zetkin Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 I am very depressed all the time and I cry for no reason. I was like that about a year and a half ago too. Every evening I would come into the bathroom and I just go off into hysterics for about 10-15 minutes, then I pull myself together, wipe away the tears and go to bed. Sometimes I then cry in the bed too. Today I did it again. But then I had a reason – my life had totally changed, better to say everything I was used to was destroyed. I broke up with my boyfriend and lost contact with most people I considered friends. I also totally changed my life goals, and I didn’t really know if the new ones were feasible at all. And it was winter. Winters are always hard for me. This time it is absolutely different. Everything seems totally fine, at least on the outside. I have normal job and I am in really good terms with my colleges and boss. And with my parents too. I have also achieved my goal – but I didn’t feel happiness or relief. Because I feel that it’s not the end, but only a new start and I have no idea what to do next, and where to head. Well, the only thing missing is I don’t have any relationship – but that is my choice, that is because I don’t like anyone. It’s spring and I see happy people everywhere, everyone is happy in his own manner. And I then think “why can’t I be happy? what’s wrong with me?” Oh, and also I have no one to talk about it to. My best friend is my mom, but I can’t tell her this crap, because she thinks I am fine and strong and smart and she is really happy and proud of me and not worried about me any more. And I don’t want to worry her. I know she would take it too close to heart. I have only two close friends but they both live far away and we only see each other like twice a year. We talk on the internet often, but all they can tell me – stop this, you are so smart and successful and beautiful and you have great prospects and so on, you’ll do a good career and find a perfect man and bla-bla-bla… But it doesn’t help. What is wrong? I can’t figure out… I feel so insecure. And one last difference: that previous time I only felt my pain but this time I kind of looked at myself as an onlooker and for the first time I thought that I probably have some mental disorder.
skydiveaddict Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 Sounds like you need to see your Dr. You may have depression. If you do , there are medications and therapy that will get rid of it.
Eve Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 Primarily I think that you are suffering from isolation. Get yourself down to see a Doctor first and foremost. He or she can help to find someone specifically to help you make further plans to open your life up. Take things one day at a time and try not to be so hard on yourself. *Hugs* Take care, Eve xx
skydiveaddict Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 Believe me you are not going insane! I am already insane and you have none of the symptoms:)
Author zetkin Posted April 18, 2010 Author Posted April 18, 2010 Believe me you are not going insane! I am already insane and you have none of the symptoms:) Oh, thank you very much. I was just in so much pain yesterday and behaved like a loony and my first thought was - that is not normal. But now I am better - and I think it's just because I'm going through some changes and that's too much for my unstable mind))))) Thanks for your concern, guys
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