D-Lish Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 i've always let the chicks bring up the dreaded "talk"....don't believe i've ever initiated it And what do you do when they bring it up Alpha?
Author annabella724 Posted April 20, 2010 Author Posted April 20, 2010 kiss, just to make it clear, we weren't always sleeping together - and he ever really forced me either. It was always mutual. But you and i'mfaraway are right when you say that I should distance myself. I do agree with you D-Lish. But would that mean that I shouldn't go to lunches with him anymore? I know that I will definitely cut back on hanging out with him on the weekends or contacting him myself, but if he asks to go to lunch or something, it would seem cordial to go once in a while. And nora, you're totally correct as well. The funny thing is though, I didn't know that I would have feelings like this for him when I started. It was a miscalculation on my part... I didn't want to be a fwb, but I was just seeing where things were going... and now here I am. I guess it was partly my fault for not thinking it through. alphamale, what do you mean by no and yes??
D-Lish Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 I do agree with you D-Lish. But would that mean that I shouldn't go to lunches with him anymore? I know that I will definitely cut back on hanging out with him on the weekends or contacting him myself, but if he asks to go to lunch or something, it would seem cordial to go once in a while. ... I didn't want to be a fwb, but I was just seeing where things were going... and now here I am. I guess it was partly my fault for not thinking it through. Yes, it would mean standing up and saying "I don't accept crumbs". What purpose would it serve to have lunches or movie nights sex nights when you want a relationship and he is only interested in a casual acquaintence? What benefit do you think will come from agreeing to hang out with him sometimes when you want something more substantial? Do you think you will change his mind about you? If you don't want to be a FWB, don't be. You have the power to say no to that. If you agree to the crumbs, you are telling him that's what you think of yourself.
Ruby Slippers Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 So many smart ladies in here! Y'all said everything I was going to and then some. I totally agree with the points D-Lish is making above. If this were a strong relationship, you wouldn't have felt so doubtful in the first place. He came right out and told you he is not ready. That can be code for anything, but it means it's not going to happen and it's not worth your time. He might do a big grand gesture or two after you cut him off, but it's just chasing to soothe his ego.
Author annabella724 Posted April 20, 2010 Author Posted April 20, 2010 D-Lish, I certainly did not mean it to sound like I was going to continue with the movie nights and sex nights. I definitely have more respect for myself than that. It's just hard not to go to lunches with him occasionally when he asks, because we actually work in the same company (though not together). I want to keep things civil. But I WILL stay away from going out to bars and all with him. And it's so true that I wouldn't have had to wonder if it was a strong relationship to begin with... I guess I was just hopeful whenever he said things that made me think that he actually liked me in that way. Now I know.
alphamale Posted April 20, 2010 Posted April 20, 2010 And what do you do when they bring it up Alpha? i come clean and lay everything on the line
Pyro Posted April 21, 2010 Posted April 21, 2010 i come clean and lay everything on the line which is usually done through text messaging?
Recommended Posts