kogasu Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 Last Saturday I was in a huge fight with my boyfriend. I called that day and apologized, I called Sunday and nothing, so then I left him alone. On Tuesday he texted and asked if he could come over because we needed to talk, I called him because I wasn't at home and asked what he wanted to talk about. He said us and I asked if there was an us and he said yes. About 30min before I talked to him I found out that my grandfather died and I went to the park, so I told him that that's where I was if he'd like to talk or if he like me to meet him somewhere else because my furnace is getting worked on and I can't go home. He said he'd just call me the next day and I asked if he was sure, why he needed to talk at my place, and he just said he wanted to pick up his stuff. Okay?.... Then he said to just call him when I could get in my place and that should be in the next couple days. I called him later that night because I was having a really hard time with my grandpa and everything(he still doesn't know), but he was with his friends and said he'd call me the next day. Now it's Sunday and I haven't talked to him since Tuesday. I haven't tried to contact him at all and he hasn't tried to contact me. What is this? Why would you want your stuff if there is an us? I just feel like everything is falling apart, my grandpa has died, I can't even go in my own home to deal right now, and the person that I usually talk to about serious stuff doesn't even know and isn't talking to me. I feel like I shouldn't contact him, because I don't want to guilt him into seeing me, but I just feel so alone right now.
Ronni_W Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 I'm so sorry for your loss, kogasu. My sympathies to you and your family. The timing with your b/f is obviously terrible, and it will be difficult to keep the two events separate in your mind and heart. But I would encourage you to try to do that as far as possible, so that you do not become overwhelmed. Call on other family members, loved ones and friends to comfort you over your Grandpa's passing. There may also be people to whom you can offer comfort -- even if it doesn't feel like you're capable of that, our reserves of strength and compassion for others will often surprise us. Your b/f may or may not allow himself be "guilted into" doing something that he does not really want to do. Or, he may genuinely want to at least offer his sympathy, if not also a shoulder and an ear. It's your call. You likely know him well enough -- if you think he'll act fake in the face of the news of your Grandpa's death, then you're pro'ly right that it won't be in your best interest to go to your b/f with your grief. Hugs and best. Sending angels to comfort you.
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