random122 Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 Long story, but you can skip to the last paragraph if necessary: So, here's the situation: Basically, I had an 8 month relationship with a girl who did not want to have sex until marriage (we're both 20ish). I broke up with her because she also didn't want me masturbating to anyone else and she would constantly act out sexually...she was essentially driving me nuts. She essentially hates me now but is dating someone else. In spite of all this, i still have this aching pain because of her absence...it's been like 6 months since we broke up, she started LC/NC about 2-3 months ago, which I've more or less respected. During the rougher spot in my falling out w/ my ex, I became better friends w/ one of our mutual friends. After this was all over, she told me she liked me but I said I wasn't ready to date yet...still needed to clear my head. So, we started dating about 3 weeks ago, but only really chill on the weekends. This girl, too, does not want to have sex until she's married. I like her, but in the wake of the last relationship I'm just not sure about having sex off of the table indefinitely. I can wait, but not forever. So, after 3 official dates and some meeting up in between, the furthest thing I've done w/ this girl is hold her hand, because I still haven't figured out just how much I'm willing to invest in this kind of relationship. I'd have to know her a lot better to commit to the no sex thing, but I don't want to string her along w/ kisses, etc in the mean time. In other words, things are stalling, and I'm increasingly thinking it's a good idea for me to date other people as well. Also, we're both going to be seniors next year, but my schedule is more or less a joke and hers is intense. I don't want to commit and not be able to give 100% as she's making academic sacrifices for our relationship. She's having an "easy" semester this year and is sleeping 4 hours a night. So, what should I do??? I'm pretty sure this girl is really into me...she's sung to me, bought me tix to a basketball game for next weekend, etc. She thinks I'm a great guy, knows that we have diff values when it comes to sex, and still wants this.
Rorschach Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 If you're suggesting 'can I date this girl, but since I'm not having sex go get sex from someone else' The answer is no. Not without being a douche in my eyes. Either live without sex or don't string the poor girl along.
Author random122 Posted April 18, 2010 Author Posted April 18, 2010 Not at all what I'm suggesting. I'm asking more about if/how I should share my concerns with her...if/how I let her know that I want to date other people as well, etc...
xRJ85x Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 Not at all what I'm suggesting. I'm asking more about if/how I should share my concerns with her...if/how I let her know that I want to date other people as well, etc... Just simply talk to her about it. Tell her this is a major difference, and that you don't wanna pressure her and how you feel about her (if you really like everything else about her, etc.)., but obviously you have wants.
Author random122 Posted April 27, 2010 Author Posted April 27, 2010 Just simply talk to her about it. Tell her this is a major difference, and that you don't wanna pressure her and how you feel about her (if you really like everything else about her, etc.)., but obviously you have wants. Thanks, I will try this. Any more advice?
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