Tommyzors Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 So first person here on LS, been looking around ever since my heart break and wanted to share my story and get some advice. Around October of last year, I met this girl who I was instantly attracted to. And through our mutual friends we got closer and closer and finally dated. We both fell hard for each other in a rather quick time and everything was better than great. We both told each other how we felt, how we thought that this was going to be it. But about a month ago she found a little side job babysitting for her friend's nephew, and that's where everything changed. Now the person who introduce her to this job has liked her for awhile, and she apparently had a interest for him too before I came in the picture. But I knew the whole time we dated he was after her, and he did stuff that has cross the line. So I lay it down on her, either you can be friends with him and not be with me, or you can be with me and forget about him. She chose me, for about a week, and ends up talking to him again. I thought to myself, you know what I should trust her more than that, so I let it go. Then a few weeks later she broke up with me telling me she lost the feelings. I panicked and begged and begged, only to push her away. Which got us to this point now, we both told our friend NC for a month, and after things have calmed I will do what I have to do to get her back. But she just thought the NC was for me to move on. After the break up, she started doing worse and worse in school. A friend of mine who is close with her family decided to sit her down and tell her. This ex of mine only manages to get mad. To her mind right now, she is free, she don't have to please anybody. While her other friends are stuck with no education, no future, and a dead end job. She refuse to see the world as it is, and lives on the happiness now rather than the future. And a few days ago, I found out that she starting to have feelings for this same guy that we was having problems with the whole time. This dude has dropped out of high school, with no job, drowns himself in alcohol all the time. Now you might be saying we barely dated and that I should move on. I did think about it, and I know exactly why I love her so much. Nothing in life has ever felt as good as being with her, and losing her would be the worst mistake ever. All my friends are telling me to move on because she is too stupid to realize. But to me, I don't want to see her live a bad life when I could have changed everything. I know I can't tell her how to live, and I have no right to. And this is why I'm torn, I want to move on but I can't see her throw away her life like that.
EthanH Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 ok, so I'm just going to give you an honest opinion. Sorry if at sometimes I sound harsh, but I think being honest is the best I can do. I think, first of all, you are still not over her. You have to be aware of that. But you have to stop trying to control her. You were insecure about her and the guy, and in a way, that probably drove her closer to him. You need to realise that although you still care about her, you have to let her go, if she makes a mistake and ends up not doing well in life, then you have to let her do it. I know you care about her but you cannot shadow her forever. What you could do is write to her, email her or something, and just talk about her life, don't mention you as a couple, make it clear to her what your intentions are...do no ask her back in this email or anything like that. If anything, if you tell her you think she needs to get her ambitions back on track, and don't mention your love for her, it will prove to her you care about her and don't just have your needs in mind.
Author Tommyzors Posted April 19, 2010 Author Posted April 19, 2010 I actually found the courage today to tell her that I'm through with everything. I am not going to even pretend to be a friend, and seeing her with somebody else, seeing her life like that. I was going to finally close this chapter, that was until her best friend called and started going crazy on me, telling me who am I to say stuff like that. One thing let to another and now we are in the middle of a heated argument. In my mind she mentally cheated on me with this guy even before we started, and that is why I'm going to finish everything once and for all.
EthanH Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 explain to me what you mean by 'mentally cheated'...
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