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I'm 25 years young, still maturing, etc, etc... and I'm 100% done dating. Single

bananaboat11

By bananaboat11
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bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

Posted
Posted

for life.

 

I was in last night after 'bonking' (being carb depleted from an INTENSE workout) and my body hurting so badly... I crashed on my futon until I had enough energy to go ahead and shower... (as gross as that sounds).

 

In this time, I felt I had plenty of time to think semi-rationally. :rolleyes:

 

It's been 6+ months since I was burned by a girl after her 4.5 month rebound with me... haven't heard from her and don't expect to. I'm seemingly healing... slowly, but surely. 5 months ago, I grew my hair out and dyed it black to make an external change hoping I'd find some new meaning... clearly hiding from myself. I'd say I'm coming back to me.

 

I have so much positive going for me... I am trying not to rebuke a natural way of life. As men, we need women just as much as they need us. Anyone who believes otherwise is telling themselves a fib...

 

I must've done something right in the dating world b/c I've had my two LTR ex-girlfriends come back to ME. One I dumped. One was a bad breakup that was mutual over a religion issue.

 

I know future women will see me being friends with my exes a threat... but I find that a sign of insecurity on the future woman's part.

 

I'm a decent human being who is in the right place in his life... I've dated here and there since my recent burn. Some good... some bad. I'm not usually afraid to tell it as is... I almost lost a good girl because of that, but she realized how right I was about one of my opinions. Now she's back, but telling another one how it was (ie, didn't sugar coat reality).. she's running her mouth.

 

I thought to myself... dating. is. just. a. stupid. game. how much I spend should not be the deciding factor if a woman wants to be with me. I hate going around places getting the suspicious feeling I'm being observed by other women... and/or being 'checked out'... but I ignore it and write it off. Why? I just don't care. I don't want to be alone... I enjoy the companionship of a woman... ie the physical... emotional... intellectual... etc... but, I just don't want to play.

 

I find we're all a product of a terrible circumstance. Somewhere along the history timeline... someone ****ed up. We live in the hookup generation/age... and that's not me. that's not what I want. I want something meaningful to share with someone who will reciprocate everything I give to her.

 

I just can't find it anymore. I met a lesbian who shares the same values/ideals (and we've talked about this), but she doesn't want the physical and/or the title with ME... b/c she's into women... :lmao:

 

If only I had a vagina?

 

Yeah. I'm confident I'm done dating for awhile. I'm a PhD candidate... I think I'll spend my time being a cool nerd and immersing myself in my work. :love:

Rorschach Established Member

Rorschach

Posted
Posted

I'm glad I'm not one of these really deep thinkers. It seems like alot of work to me. Hey cool something I like *runs off after shinies*

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bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

Posted
  • Author
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I'm glad I'm not one of these really deep thinkers. It seems like alot of work to me. Hey cool something I like *runs off after shinies*

 

 

Shiny things! :laugh::laugh:

dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

Posted
Posted
for life.

 

I was in last night after 'bonking' (being carb depleted from an INTENSE workout) and my body hurting so badly... I crashed on my futon until I had enough energy to go ahead and shower... (as gross as that sounds).

 

In this time, I felt I had plenty of time to think semi-rationally. :rolleyes:

 

It's been 6+ months since I was burned by a girl after her 4.5 month rebound with me... haven't heard from her and don't expect to. I'm seemingly healing... slowly, but surely. 5 months ago, I grew my hair out and dyed it black to make an external change hoping I'd find some new meaning... clearly hiding from myself. I'd say I'm coming back to me.

 

I have so much positive going for me... I am trying not to rebuke a natural way of life. As men, we need women just as much as they need us. Anyone who believes otherwise is telling themselves a fib...

 

I must've done something right in the dating world b/c I've had my two LTR ex-girlfriends come back to ME. One I dumped. One was a bad breakup that was mutual over a religion issue.

 

I know future women will see me being friends with my exes a threat... but I find that a sign of insecurity on the future woman's part.

 

I'm a decent human being who is in the right place in his life... I've dated here and there since my recent burn. Some good... some bad. I'm not usually afraid to tell it as is... I almost lost a good girl because of that, but she realized how right I was about one of my opinions. Now she's back, but telling another one how it was (ie, didn't sugar coat reality).. she's running her mouth.

 

I thought to myself... dating. is. just. a. stupid. game. how much I spend should not be the deciding factor if a woman wants to be with me. I hate going around places getting the suspicious feeling I'm being observed by other women... and/or being 'checked out'... but I ignore it and write it off. Why? I just don't care. I don't want to be alone... I enjoy the companionship of a woman... ie the physical... emotional... intellectual... etc... but, I just don't want to play.

 

I find we're all a product of a terrible circumstance. Somewhere along the history timeline... someone ****ed up. We live in the hookup generation/age... and that's not me. that's not what I want. I want something meaningful to share with someone who will reciprocate everything I give to her.

