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Travelling with a potential maybe.


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Posted

I am friends with a potential love interest/friend For anyone who has read my other thread will know that it has yet to be determined. I am much too big of a coward to make a move (And I don't think it's a female's place to make the first move, I refuse to set precedent) and if he does like me he is the World's Slowest Seducer. Ever. We spent alot of time exclusively but, we have not had any physical contact per se.

 

So, we are going for a trip together. We both have wanted to visit this city, we are both single and love travelling. There's a long weekend and over dinner last weekend, he asked me again if I wanted to go. So, I said yes and he booked the tickets (I'll pay him back of course)

 

Is it silly of me to agree to travel with someone I have so much interest in? I don't want to go on a trip, profess my feelings by accident (or alcohol) and end up being completely rejected. It's a long week to spend awkward.

 

Has this ever happened to anyone else? What did you do? What would you do?

Posted

How far in advance is this trip? And did he book one hotel room, or two?

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Posted
How far in advance is this trip? And did he book one hotel room, or two?

 

It's next mth. End of next mth. We have yet to book hotel rooms but we will book 1 hotel room and two single beds. I am doing the booking.

Posted

I would say...there's a lot of time between now and then for the relationship to progress (or to stay as-is). On the trip, go with the expectation that you two will have a good time. If you've gotten physically intimate prior to the trip, then you know what you've got on your trip :). But if you take the trip and you still haven't gotten intimate, plan on it staying that way. Don't go antipating any relationship changes, and then you'll enjoy yourself more.

 

And whatever you do, don't initiate a heavy "Where are we going with this relationship" sort of talk either right before the trip or during the trip, or you'll have an awkard time of it! If you don't trust yourself enough to slip up, then make sure you don't drink too much during the trip (I know how those alcohol-inspired bouts of courage can turn around and bite you in the butt).

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Posted
I would say...there's a lot of time between now and then for the relationship to progress (or to stay as-is). On the trip, go with the expectation that you two will have a good time. If you've gotten physically intimate prior to the trip, then you know what you've got on your trip :). But if you take the trip and you still haven't gotten intimate, plan on it staying that way. Don't go antipating any relationship changes, and then you'll enjoy yourself more.

 

And whatever you do, don't initiate a heavy "Where are we going with this relationship" sort of talk either right before the trip or during the trip, or you'll have an awkard time of it! If you don't trust yourself enough to slip up, then make sure you don't drink too much during the trip (I know how those alcohol-inspired bouts of courage can turn around and bite you in the butt).

 

there's no relationship to speak of. i'm just worried that i'll do something before to ruin the trip and it's a pretty expensive trip to spent awkward. sigh.

Posted
there's no relationship to speak of. i'm just worried that i'll do something before to ruin the trip and it's a pretty expensive trip to spent awkward. sigh.

 

Yes, I can see where you're coming from. A lot can transpire in 6 weeks in a relationship. But he's booked the air tickets already, sounds like you're "in" whether you like it or not! :) You sure he's booked the trip, and it's not too late to have a change of mind?

Posted (edited)

He's extremely shy and is afraid of rejection if he advances intimacy.

 

Straight Guys don't invite Girls for 1 on 1 vacations because they want to be sightseeing buddies. Period.

 

 

Some guys will intentionally "take things slow" with someone they really like in an attempt to prove that they aren't a 'player' or whatever.

Edited by Wallace1
Posted
We have yet to book hotel rooms but we will book 1 hotel room and two single beds. I am doing the booking.

 

How long have you been friends? Is he the type of person to spend a lot of time alone with other female friends?

 

Is having separate rooms not a option, due to your finances? While I agree that many men would not book a trip with a woman unless they were to some extent attracted to her, I don't think you'll feel comfortable sharing a room with someone you have more than a platonic interest in when you're uncertain of his response. Keep in mind that you can always change your accommodations later.

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Posted
Yes, I can see where you're coming from. A lot can transpire in 6 weeks in a relationship. But he's booked the air tickets already, sounds like you're "in" whether you like it or not! :) You sure he's booked the trip, and it's not too late to have a change of mind?

 

He definitely booked the ticket. He emailed me the ticket confirmation in the morning. We have been going out for the last 3 months regularly. I think that it's taken this long for us (i.e: HIM!) to be comfortable with just sharing, communicating etc...we aren't likely to shag just because we are in close proximity.

 

Wallace1: We have essentially been going out on a weekly basis..just us alone..sometimes with others..but 90% of it is just us..for the last three months. I don't view it as a relationship, to me right now it's a friendship with a potential of turning into a relationship. He is definitely straight. Actually he has been on a trip with a female friend of his (that I know of who hates me) just the two of them and they are just friends. He invited me on that trip and was gunning for me to go but I couldn't make it for that trip and, I know that the girl dislikes me because she likes him so I didn't want to be in some love triangle. In contrast, he didn't ask her or anyone else for this trip. That said, when I first got to know him..we had talked about our travel experiences and he had spoken about taking a trip on another occasion with a female friend that i don't know...it was a couple years ago.

 

O'Malley: We have been friends for the last three months or so. He does spend some time with female friends (I know of one, there's another that he sees but usually in group..but there's one girl that he hangs out with occasionally alone but I am fairly certain that they are only friends) So, I'd have to say, I don't know if he does. He definitely has more guy friends that he hangs out with and we spent x1-3 a week together..so that leaves alot less time for anyone or anything else. Isn't it?

 

With regards to sharing a room, it's not an issue because, it's cost savings right? We are both adults, I've been on trip with male friends but the line was clearly drawn. With him, it is alot murky because, we spent SO much time together doing couple stuff - movies, dinner, lunch, golf etc. I just don't want to drink and jump him...and then regret it because, he rejects me...and if he doesn't reject me then it's a whole different ball game.

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