cherubim Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 When married women give up on their marriages and seek other men who make them feel good, how long does this last? I am of the school of thought that once a woman seeks a separaion coz of another man and starts seeing another man, he gets bored really fast when the allure of sneaking isnt there. Do men take married women whom they cheat with seriously and for life?
Woggle Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 There are a few OM who have a saviors complex and actually believe the stuff some women say about their husbands but most men who mess around with married women just want an easy lay.
Author cherubim Posted April 19, 2010 Author Posted April 19, 2010 I agree. And then the woman ends up in square 1. Feeling used n cheap n had pegged her hopes on this Other man. Once he has sex with her a few times he will run away.
Woggle Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 I agree. And then the woman ends up in square 1. Feeling used n cheap n had pegged her hopes on this Other man. Once he has sex with her a few times he will run away. This might sound harsh but that is what she gets for cheating. For the record I have no sympathy at all for male cheaters either.
linwood Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 When married women give up on their marriages and seek other men who make them feel good, how long does this last? I am of the school of thought that once a woman seeks a separaion coz of another man and starts seeing another man, he gets bored really fast when the allure of sneaking isnt there. Do men take married women whom they cheat with seriously and for life? Not many and not often I`d think. Married women are generally attractive to single men because they are married and can force no commitment. It`s usually a purely sexual relationship I think.
Author cherubim Posted April 19, 2010 Author Posted April 19, 2010 sexual yes, and in 2010 with HIV and Herpes i think its FOOLISH
bluz73 Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 When married women give up on their marriages and seek other men who make them feel good, how long does this last? I am of the school of thought that once a woman seeks a separaion coz of another man and starts seeing another man, he gets bored really fast when the allure of sneaking isnt there. Do men take married women whom they cheat with seriously and for life? I for one was in an affair while married My guy was single and it lasted almost 6 years. I couldnt leave my kids behind and my OM couldnt get drugfree or stable, and he eventually got tired of waiting and moved on and Im still a bit hurt from it. I cant now look back and see he must have had deep issues to stay with a married woman and even buy me an engagement ring lol
MorningCoffee Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 (edited) Well, I can only speak for myself, and only from being the OM for a MW once, but as I have said elsewhere on LS, it was a lot more than just sex for me, and I had hopes for the long haul. Probably affair-fogged thinking, but I did. I guess it's just that I put all of myself into my relationships, and this one happened to be with a MW. Now it is NC, and she and her H are in MC. Maybe they'll stick, maybe they'll split -- who knows? But I doubt that it'll be me in her future, and I also doubt that I will ever want to get involved with a MW again. Too much pain. Lesson learned. Edited April 19, 2010 by MorningCoffee
White Flower Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 Well, I can only speak for myself, and only from being the OM for a MW once, but as I have said elsewhere on LS, it was a lot more than just sex for me, and I had hopes for the long haul. Probably affair-fogged thinking, but I did. I guess it's just that I put all of myself into my relationships, and this one happened to be with a MW. Now it is NC, and she and her H are in MC. Maybe they'll stick, maybe they'll split -- who knows? But I doubt that it'll be me in her future, and I also doubt that I will ever want to get involved with a MW again. Too much pain. Lesson learned. ((((MorningCoffee)))). Sorry to hear that you (one of the few according to the OP and Woggle) who actually got your heart involved. Well, there are lots more, but most OM don't post their broken hearts on websites like this. Please keep on posting. FWIW, MM was once my OM but he never once referred to himself that way. Not that he took on the title of MM either, but I'm sure it would give him more power to do so. Just a thought.
ladydesigner Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 Well, I can only speak for myself, and only from being the OM for a MW once, but as I have said elsewhere on LS, it was a lot more than just sex for me, and I had hopes for the long haul. Probably affair-fogged thinking, but I did. I guess it's just that I put all of myself into my relationships, and this one happened to be with a MW. Now it is NC, and she and her H are in MC. Maybe they'll stick, maybe they'll split -- who knows? But I doubt that it'll be me in her future, and I also doubt that I will ever want to get involved with a MW again. Too much pain. Lesson learned. It is really refreshing to get an OM's POV on here as there are not many on LS. Sorry you ended up hurting from this. I am a MOW, my XOM ended the A. I would like to think it was more than the sex and this is one example of that. But there is pain on both sides of the coin I guess and I also agree that these A's involve too much pain and lessons learned.