 

I just can't find it anymore. I met a lesbian who shares the same values/ideals (and we've talked about this), but she doesn't want the physical and/or the title with ME... b/c she's into women... :lmao:

 

If only I had a vagina?

 

Yeah. I'm confident I'm done dating for awhile. I'm a PhD candidate... I think I'll spend my time being a cool nerd and immersing myself in my work. :love:

 

i hear you! This hook-up crap has really wrecked everything.

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bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

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i hear you! This hook-up crap has really wrecked everything.

 

I find it to be disturbing.

dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

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I find it to be disturbing.

 

It is like no one has any respect for anyone anymore. People are just drug that you use to get yourself high or if you want attention. It is really sad. You hear so many relationships split because "I am just not happy anymore." Like the other person/relationship is responsible for your personal happiness. People today just suck. I am 27. I have been married for four years and it feels like everyone is having a sexual relationship but me. I am a super-loyal, kind spouse and it totally doesn't work in today's society where people trade each other in year-to-year week-to-week. I feel so sorry for my daughter. The guys the are going to be in her generation are really going to suck with the role-models she has been given.

 

Wow. That was a really disjointed rant.

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bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

Posted
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It is like no one has any respect for anyone anymore. People are just drug that you use to get yourself high or if you want attention. It is really sad. You hear so many relationships split because "I am just not happy anymore." Like the other person/relationship is responsible for your personal happiness. People today just suck. I am 27. I have been married for four years and it feels like everyone is having a sexual relationship but me. I am a super-loyal, kind spouse and it totally doesn't work in today's society where people trade each other in year-to-year week-to-week. I feel so sorry for my daughter. The guys the are going to be in her generation are really going to suck with the role-models she has been given.

 

Wow. That was a really disjointed rant.

 

 

I feel you.

 

I also fear I'm going to be alone forever b/c I will not settle for a woman's sex object. I have before... it does not feel good afterwards. I'm tired of picking up the pieces of my heart from the floor.

Rorschach Established Member

Rorschach

Posted
Posted

Did you know that if two blackholes were to ever meet, they would not cancel each other out like ripples in a pond but feed on each other become something deeper and blacker than before?

dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

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Did you know that if two blackholes were to ever meet, they would not cancel each other out like ripples in a pond but feed on each other become something deeper and blacker than before?

 

haha.

 

Maybe this is just a ranty day.....

dreamingoftigers Established Member

dreamingoftigers

Posted
Posted
I feel you.

 

I also fear I'm going to be alone forever b/c I will not settle for a woman's sex object. I have before... it does not feel good afterwards. I'm tired of picking up the pieces of my heart from the floor.

 

It is nice to know that a guy feels this way too, maybe someday I might get that in my life :)

Rorschach Established Member

Rorschach

Posted
Posted

I can understand that, its why i'm trying to lighten the mood. I find that I could talk until I was blue in the face about this that or the other positive things I find in the world, and 99% of it would be ignored. Or I can make bad jokes about shinies and blackholes and make somebody out there smile, and do a world more good.

marsle85 Established Member

marsle85

Posted
Posted

Everything will work out, life is cyclicle, you inevitably WILL find someone very special and look back to this moment like it's nothing.

 

I feel like people spend more time daydreaming what their dream soul mate will be like, look like, and act like... than working on themselves. Start investing in the person your soul mate (whenever that comes) will love. Because hopefully, she's doing the same thing. :love:

eraser Established Member

eraser

Posted
Posted
I don't want to be alone... I enjoy the companionship of a woman... ie the physical... emotional... intellectual... etc... but, I just don't want to play.

 

I find we're all a product of a terrible circumstance. Somewhere along the history timeline... someone ****ed up. We live in the hookup generation/age... and that's not me. that's not what I want. I want something meaningful to share with someone who will reciprocate everything I give to her.

 

Pretty much in the same boat as you. I would love a fully reciprocal relationship. But i just don't see it happening ever, really.

  • Author
bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

Posted
  • Author
Posted
Everything will work out, life is cyclicle, you inevitably WILL find someone very special and look back to this moment like it's nothing.

 

I feel like people spend more time daydreaming what their dream soul mate will be like, look like, and act like... than working on themselves. Start investing in the person your soul mate (whenever that comes) will love. Because hopefully, she's doing the same thing. :love:

 

 

I already have been.

 

I'm picking up ballroom dancing / salsa...

 

...I work out 6 days / week (have been consistent for 6+ years now)

 

...I eat healthy...

 

..I'm a year into my PhD candidacy...

 

....I am saving money...

 

...I want to learn to play piano / songwrite (I'm already a dj and love music.. and who knows.. I'd love to write 'her' a lovesong on our wedding day and perform it... heh

 

All I can do is live my life to the fullest. And hope she'll do the same until we meet. And then, together we can enjoy life and all its riches.

marsle85 Established Member

marsle85

Posted
Posted
I already have been.

 

I'm picking up ballroom dancing / salsa...

