Johhny4 Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 I have been seeing my girlfriend for 2 years now, everything has been great but in the last few month they have been lack of sexual contact, and I've been pushed away or had excuses like "You're breath stinks" or "I am too tired". I have believed it and said that's alright we don't need too. About a month ago she went to a music show with her friend, she didn't get home until about 3 in the morning which is unlike her. She told me how her and her friends got invited backstage to have drinks with the band which i was alright with until i saw some pictures of how the band wrote all over her and pictures of her and the members hugging but then again that's normal for when you meet a band. I put it all behind me until i was on her PC and saw pictures of one of the band members wearing her underwear which i was not happy about she said it was all fun and games and they wanted stupid photos of wearing bra's and girls underwear. Yet again i forgot all about it until the day before i left to go home i noticed she had a message from the same band member saying he misses her which i didn't take nice at all. I got home and out of paranoia i tried to get into her emails to see if she had replied but i couldn't get into them (i found out later that she had changed the passwords we usually know each others passwords too) I had an uneasy few days and i let it all out on to her and i got the "you don't trust me" line but then we sorted everything out. But now the little things are picking at me like when she's texting on her phone, talking to other guys i don't know (she is a more of a mans friend than a girls friend type girl) ignoring me because i am not a talkative person and not giving me the random hug or kiss and when i tried to i get pushed away, also the lack of sexual contact it just really set's me off and makes me more and more paranoid. But we have been talking about it, and when i explain about getting pushed away she cry's to me and tells me she loves me and that she doesn't notice whats shes doing? but then at the same time questioning why i am upset with it at the same time or saying something along the lines of so all you want is sex. When to be honest all i want is to be noticed again and not be pushed away when trying to have some intimacy. We would get to a "home" around 6ish and we have something to eat and then she would always turn on the PC and do her email checking and then always just sit there and go through websites and sometimes offer to watch a movie and ill just sit through it when all i really want to be doing is sitting with the PC of and having real me and her time. but then when she finally switches the PC off she complains shes too tired to kiss me or have sexual contact. Also when i ask early on she's always say "maybe later on" but then it was never like that before. I also found pictures she took of herself naked i sometimes have asked her for some but usually refuses and i laugh it off like that's fine, but these pictures i found where new and i didn't even ask for some and around the same time as some of the arguments, i mensioned them to her and she said that they where for me but forgot to send them. some signs I've been reading; - "Maybe later" then "too tired" - "We don't have trust anymore" when she changed her password's - "I want to see my friends a lot more and you should see you're friends more" - Pushing me away when i go for a kiss or a hug - Pictures which she normally doesn't take even if i ask. I have confronted her that the sign's i have been getting off her are all the signs of someone cheating because i have no real clue what to do and it's eating away at me. She started crying and basically making me feel like i am a real bad person to even think that she would. I am really confused i hope someone could just spread some advice, if it sounds like she might be cheating or not? or just a really difficult girl?
D-Lish Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 I have confronted her that the sign's i have been getting off her are all the signs of someone cheating because i have no real clue what to do and it's eating away at me. She started crying and basically making me feel like i am a real bad person to even think that she would. I am really confused i hope someone could just spread some advice, if it sounds like she might be cheating or not? or just a really difficult girl? I'm really sorry you are going through this. I don't think you are being paranoid, I think something is going on. At the very least, taking off her undies and giving them to another guy is beyond inappropriate. A common defence against cheating is to respond by making the other person feel guilty or crazy. Don't fall for it. It really is one of the oldest tricks in the book. She's: 1) withdrawn 2) with-holding 3) secretive Pay attention to your gut because something is def wrong.
FryFish Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 She ****ed the band member and is sending naked photos to random guys... DTB
Author Johhny4 Posted April 20, 2010 Author Posted April 20, 2010 I'm really sorry you are going through this. I don't think you are being paranoid, I think something is going on. At the very least, taking off her undies and giving them to another guy is beyond inappropriate. I am sorry i meant just her Bra not her undies
D-Lish Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 [quote=Johhny4;2757515 I am sorry i meant just her Bra not her undies Is that okay with you? Because it shouldn't be.
Author Johhny4 Posted April 20, 2010 Author Posted April 20, 2010 Is that okay with you? Because it shouldn't be. it isn't okay to me, but if it was her undies it would have been over as soon as and i wouldn't be here.
D-Lish Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 it isn't okay to me, but if it was her undies it would have been over as soon as and i wouldn't be here. What about the word of your friends that they witnessed her cheating? Come on, at some point, you need to stop being a door mat and stand up for yourself. Until you are ready to stop making excuses for her, you're accepting your own misery.
Green Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 You are not paranoid, the fact that a band member has her number and is missing her after she gave him her bra is really enough to call it off. Seriously if you don't live with this girl wit would be easy to break it off
Author Johhny4 Posted April 20, 2010 Author Posted April 20, 2010 What about the word of your friends that they witnessed her cheating? Come on, at some point, you need to stop being a door mat and stand up for yourself. Until you are ready to stop making excuses for her, you're accepting your own misery. The word from my friends is that she would never do a thing ever, it's what confuses me and say shes not the type of person to do that sort of thing. I know i am a push over it's sickening. But at the same time i seriously don't want to lose her and i have no real evidence that anything really happened and even the number of time's i have brought it up and lost control over it she has stated that she has not cheating and never would and somewhat of it i believe but then like the signs what I've read about are still there. I have been told by my friends to just forget all the stuff and just see what happens, it's also made it a bit difficult because we share a band and friends together. I don;t really know to be honest but i am sure if i hold on a wee while i can get the truth out whatever it is or something.
eraser Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 She is either not interested in having a relationship with you anymore or she is straight up cheating. Maybe she is both. She only cries because she feels a little guilty or because you are standing up for yourself. Don't be taken in by that emotional blackmail. You're either going to have to put an end to her behavior or the relationship.
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