Fallen Angel Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 Well, I can only speak for myself, and only from being the OM for a MW once, but as I have said elsewhere on LS, it was a lot more than just sex for me, and I had hopes for the long haul. Probably affair-fogged thinking, but I did. I guess it's just that I put all of myself into my relationships, and this one happened to be with a MW. Now it is NC, and she and her H are in MC. Maybe they'll stick, maybe they'll split -- who knows? But I doubt that it'll be me in her future, and I also doubt that I will ever want to get involved with a MW again. Too much pain. Lesson learned. There are other OM that occasionally grace us with thier presence and post that they, too, were in it for the long haul; if only their MW had seen the light. But, things being what they are, they are in the same place as you. So do not feel like the Lone Ranger, you are one of many. It just appears that you are in the minority because so few feel safe posting their private thoughts here.
SouthernSunshine Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 There are a few OM who have a saviors complex and actually believe the stuff some women say about their husbands but most men who mess around with married women just want an easy lay. I agree! Men think logically, while women overanalyze, and get all clingy with emotion. Men just wanna get laid for crying out loud. A MW is an easy target because she's probably bored in her marriage.
In_Repair Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 (edited) I agree! Men think logically, while women overanalyze, and get all clingy with emotion. Men just wanna get laid for crying out loud. A MW is an easy target because she's probably bored in her marriage. fOM here. I loved her, and I was willing to make a go at a long term relationship with her. She never took the chance. I got tired of being the "other" man and broke it off. I never wanted that life to begin with, but like I said, I loved her. The sex was quite good, but that's not why I continued to see her for so long. Sex is easy. Why waste time playing the affair game when there are so many single women running around in need of a good vaginal probing? But then there are also predatory MW. These women have already decided to screw around long before the OM comes into the picture, and they put themselves out there for men to notice, making their intentions clear. It's hard for a single horny guy to not jump at that kind of opportunity. Nice boobs, Sunshine. Edited April 20, 2010 by In_Repair cause I can
GG2W Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 My sexual partners are almost exclusively MW for several reasons They are easy pickins. Single women see right through most of my line, MW eat them up Great Sex. With me they can let their alter ego loose and do things they would never do with their husbands. Also single women want to get serious and won't do the things MW will try
sally4sara Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 What I find the most odd for the different perspectives (OM to OW) is that the OM seems to (usually) recognize in their poaching of MW that going full tilt and trying to step into the shoes of her husband would place them in a role they do not admire. They respect the woman less for her part in the affair. While OW seem to (usually) not recognize that stepping into the shoes of the man's wife will bring all of her pain to them. They seem to get confused and think things will be different for them or that whatever his wife is getting in the relationship is deserved or better. They seem more prone to idealizing what being in a committed relationship with this man will be like and imagine reasons for why they respect the man and want him for their own. The only similarities they share is the disrespect for the BS that prompted them to act on the attraction and the idea that the WS being willing to cheat with them means they are more desirable than the BS. It gives them the feeling of being irresistible. I think both fall for that more than anything else as that belief serves them more than anything else they might stand to gain from dealing with a married person.
joey66 Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 There are other OM that occasionally grace us with thier presence and post that they, too, were in it for the long haul; if only their MW had seen the light. But, things being what they are, they are in the same place as you. So do not feel like the Lone Ranger, you are one of many. It just appears that you are in the minority because so few feel safe posting their private thoughts here. Bingo. I think there are many OM, and particularly MOM, who are in it for more than just sex. Why do OW feel safe posting their private thoughts here?
SavannahSmiles Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 sexual yes, and in 2010 with HIV and Herpes i think its FOOLISH exactly. at least when you are single you risk getting yourself infected. when you're married, you are risking infecting your innocent spouse. not cool.
Moanin Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 I have no statistics to back this up, but I think that a MOW with a single man would probably have the best shot at a "real" relationship. I say this because women are more likely than men to leave their marriage.
Woggle Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 I have no statistics to back this up, but I think that a MOW with a single man would probably have the best shot at a "real" relationship. I say this because women are more likely than men to leave their marriage. Yes but the man in most does not want a relationship with MW.
carhill Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 Do men take married women whom they cheat with seriously and for life? Yes, unfortunately, *some* do, and Wogs is right about this: There are a *few* OM who have a saviors complex and actually believe the stuff some women say about their husbands but most men who mess around with married women just want an easy lay. I was one of them, many years ago, and that dynamic will likely haunt me for the rest of my life, long after the romantic feelings have gone. The positive side is that, whenever I see the warning signs with a MW now (and there have been a number of temptations over the last couple years), the boundaries I learned because of that experience help to prevent it from happening again, on any level, from emotional involvement to an 'easy lay'.
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