we live in the same small town and it sucks I am just preparing mentally if he does get engaged then I must deal with the stab, but I wonder if he heard I was dating or engaged if it would bother him?
scshlady Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 My ex of 22 years of marriage announced the day after our divorce was final that he was engaged -- I had no time to think about it before it happened. Pretend that this IS going to happen, and let your self fantacize about it for a day or two. Then pick yourself up, remind yourself that you are a worthwhile human being, and let it go. By facing the fact that he's no longer mine, I felt like I can move on. Best wishes!
skydiveaddict Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 This didnt happened yet but I am trying to prepare myself for it. So how did you feel when you found out your ex is engaged, regardless of who dumped who?? You're going to drive yourself crazy worrying about things you cant control. Concentrate on what you can control. Like healing up and maybe finding someone better.
USMCHokie Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 Out of sight, out of mind...luckily there's really no way for me to find out...
DustySaltus Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 but I wonder if he heard I was dating or engaged if it would bother him? So if he felt bad that would in turn make you feel good or make you feel like he truly cared about you? Stop the mindset of validating your own feelings through others. Who cares what he thinks? I don't care what a quitter says after they quit...........it's irrelevant. They just showed me who they really are.
Ilovecake Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 I'm pretty much over him, there's still a little resentment here and there but that ]s because of his constant need to bother me. However when someone told me he was engaged I almost puked and then I cried all day. I didn't cry because I missed him or wanted to be with him. My though process was complete self loathing. I couldn't understand how an unattractive loser which no job and no ambitions can get engaged and at 39 years old I've never once even been asked. You know you question all the thing they told you about marriage and commitment when you were with them and then you see the ex doing the opposite of what he swore his true beliefs are. I just felt duped all over again. The more I know about her (people talk) the better I feel though. She’s completely submissive and completely changing her entire personality to fit his mold. He's marrying her because he can control her. I realize that might have just been too independent and strong willed for him, which made me feel a whole lot better.
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