Dialectical Thinking

[shadowplay]

This is an approach my mother suggested to me, in trying to cope and resist doing self destructive things (ie make contact).

 

I think it would be beneficial to a lot of people on the coping board. Check it out:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy

[Star Gazer]

Do you have BPD?

[shadowplay]

Do you have BPD?

 

My mother has always thought I have a mild version of it, or at least some of the traits, if not the full-blown disorder. She's a psychologist, so I'll take her word for it. But she doesn't want me to categorize myself that way, since it's destructive to one's self esteem and also identifies one as a victim. I think it's better to just work on the core issues and not worry about labels.

 

Regardless, I think dialectical thinking is useful for anybody who is trying to control themselves from unhealthy behavior.

[SadKitty78]

From what I have learned about DBT is that it's a therapy created by Marsha Linehan for people diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. My friend is a psychologist so I heard about it from her. Not sure it's helpful or appropriate for people without BPD since it's at least a year long process to learn and probably can't be learned without a psychologist and a DBT group.

[Star Gazer]

My mother has always thought I have a mild version of it, or at least some of the traits, if not the full-blown disorder. She's a psychologist, so I'll take her word for it.

 

After reading the description, I can see part of it:

 

The disorder typically involves unusual levels of instability in mood; black and white thinking, or splitting; chaotic and unstable interpersonal relationships, self-image, identity, and behavior; as well as a disturbance in the individual's sense of self. In extreme cases, this disturbance in the sense of self can lead to periods of dissociation

 

I'm surprised you haven't reached out to your mom for help more often. I'd think she'd be a wonderful resource for you.

[shadowplay]

From what I have learned about DBT is that it's a therapy created by Marsha Linehan for people diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder. My friend is a psychologist so I heard about it from her. Not sure it's helpful or appropriate for people without BPD since it's at least a year long process to learn and probably can't be learned without a psychologist and a DBT group.

 

Right, I'm not suggesting by any means that people without BPD should undergo a long process of therapy. I just think many of the principles of dialectical thinking could be applied to coping with a breakup or any traumatic experience, in that it allows you to disconnect your behavior and thoughts from your feelings. Reading about it may be helpful for people who are struggling.

 

Nice avvie, btw.

[SadKitty78]

Thanks, gotta love JD! Love the username.

 

Actually I do agree with what you said. The hard part is, because it is a really complex and long process, it's hard to learn how to isolate the parts that are helpful to those undergoing a breakup. Since you are learning this therapy yourself, what have you found to be helpful in breakup situations (or at least properly handling your emotions in a breakup situation so one does not get swept and consumed by them)? I think those tips would really be helpful to all of us!

[SadandConfusedWA]

My best friend is a psychologist and she has also suggested to me that I have a mild form of BPD. I can certainly identify myself in a lot that I read about it - but then there are some parts that I don't relate to at all (being extremly dependent on another person - I am completly detached from humanity, even scarily so). Parts that I relate to are black/white thinking (a huge problem of mine) and instable emotions.

 

I often find myself thinking that somebody is "great" and then they dissapoint me in some way and I feel that I have misjudged them. Then I completly swing to the other extreme and think this person is "horrible" and adjust my perception to see them as "horrible". THEN they would do something kind or nice for me so I get confused again as this doesn't fit with my image of "horrible" so I swing back to "great". Round and round it goes.

[shadowplay]

My mother sent me the DBT Skills Workbook so I can start implementing some of the approaches on myself. I'm also going to bring it in to my therapy session this week. Also, thinking about joining a group in the area that focuses on DBT. I'll let you guys know how it all goes!

 

I've thought about the borderline thing and spoken to my mother and some other people. If I had to take a guess, I have some features but not the full disorder. The uncontrollable anger aspect doesn't really fit with me. I do have occasional outbursts, but they tend to be much more tempered than the descriptions I read, and also less random in that there's more of a legit trigger. I also don't fit into any of the self-destructive behaviors listed by the DSM -- drugs, promiscuity, binge eating, extreme spending, gambling, etc.

 

Still, I think DBT could potentially be really helpful in improving the ways in which I do fit the borderline profile (poor impulse control, fear of abandonment, feelings of emptiness).

[SadandConfusedWA]

Ugh, I fit in the outbursts part although not as severe as what is described. Throwing things etc... And my outbursts are caused by legit triggers and the only time that they are out of proportion is when I was for example supressing my feelings for my married boss and then later over-reacted in getting upset over a work issue.

 

And I do fit into the sleepng tablets addiction and excessesive spending. Oh no, now I think that I might really have BPD.

[shadowplay]

Ugh, I fit in the outbursts part although not as severe as what is described. Throwing things etc... And my outbursts are caused by legit triggers and the only time that they are out of proportion is when I was for example supressing my feelings for my married boss and then later over-reacted in getting upset over a work issue.

 

And I do fit into the sleepng tablets addiction and excessesive spending. Oh no, now I think that I might really have BPD.

 

Don't take this the wrong way, but it's actually occurred to me before that you might have it. Spookie as well. I think we al have features of BPD.

 

I'm actually glad that I found out about it, because it's helping me figure out how to better manage and cope with my problems. You might do the same. If you're anti-therapy, you can do DBT workbooks on your own. I just started one and it seems like it will be really helpful.