Sp1tfire Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 Hello everyone, I met a woman who is 28 and im 17. She is very beautiful and married to someone who she rather likes, but like all marriages theres problems. He doesn't give her nessicarily all the attention she wants. When we met she seemed to be faithful. Our friendship turned into something romantic somehow and she supposedly fell in love with me and I fell in love with her. We have slept together a few times and as bad as I felt knowing she was being unfaithful I could not resist her. After only a few times of sleeping together we continued to go on dates but never slept together after that. Things with her marriage have improved and she has cast me off to the side, rejecting me and no longer wanting to be anything romantic. Is it wrong that I feel used and heart broken? am I a bad person for still loving her? I want to see her happy and satisfied. She deserves to be happy but it seems like its at a cost to me emotionally. We still talk, but everytime I bring up the subject of her pushing me away she calls me selfish. I don't understand why she loved me a few weeks ago but now I am no longer someone she loves and why she avoids having that conversation with me. If anyone has any advice or suggestions I would appreciate it greatly. Thanks
AttillatheHun Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 WOW.... Sorry, but this is a situation where neither you nor the said woman did the right thing. I hate to be blunt, but as soon as you found she was married, you should have left it at that. Doesn't matter if she was having marriage problems. You did the wrong thing by pushing this knowledge aside. Having said that, she also did the wrong thing, for highly obvious reasons. Again, I hate to be blunt, but you have to look at it literally- you are 17, she is 28. Do you really think she would expect to find a deep, emotional and meaningful attachment to someone of your age? But who knows, I could be wrong. But from what you described, it sounds as if she used you to satisfy her sexual needs. She may have cast you aside, but to no great loss in the long run. Ironically, the 28 old is probably the most immature character in this whole saga, having betrayed a marriage for the sake of satisfying her sexual urges. It may hurt to read this, but trust me when I say you're better off without her. No offence but I hope, for your sake, that the husband doesn't find out. Perhaps you will learn the hard way what it means to play with fire...
lkjh Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 Dude she never loved you she just wanted some action on the side. This is going to shock you but the cheating immature lady actually lied to you Do the right thing for once and tell her H. You won't be her last affair
Eeyore79 Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 It's not wrong for you to feel used and heartbroken, because she did use you. You need to cut all contact with her, and give yourself time to get over and meet a girl of your own age. In future, stay well away if someone is married - you should only be dating single women, you don't want the hassle that comes with being someone's bit on the side.
zetkin Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 WOW.... Sorry, but this is a situation where neither you nor the said woman did the right thing. I hate to be blunt, but as soon as you found she was married, you should have left it at that. Doesn't matter if she was having marriage problems. You did the wrong thing by pushing this knowledge aside. Having said that, she also did the wrong thing, for highly obvious reasons. Again, I hate to be blunt, but you have to look at it literally- you are 17, she is 28. Do you really think she would expect to find a deep, emotional and meaningful attachment to someone of your age? But who knows, I could be wrong. But from what you described, it sounds as if she used you to satisfy her sexual needs. She may have cast you aside, but to no great loss in the long run. Ironically, the 28 old is probably the most immature character in this whole saga, having betrayed a marriage for the sake of satisfying her sexual urges. It may hurt to read this, but trust me when I say you're better off without her. No offence but I hope, for your sake, that the husband doesn't find out. Perhaps you will learn the hard way what it means to play with fire... Totally agree. You are not the one to blame in this situation, it is absolutely normal making mistakes at 17. But the woman you are talking about, what was she thinking (if she was)...
Author Sp1tfire Posted April 18, 2010 Author Posted April 18, 2010 I understand where i am to blame. I feel bad for persuing someone who was already in a commitment. At first it was just comforting her because of her faulty relationship, then it turned into something were she leaned on me for emotional support. In my defense, she pushed the relationship of us on, I actually encouraged her to work things out...She helped me through my emotional distresses and we kind of helped eachother until something romantic formed. I thought that maybe shed see I treated her better then her husband and maybe decide to committ with me instead of him. Obviously a foolish and childish mistake for thinking someone as beautiful as her could fall for someone as young as myself. I feel very depressed as I have lost almost everyone who has been close to me including my dad who died when I was 16. Obviously me coming to a website to talk about this problem almost proves the fact I have no one.
