LK30 Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 Urgh - I have good days and bad days since i split with my ex 3 months ago. However, she always gets to me on weekends! I always think 'bet she's out clubbing, meeting men and never thinks about me.' Urgh -surely i should be over this but every saturday (like it is now!) i dwell on it. So miss her as this would be the time we'd be together - probably curled up on sofa watching a DVD. Anyone thing i'm sad? I've done NC and still doing it, but can't see a day on the horizon where i wont think of her at all. Sometimes wish we'd get back together so i can take this feeling away - it's neverending! :-(
cmichael16 Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 Urgh - I have good days and bad days since i split with my ex 3 months ago. However, she always gets to me on weekends! I always think 'bet she's out clubbing, meeting men and never thinks about me.' Urgh -surely i should be over this but every saturday (like it is now!) i dwell on it. So miss her as this would be the time we'd be together - probably curled up on sofa watching a DVD. Anyone thing i'm sad? I've done NC and still doing it, but can't see a day on the horizon where i wont think of her at all. Sometimes wish we'd get back together so i can take this feeling away - it's neverending! :-( Boy do I ever know that feeling, tomorrow is 2 months from the breakup... Almost every sunday no matter what I am doing I think of her and it gets me dooooown. Sunday used to be our day, she had to work saturdays and sat night we would go out and then sunday whatever we wanted. So starting about now through sunday night is very very hard. Worst part is she has started texting me with stupid stuff, so Im not NC, i am LC, as if she asks how im doing its a one word response 3 hours later with a simple "fine" no matter how bad off I am. then there are the calls, I actually changed my GV greeting for her to go strait to VM and leave a message. She calls about 4 times a week and almost every vm is one word "wow". this is after her begging me to be friends. Do I want her back, yes absolutely without a doubt. Do I want her back on her terms, hellllll no. So stick with it, find someone to go have beers with, have fun. it will ease the pain.
TLH Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 Wow. I feel the exact same way. This is my first weekend without by ex. And it hurts like hell since the weekends were always "our" time. However, I have resisted the urge to contact him, which is definitely good. Never thought I would say this but only one more day till Monday.... Hang in there! You are not alone!
SadKitty78 Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 5 days post breakup. first weekend not spent with each other in almost 7 month's time! i'm dying here! mixed with boredom, anxiety, loneliness, and not wanting to hang out with friends! the thought of going out and having to talk to other people, esp. guys is so unappealing.
cmichael16 Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 5 days post breakup. first weekend not spent with each other in almost 7 month's time! i'm dying here! mixed with boredom, anxiety, loneliness, and not wanting to hang out with friends! the thought of going out and having to talk to other people, esp. guys is so unappealing. Find a new or revive an old hobby. In the 2 and a half years my ex and i were together I maybe played 2 hours of video games. Now, they kill boredome, anxiety and bring peace. Its been 2 months for me and I am still not ready to be out dating again. I have had to find other things to do. It helps I promise.
SadKitty78 Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 Find a new or revive an old hobby. In the 2 and a half years my ex and i were together I maybe played 2 hours of video games. Now, they kill boredome, anxiety and bring peace. Its been 2 months for me and I am still not ready to be out dating again. I have had to find other things to do. It helps I promise. Thanks for the advice! I've been down this road before, but for some reason when it happens, it feels as if it's the first time your heart's been ripped out of your chest and you don't even know what to do with yourself and your emotions anymore. Why is it we forget about the last time it happened and we were able to survive it and move on (only to get heartbroken again)? Yes, I'll find something to keep my mind off of the relationship and off of him, and all the things we did together. Sounds like you are doing pretty well 2 months on.
cmichael16 Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 Thanks for the advice! I've been down this road before, but for some reason when it happens, it feels as if it's the first time your heart's been ripped out of your chest and you don't even know what to do with yourself and your emotions anymore. Why is it we forget about the last time it happened and we were able to survive it and move on (only to get heartbroken again)? Yes, I'll find something to keep my mind off of the relationship and off of him, and all the things we did together. Sounds like you are doing pretty well 2 months on. Thanks, but I am really not... part of the problem is I cant change my number (its tied to my desk phone at work, and tied to my business, sigh) and every time I go NC she starts texting me constantly... but she doesnt want to be with me, she wants to be friends, and I have told her so many times, I cant be friends, I want to be so much more. I dont respond to her texts most times. But it boils down to just doing stuff to get her off my mind. like tomorrow I have plans to go golfing, $45 for golf all you want sundays. its worth the expense and the sore arms the next day to get her off my mind. Today I worked in the yard till it got too windy.