 

...I work out 6 days / week (have been consistent for 6+ years now)

 

...I eat healthy...

 

..I'm a year into my PhD candidacy...

 

....I am saving money...

 

...I want to learn to play piano / songwrite (I'm already a dj and love music.. and who knows.. I'd love to write 'her' a lovesong on our wedding day and perform it... heh

 

All I can do is live my life to the fullest. And hope she'll do the same until we meet. And then, together we can enjoy life and all its riches.

 

wooooh- PhD for what? Good for you! +1

Arabella Established Member

Arabella

Posted
Posted (edited)

Bananaboat,

 

You're not the only one who feels this way about dating. I'm 26 years old and I don't date. I never have. I also don't do "hook-ups". It's not a religious issue, but a matter of standards. Nevertheless, I've always managed to meet guys, fall in love, and eventually become involved in relationships (in that order).

 

The whole dating thing is just a messed up social game that I have no intent whatsoever of playing. Love will knock on my door just like it has in the past.

 

Don't give up. There are many people who share these values. If you don't want to date, then just don't. All you're missing out on is a whole lot of drama and heartache.

 

Best of luck. :)

 

Arabella

Edited by Arabella
Lakeside_runner Established Member

Lakeside_runner

Posted
Posted

Um... the only thing I've to say is...

 

"Men do not cry. Men do not put. Men jack you in the f***ing jaw and say... thanks for comin' out!"

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bananaboat11 Established Member

bananaboat11

Posted
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wooooh- PhD for what? Good for you! +1

 

Kinesiology... concentration in energy metabolism.. studying type 2 diabetes.

skydiveaddict Established Member

skydiveaddict

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bb11, I've had it with dating also. no more for me either

USMCHokie Established Member

USMCHokie

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bb11, I've had it with dating also. no more for me either

 

 

Me too....

RobM Established Member

RobM

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I didn't know you could get a phd in kinesiology, I took the beginning class in that a couple years ago, it was interesting, I spent most of the class thinking "cool, I've pulled that or torn that or sprained that". Suddenly things made a lot more sense.

 

Good luck.

amymarieca Established Member

amymarieca

Posted
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OP, you are only 25 and way too young to feel this cynical. To be honest, maybe you are the one dwelling on things too much. You were in a 4.5 month relationship and 6 months later you are still upset about it? Maybe you need to find more constructive ways of moving on. I agree that the dating scene is not the greatest, but you can't expect that every girl that crosses your path is going to be marriage material. Just have fun and if someone great comes along, then be happy about it. I think of it this way: every person I date I am either going to break up with or marry, and most likely the "marry" option is not going to be the end result.

mrt336 Established Member

mrt336

Posted
Posted

I feel like people spend more time daydreaming what their dream soul mate will be like, look like, and act like... than working on themselves. Start investing in the person your soul mate (whenever that comes) will love.

 

That's very good advice. I've been guilty of the same thing lately. I recently moved and because of it had to end a relationship and I've been trying too hard to find someone new and interesting. I definitely could invest that time into bettering myself and let life happen. Trying to force it rarely works.

Eeyore79 Established Member

Eeyore79

Posted
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I know future women will see me being friends with my exes a threat... but I find that a sign of insecurity on the future woman's part.

I don't think it is a sign of insecurity. Exes are exes for a reason; why do you want to keep in touch with someone who you don't like enough to continue dating them? As a woman, I wouldn't feel threatened or insecure about you being friends with your exes, I just wouldn't want some woman who my bf had a sexual/emotional relationship with to be rubbed in my face all the time. I don't want to see his past standing in front of me, looking smarter/hotter/richer than me.

 

I'm not usually afraid to tell it as is... I almost lost a good girl because of that, but she realized how right I was about one of my opinions.

If your opinions are unpopular, it's polite to keep them to yourself, no matter how much in the right you may think you are. Not being opinionated and argumentative is merely good manners.

 

I thought to myself... dating. is. just. a. stupid. game. I enjoy the companionship of a woman... ie the physical... emotional... intellectual... etc... but, I just don't want to play.

Not everyone wants to play silly games. Some women are also mature, sensitive individuals who are searching for a lasting relationship. Perhaps such people are fewer in number, given that we live in the "hook-up" generation, as you said, but they are out there. When two decent, easygoing people find one another, no games are needed, they just begin spending their lives together.

 

I don't think you should completely quit dating, just quit dating the wrong sort of people. You just need to filter people a bit better, and learn to pick out the decent people who want meaningful relationships.

Green Established Member

Green

Posted
Posted

Dating is stupid and pointless. When I was a teenager I thought you had to label things and ask girls out on "DATES" and use magic words like "I Like you" and questions like "whats your phone number?"

 

The real world is all about being geuine and finding a way to make your journey through life better. Having a girlfriend makes life better in the present. When we go to a theme park or out to dinner I don't necesarily think of it as dating but having fun. The sex is the best times I ever had.

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