confusedgirl85 Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 Hello, i really need your advice people. So there's this guy who i've been seeing for a while now. We get along very well, but at the same time we're sooo different. My friends and coworkers know him but they ALL agree that he's not good for me and that i should stop right away any relation with him. (Based on his past with a baby, ex girlfriend, drinking problem, too much party, and playing around with othee women). He didnt catch my attention when we met, and now after treating him for quite a time now (about 6 months or more) i see he is good guy who has changed completely (i assume), and who loves and wants to be with me. Im not sure whether to believe him, or believe all the other people (even his best friends) who tell me to get away from him, that he's no good for me. Should i listen to them? Dont say listen to your heart 'cause im not sure what to do... my heart wants to be with him, but at the same time no because of all the things i've heard from him.
Kaplan Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 It's probably possible that someone can change, but they just aren't likely to. I guess you have to decide whether or not you know your guy that much better than your friends do. As a guy, I can assure you most guys are bad news. Even the ones without warning labels.
marsle85 Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 Girl. This isn't even a question. Say GOODBYE. A person's track record says a HUGE deal about them. I suggest you follow your gut. Your gut NEVER lies. Ignore your heart on this matter- usually emotions get overwhelming and can overpower the small, stern voice of your gut. The gut is a primal, protective mechanism in humans. It's trying to save you from heartbreak. Listen to it. You're a lot smarter than you think... you just have to pause, and listen.
Bejita463 Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 He didnt catch my attention when we met, and now after treating him for quite a time now (about 6 months or more) i see he is good guy who has changed completely (i assume), and who loves and wants to be with me. i see he is good guy who has changed completely (i assume), and who loves and wants to be with me. good guy who has changed completely (i assume) Good guys don't NEED to change. If he needed to change to be a good guy, there's an issue there regardless of whether or not the change is genuine. Generally speaking, it is less probable that such a significant alteration in behavior is genuine than that it is not.
cupcake2010 Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 Trust is a big thing with me. If I can't trust someone then I can't be with that person. The past is his past, and the future is for the both of you to live and learn...but most of all to enjoy.
mortensorchid Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 The past is the past for all of us. Change? Well no not really, none of us change, we just control our behaviors be they good or bad. His alcohol, fidelity, etc. problems are just that, problems. Do you want to deal with it? Hopefully the answer is no, because life is dramatic enough without having to deal with someone else's drama. If your friends / coworkers did not care about you, they wouldn't say something. If it's not about jealousy (which it doesn't sound like) you should consider what they say. As to if you are to stay with this person, you're an adult and you make your own choices. They can't all be wrong, can they?
lsb Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 I was in the same position as you. I even posted on a message board and asked the same question. Mostly everyone told me that I should run far away from him. And they were right. The fact that even his own friends are telling you to stay away is a huge obvious sign.
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