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 Is it wrong that I feel used and heart broken? am I a bad person for still loving her? It is not wrong to feel used and heartbroken, nor are you a bad person for loving her. Eventually the dust will clear, you will move on and you will see that she was a predator - nothing more, nothing less. Use this as a lesson as to what types of women to avoid.
eraser Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 Is it wrong that I feel used and heart broken? No, you feel used because you were. You feel heartbroken because she played on your emotions to use you. am I a bad person for still loving her? The question is: are you going to allow her to continue hurting you? You said that she doesn't receive the attention she craves within her marriage. She gets that attention from you, along with sex and a (one-sided) emotional relationship. How is that fair to you? I don't understand why she loved me a few weeks ago but now I am no longer someone she loves and why she avoids having that conversation with me. She didn't love you. Obviously a foolish and childish mistake for thinking someone as beautiful as her could fall for someone as young as myself. Also, what is this crap? You've mentioned her beauty a couple of times now. Her looks have nothing to do with the way she treated you.
seibert253 Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 Hate to say it dude, but everything you've described runs straight out of the pedophile playbook. She wouldn't happen to be your teacher would she? Besides, depending on what state you're living in, she could be committing multiple felonies. Do you really want to be in front of a courtroom of people having to describe your most intiment details. You know better, and you know this is wrong. It will self destruct and you will be caught in the middle. Plus this could be very detrimental to your health and well being WHEN her husband finds out. Don't walk, run away from this one.
troggleputty Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 Dude, I agree with your ex-girlfriend. You are being selfish. A 28 year old hottie banged a 17 year old kid a few times, you should be grateful. You know she's married, therefore, what you both did was wrong; you have no right to expect anything further from her. That you do is pure selfishness on your part. You don't love her, you're only 17, she's 28 and married. You just want some more sex with her. Who are you trying to persuade otherwise? She cut off the sex because what she was doing with you, was for her own reason. Who knows? Maybe she found out her h had an affair on her and you were her revenge affair. The best thing you could do is forget about her, get a new gf closer to your age, and start banging the new one. You will forget all about this older woman. You pretended to be a man by screwing a 28 year old married lady, now it's time to act like a man. Dry off your tears boy and move on. This well has run dry.
bananarama1 Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 damn this is romantic.. reminds me of that movie w/ nicole kidman in "to die for" darn..these romantic liaisons..
jnj express Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 You never had a chance---she is a skank for cheating on her H., but she sure doesn't want her H. to find out cuz he is liable to dump her, and you sure can't take care of her----come on you need to look at the reality of this. Also in some states her having sex with you is known as stat. rape. I am surprised she talks to you at all----she has put herself in harms way big time by messing with you and she knows it!!!!!
