romer Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 I have been reading so many posts about exes staying in contact, creating false hope...I guess I should be thankful that mine has not. As much as I feel that I want him back, I know that this time is mine to heal. Taking him back would just put off the pain that is inevitable. I think I have finally accepted that he is gone. I am sticking to the NC rules no matter what...I feel hopeful today for the first time since the break-up.
The Paper Knight Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 Also be thankful for the experience of the breakup, as this has given you a chance to feel human.
scshlady Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 It gives me hope when I read of progress like yours -- I won't be in this place forever. Good for you!
deux ex machina Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 I have been reading so many posts about exes staying in contact, creating false hope...I guess I should be thankful that mine has not. As much as I feel that I want him back, I know that this time is mine to heal. Taking him back would just put off the pain that is inevitable. I think I have finally accepted that he is gone. I am sticking to the NC rules no matter what...I feel hopeful today for the first time since the break-up. I love that optimism. One of the reasons it has taken me forever is due to some sort of connection or other for the longest time. It has made me quiet, but according to my therapist it's necessary to take one's time - so just know that while ups and downs occur in the process, ultimately the time taken to get back to you and healing correctly, not maladaptively, will be time well-invested. You are exactly right when you say it would just have delayed the inevitable...it definitely would've been much more exhausting on every level. There are always wonderful things to see, just have to open our eyes a little sometimes. Great post.
Author romer Posted April 19, 2010 Author Posted April 19, 2010 Thank you. Really, we have no choice but to move on. In my situation, it feels like a death. This person was in my life every day for 1.5 years, and now is isn't. Not my choice, but I have to deal with the aftershock. It's a grieving process. And not only am I grieving over this, but my mother died back in January, so I am at my lowest right now but am feeling hopeful and almost peaceful now. The hurt is still there, but I've accepted that he is not coming back into my life.
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