teaplease Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 Hey, so how long does everyone think it takes to properly get over an ex? I know it probably all depends on how long you were together...but what do you think is the average time....? I was with my ex 2 years, and have been split up 7 weeks now... i keep tricking myself into thinking that i'm getting over, but i still spend so much time thinking about what he is doing, ect. do you think its different for guys and girls?
Fouts Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 I don't think there's a difference between men and women, the difference is usually that one person was more done with the relationship than the other. They're the one who will move on faster. After 2 years together, I'd still expect you to wonder what they were up to. I think the key is how much you want to move on and meet someone new. That speeds up the process, especially when you meet someone that captures your interest.
bananaboat11 Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 my 1 and a half year relationship... 2 years. my 5 month relationship... 5 months. my 8 month relationship... never. We still love eachother. We've just moved on and remain friends. (complicated situation) My 1 week relationship. an hour? My 3 month relationship... a month maybe? Less perhaps... a week? I'm single now and I'm done dating forever. oh, i'm only 25.
Eeyore79 Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 I think it depends greatly on how much you loved the person and the circumstances of the breakup. If someone is a d*ck you'll get over him faster than you'd get over someone who was a really nice guy but the circumstances were difficult. You'll get over someone faster if you weren't so deeply in love with them, or if they had some major flaws. As an example: I dated someone for three years and got over him virtually immediately, because there were some major problems and I was never really in love with him. I dated someone else for two months, and I pined over him for almost two years because he was perfect and I genuinely loved him.
EricaH329 Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 I think it depends greatly on how much you loved the person and the circumstances of the breakup. If someone is a d*ck you'll get over him faster than you'd get over someone who was a really nice guy but the circumstances were difficult. You'll get over someone faster if you weren't so deeply in love with them, or if they had some major flaws. As an example: I dated someone for three years and got over him virtually immediately, because there were some major problems and I was never really in love with him. I dated someone else for two months, and I pined over him for almost two years because he was perfect and I genuinely loved him. I very much agree with this. It all depends on the circumstances. It also all depends on when you finally realize that this other person isn't the one for you. Even if they are perfect in your eyes, that doesn't mean you are perfect for eachother (cliche, I know, but so true). The quicker you are able to understand that, the quicker you will get over them and actually look forward to meeting someone that is perfect for you.
stillafool Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 Hey, so how long does everyone think it takes to properly get over an ex? I know it probably all depends on how long you were together...but what do you think is the average time....? I was with my ex 2 years, and have been split up 7 weeks now... i keep tricking myself into thinking that i'm getting over, but i still spend so much time thinking about what he is doing, ect. do you think its different for guys and girls? I read somewhere it takes 1/2 the length of the relationship to get over someone. So for you it would be 1 year to get over him.
EricaH329 Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 I read somewhere it takes 1/2 the length of the relationship to get over someone. So for you it would be 1 year to get over him. I've also read somewhere that you never get over your ex until you meet someone better. I don't believe in any of that. IME, the only thing it has to do with is you. Your perception, and the qualities you look for in another person.
USMCHokie Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 I have no idea...I'll let you know when I find out...
SadKitty78 Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 For me it's not meeting someone else, it's just that point in time where I suddenly REALIZED I haven't obsessed over or pined over the person in awhile, and then when I realized I hadn't thought about them for awhile, thinking about them doesn't send me back into that spiral. Instead I feel neutral - it's like all the pain and anger associated with that relationship has dissipated. That's how I know I'm over someone.
TLH Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 It really depends on what you are DOING to get over it. If you are initiating NC and following through (no texts/emails/calls/facebook or myspace creeping), as well as really forcing yourself to deal with the situation then you can expect to heal a lot faster than you would just sulking. You can make the CHOICE to begin the healing process instantly, or you can reside in denial and plead/beg/cry to no avail. But either it will be painful and hard. However, when you choose to truly deal with it can affect the amount of time it will take you to heal. I had a 6 year relationship (we broke up once for 3 months but got back together) and the breakup took place exactly a week ago. I have implemented strict NC the moment his car pulled out of the parking lot, and I have been doing a lot better than I thought I would. I was in shock the first 2 days, and then I stumbled onto this website. In the past 5 days (after the initial 2 day shock) I have began cleaning out my room, bought 3 books to help me heal, posted and read tremendously on this website, made an appointment to go skydiving, deactivated my facebook, and am looking forward to a trip to Ft.Lauderdale with my mom, and family friends (single daughter my age and her mom). However my situation is a little different because I have a lot of new things happening in the next 3 months that are forcing me to look forward: - I am graduating college - I am moving to Portland (from Michigan) with no friends or family - I am going skydiving So having things to look forward to has definitely helped. If you are in the middle of healing, I would definitely recommend creating something to look forward to. AKA- make a skydiving appointment and face all those fears; nothing more liberating than that Good luck and keep posting! We're all here for you :-)
Recommended Posts