Dexter Morgan Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 Hello everyone, I met a woman who is 28 and im 17. She is very beautiful and married to someone who she rather likes, but like all marriages theres problems. He doesn't give her nessicarily all the attention she wants. so what are you saying? that you are happy to be a man that fullfills married women? got a newsflash for you.....relationships calm down and NOBODY is can fullfill EVERY need of someone else. When we met she seemed to be faithful. Our friendship turned into something romantic somehow and she supposedly fell in love with me and I fell in love with her. well ok then. both of you go to her husband, tell him you are both in love, and that she wants a divorce. We have slept together a few times and as bad as I felt knowing she was being unfaithful I could not resist her. hey, thats what you just have to accept....that she is a cheater, if that is what you are in love with, then good luck. After only a few times of sleeping together we continued to go on dates but never slept together after that. Things with her marriage have improved and she has cast me off to the side, rejecting me and no longer wanting to be anything romantic. or is it that she lied and her marriage wasn't bad at all, she just isn't a faithful person and gets bored being with the same person for too awful long? I think she lied to you to get a piece of a young guy, and when the novelty wore off, you were history. Is it wrong that I feel used and heart broken? yes. you should have known better. and since you are the interloper, sorry to say, your feelings on everything in this situation aren't really of any concern. What matters is the husband that she was betraying. am I a bad person for still loving her? not for loving her no. just foolish. I want to see her happy and satisfied. only way that will happen is if she wasn't married.....no matter how much attention she gets, she will probably always want someone else for the excitement of being with someone new. She deserves to be happy since she is a cheater, no.....not really. but it seems like its at a cost to me emotionally. We still talk, but everytime I bring up the subject of her pushing me away she calls me selfish. so she cheats on her husband, and YOU are the selfish one here? no doubt you are, but she is a hypocrite for saying it. pot, kettle, black. I don't understand why she loved me a few weeks ago but now I am no longer someone she loves and why she avoids having that conversation with me. If anyone has any advice or suggestions I would appreciate it greatly. Thanks yes, rat her out to her husband. he deserves to know what kind of "woman" he is married to and what she has been doing behind her back. she took a vow to "forsake all others"....she broke that vow. he deserves to know. and if you don't want to do it face to face, like a man, then send an anonymous letter....its the chicken way out, but at least an unsuspecting husband will have the truth about "what" he is married to.
Dexter Morgan Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 Hate to say it dude, but everything you've described runs straight out of the pedophile playbook. and this is another thing to consider. maybe she realized if she was found out she could spend some time in jail(although I think in some states a minor is considered 16 and under...not sure). I tell you what, if my XW would have messed around with a minor, I definitely would have used it in court to get custody of my kids. I hope this very fact, however, wouldn't deter him from ratting her out to her husband if that is something he is considering.
Tommy's Girl Posted April 24, 2010 Posted April 24, 2010 Do the right thing for once and tell her H. You won't be her last affair I don't agree with this at all. Do not tell her husband. It's over. It's their business now. Telling him would be a selfish act on your part. Who knows what she's already told him or what they have gone through. Not your place at all to tell H.
D-Lish Posted April 24, 2010 Posted April 24, 2010 She knew what she was doing, at 17- you have a pass.
Green Posted April 24, 2010 Posted April 24, 2010 You need to get over this woman. YES she is taking advantage of you. If being 28 wasn't bad enough she is also married... For the love of god if you have parents tell them about this.
jnj express Posted April 24, 2010 Posted April 24, 2010 How is it that a 28 yr old woman spends this amount of time with a 17 yr old boy. You could not have met in a bar, or any type of meat market. If she is your teacher, she surely, at least I hope, gets canned, and dumped in jail for violating what teachers are supposed to be. No matter what she sure isn't much as a role model.
lkjh Posted April 24, 2010 Posted April 24, 2010 I don't agree with this at all. Do not tell her husband. It's over. It's their business now. Telling him would be a selfish act on your part. Who knows what she's already told him or what they have gone through. Not your place at all to tell H. First off he is now apart of their business because he decided to bang the guys wife. Sleeping with his wife for his own selfish reasons was the selfish part, being honest would not be selfish. Running and hiding would be. If you choose to involve yourself in someone else's marriage than it is your place to tell. Since you like throwing out hypotheticals like "what if she already told him", I have one for you, what if she cheats again and gives her H AIDS? This kid is in a position to help this guy know who he is married to.
Dexter Morgan Posted April 28, 2010 Posted April 28, 2010 She knew what she was doing, at 17- you have a pass. no, he doesn't have a pass just because he is 17.
jnj express Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 Hey Sp1t---what's happening with your situation---give us an update, or are you out trying to find other older married women, to help wreck their families.
lifeasiknowit Posted April 29, 2010 Posted April 29, 2010 Hey Sp1t---what's happening with your situation---give us an update, or are you out trying to find other older married women, to help wreck their families. Let's not forget that it takes two to tango, so I wouldn't hold all the responsibility on the 17 yr old. She was there too.
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