Agent Thomas Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 I don't mean in the course of like 5 minutes. Not a bipolar issue. But like, my gf and me just say really romantic things and I just get really happy and then yesterday and today she has been distant and stressed out. And I feel like super depressed and blah. I don't know what the hell to do. She's with her cousin right now and said she'd text me in an hour, about 2 hours ago. She said she loved me though. Sigh. Is this normal for girls to do this? How do I not let it bother me like this?
Romance Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 I am like that a lot, I dunno why. Like through texting I come off as happy and loving then later on, short and distance.
Author Agent Thomas Posted April 19, 2010 Author Posted April 19, 2010 Yeah it sucks. I think she is probably worse though, because she has like 10000000 million stressors in her life right now and like idk what to do to just make her happy. I am here for her, I would never cheat, and I try to make her happy. So when she gets distant like this, it makes no sense. I really don't know. I feel so depressed and it sucks bad.
Romance Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 have you tried telling her it makes you feel bad? I personally distance myself from people i love when im stressed and/or upset. I don't mean to hurt anyone but I do that so I don't blow up at them and take it out on them. I'd definitely talk to her though.
USMCHokie Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 So when she gets distant like this, it makes no sense. I really don't know. I feel so depressed and it sucks bad. Don't think of it as becoming distant...both of you have your own lives that are separate from the relationship...remember that...especially this early on...just because she doesn't involve you in certain things doesn't mean that she doesn't love you...so if she needs time to herself, let her have it...from what i've read in your previous threads, it seems that your relationship with her has been on the fast track early on...you got to give each other some space to... That was one of my major mistakes in my last relationship...spent WAY to much time with her...became co-dependent...didn't have my own life away from her...and I didn't let her have her own life away from me...don't get caught in that trap...
Author Agent Thomas Posted April 19, 2010 Author Posted April 19, 2010 I will tell her it bothers me that she is so stressed and stuff, thanks... How long should I wait before contacting her? This is the second time today she said she'd text me and didn't. It pisses me off. She knows how much I care, and she tells me all the time I'm the best guy she's ever dated, and the first guy to make her feel love again and stuff. She just is so affectionate and romantic, then bam, she acts like this today. I asked her why she seems so much more stressed lately than when we first met. She says its because she's "comfortable showing it now". Last night I told her I feel like I'm stressing her or something, and she got real quiet and sad and she admitted she was afraid I'd break up with her or something. Maybe that's what she really wants...
Author Agent Thomas Posted April 19, 2010 Author Posted April 19, 2010 That was one of my major mistakes in my last relationship...spent WAY to much time with her...became co-dependent...didn't have my own life away from her...and I didn't let her have her own life away from me...don't get caught in that trap... Thank you my friend for this advice. It rings true. How often do you think we should see eachother? I always give her the opportunity to like, not spend a day or something together and she always replies "but I want to.." yet I feel like at the same time, it pushes her away to see me so often.
USMCHokie Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 Thank you my friend for this advice. It rings true. How often do you think we should see eachother? I always give her the opportunity to like, not spend a day or something together and she always replies "but I want to.." yet I feel like at the same time, it pushes her away to see me so often. I think you are far enough into your relationship to not have to set limits and constraints on how often you see each other...it should be natural, not set in stone...this shows the importance of having your own life with your own schedule outside of her and the relationship...you won't have to bullsh*t her or play any games as far as spending time with her...since you'll have your own activities and things going on, you will be able to say no to her when she wants to see you...because you've got YOUR OWN thing to do...that's how you control the amount of time spent with her...by living and doing your own thing...and treating time with her as any other activity... And don't "give her an opportunity" to have her own day...give yourself the opportunity to have your own day...
Recommended Posts