collegemommy Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 About 3 weeks ago, my fiance and I broke up. This is absolutely devastating to me for a couple of reasons. For one, we have actually been friends since I was a toddler. At this point, friends for 23 years or so. We started dating 5 years ago and have been engaged for 3. For two, we have a baby together plus he has two kids from a previous relationships who I grew very attached to since they lived with us for the last year. Our decision to split was a fairly mutual one. I think he may have been cheating on me for a couple of days before the break-up but the timeline seems unclear. He upset me one night and I asked him to not bother coming home. A day later, we discussed ending the relationship and agreed. I was fine and he seemed fine with the decision during the first week. Well, since then he has a new girlfriend who is younger than both of us (5 years younger than him) and has two kids of her own. From what I understand she just got out of a relationship with her kids' dad within the past few months. My issue is that I have had several talks with my ex. He tells me he loves me and will always love me. That no one will ever compare to me and no one can ever take my place. I've expressed the same feelings. Today, he came over to pick up a couple of things and we ended up having sex. He wasn't the one who started this, I did. He thought it would be weird but I convinced him otherwise. After, things were "normal" and he was back to calling me babe and telling me he loved me. So now I'm stuck. I love this guy with every ounce of who I am. I worry that this girl he is with will end up becoming his wife one day and I hate thinking that it won't be me. I can't eat or sleep and I feel miserable. He cries when we are together but other than that, he seems fine with it all. My question is, does anyone think there is a chance for us to work out? Is this girl a rebound or should I be concerned? How do I get him back if he is in a rebound relationship with this girl? Thanks!
Author collegemommy Posted April 19, 2010 Author Posted April 19, 2010 Well, I may have posted this too soon. I received a call this morning from my ex who told me that his new girlfriend would be calling me today. I asked why and he said because apparently this girl went through his phone last night. She saw all the text messages that he and I sent about having sex yesterday. So now she wants to talk to me and ask me if we had sex. Apparently, the two of them have had several arguements already and only been together for a couple of weeks... My new question is, do I lie about the sex when she calls or do I tell the truth? My ex works with this girl and it is against company policy for employees to date so if she freaks out, he could end up without a job.
BubbleFreak Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 Aww your story is so sad, makes me want to cry too. I'm wondering what were the reasons the two of you split up in the first place, and whether or not anything would change if you got back together. Also you suspect he cheated on you near the end, who's to say he won't cheat on you again. Right now we know he is cheating on this other girl too, with you, but that is beside the point. I don't think it's your responsiblity to try and protect him by lying to this other girl about whether or not you two had sex. I think be honest to her, you ex, and most of all yourself. But if you think it is none of her business, that's your call.
Author collegemommy Posted April 19, 2010 Author Posted April 19, 2010 Aww your story is so sad, makes me want to cry too. I'm wondering what were the reasons the two of you split up in the first place, and whether or not anything would change if you got back together. Also you suspect he cheated on you near the end, who's to say he won't cheat on you again. Right now we know he is cheating on this other girl too, with you, but that is beside the point. I don't think it's your responsiblity to try and protect him by lying to this other girl about whether or not you two had sex. I think be honest to her, you ex, and most of all yourself. But if you think it is none of her business, that's your call. Because we have been attached to each others' hip since childhood, we have such a strong history. It should seem ideal that someone would fall in love with such a good friend, however, I know everything about him. I'm already family to his family. There was nothing exciting about our relationship other than that it was "different." I have a tendency to be a little bit bossy. He can't stand it. I also tend to not be affectionate. He needs constant attention and reassurance. Growing up he was like this too. He was never like this with anyone else. It has ALWAYS been me that he comes to. We just couldn't make the relationship work because he felt undesirable and I felt overwhelmed (working, going to school, and raising 3 girls). We didn't communicate like we should have and we didn't take a break to enjoy each other. As far as what is going on with this girl, I think I need to be honest with her. I mean, yes they work together but seriously if she makes a big deal out of it, she could lose her job too (policy is no employee dating). I don't think she can afford to give up her job because she is a single mom.
Author collegemommy Posted April 19, 2010 Author Posted April 19, 2010 Well, nevermind. My ex just dumped his girlfriend. Thinks there is too much drama already and they just started dating. So now we want to stay separated but start trying to repair our relationship. I've gone through two weeks of hell...thank goodness that's over!
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