SadKitty78 Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 Thanks, but I am really not... part of the problem is I cant change my number (its tied to my desk phone at work, and tied to my business, sigh) and every time I go NC she starts texting me constantly... but she doesnt want to be with me, she wants to be friends, and I have told her so many times, I cant be friends, I want to be so much more. I dont respond to her texts most times. But it boils down to just doing stuff to get her off my mind. like tomorrow I have plans to go golfing, $45 for golf all you want sundays. its worth the expense and the sore arms the next day to get her off my mind. Today I worked in the yard till it got too windy. You must do NC if you can! You can block her number, maybe? Or put a DO NOT READ title for her number so when she texts you don't even look? I told my ex I wanted time and space to move on, but I have some items still at his house and we had arranged for pickup, but I don't even want to come by, even if it's when he's not home to retrieve it from his front door. I told him just to keep it for me if he can or just dump it. Seriously, willing to let some stuff go because it's too hard. I just can't help NOT looking at his FB page or reading a text he sent last night asking if I'd cashed the check the army sent me for some army related events I accompanied him to. I'm glad you're keeping busy. It's such a beautiful day today and all I can really do is listen to music and sulk around the house! Sigh!
keith_m Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 I know how you feel too. I'm basically two and a half months past the break up. Week days are ok- everyone is working and things are happening. Weekends are hell- because I am on my own and although I can work- more recently the anxiety has really got to me. My girl was my life- and the weekends were our time for closeness and fun. I now understand the term 'LC'.... well it seems like that is what I'm in. I just did 6 days of NC but gave in. I strongly get the idea that my ex will be having an ok time of it. She is probably socialing and doing stuff while I'm stuck in limbotic hell!.....................so my heart goes out to you.
cmichael16 Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 If you don't mind, what is LC? Thanks! Limited or Little Contact. She started texting me today actually, I came right out and told her, In a few years maybe I can be friends, but for now dont contact me and I wont contact you. She came back with "bye". I bet she texts me by wed. I cant block her till she is off my cell plan (thank god thats coming this week) at that point I would bet money that I wont even have her new number... so it should be good. I plan to send her a letter every once in a while so she knows I still exist. And I am debating on altering my will to take her out, but the only things she gets if I die are my dogs and some random sentimental stuff.
Sassafras Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 You're definitely not alone. This was my third weekend without my ex and it's SO hard. Today has been particularly rough. Now that the weather's nice, I keep thinking of all the things we should be doing, all the things we had planned and yet I'm not there with him. I imagine he's having a blast and isn't missing me and it hurts so much. I know I have to get on with living my life, but I'm having such a hard time letting go.
SadKitty78 Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 You're definitely not alone. This was my third weekend without my ex and it's SO hard. Today has been particularly rough. Now that the weather's nice, I keep thinking of all the things we should be doing, all the things we had planned and yet I'm not there with him. I imagine he's having a blast and isn't missing me and it hurts so much. I know I have to get on with living my life, but I'm having such a hard time letting go. First weekend here and the weather is gorgeous! We had made plans for hiking, trips to the beach, weekend trips, and it just occurred to me none of it will ever happen! I too am imagining him moving on, having a great time, possibly with a new girl. I know 6 days post breakup he probably isn't with anyone yet, but I just can't help thinking that way! Stay strong!
Sassafras Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 First weekend here and the weather is gorgeous! We had made plans for hiking, trips to the beach, weekend trips, and it just occurred to me none of it will ever happen! I too am imagining him moving on, having a great time, possibly with a new girl. I know 6 days post breakup he probably isn't with anyone yet, but I just can't help thinking that way! Stay strong! You stay strong too, SadKitty! Hugs..
Author LK30 Posted April 19, 2010 Author Posted April 19, 2010 Wow sounds like many of us are finding the same thing! I almost enjoy going to work now just to take my mind off things, and almost dreading the nice weather because it was what i told my ex i was so looking forward to so we could go out, go down the beach, picnics et etc! Now I'll be on my own! I'm no Brad Pitt - so this could be a long lonely summer lol!!
EthanH Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 I know exactly how you are feeling. But for me, it is the fact that during the week, you are busy, so you don't have to think about it, you don't have time. I am fine when I'm doing my own thing. But when I have time on my own, it is usually when I'm on a train, I really miss her. This is the hardest thing that has ever happened to me and I'm really struggling...
Denny Crane Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 i know how you guys all feel. me and my ex broke up a week ago today. it sucks and i still miss her and think about her everyday. we were so close over the 9 months we dated. we would hang out almost everyday and now nothing. i didnt speak to her at all last week and it was horrible. most of the time i thought she couldnt have cared and didnt miss me at all. saturday was prom, i went with another date trying to move on. she was there, saw me dancing with my date and left the dance crying. dont give up hope, they are still thinking off you. at this point, im trying to move on. keep busy, especially on the weekends. go out with friends, party/get drunk, stay busy. i personally like to work out. just keep your mind off her and if she really wants you back she'll come looking for you. also try just texting or talking to other girls even if they're just friends. talking to other women makes you feel tons better and will help you realize that there are other chicks out there and will help you forget about her. good luck brother, im in the same boat. my ex liked to party. just have fun and live it up, party too. make her wonder what you are doing on the week ends.
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