jjhart Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 taken me awhile to get over my last relationship, but i have finally met someone new. and she is great, and we have spent some time together, but i want to "officially" take her out to dinner. Here is the problem. She is 24-25, and i am 31. Years from now, this age difference wouldnt even matter. But now, to be honest i am a little apprehensive about it. Guess it depends where she is in life(still partying, etc.). So here is the question, If you have had successful relationships with large age gaps, how big? what stage in life? What age gap made things unsuccesful?
Author jjhart Posted April 17, 2010 Author Posted April 17, 2010 I think when the youngest person is below about 28 or so, you just really have to make a judgment about maturity. Yeah, thats what i am worried about.
iheartlavalamps Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 I don't know what's too much, but my current is 10 years. I'm 20, he's 30. At first, he thought the way you did. He was apprehensive because he's older and ready to settle and get on with his life and was afraid I didn't want a serious man and wanted to go out and party while he just wanted to go home and watch TV. So far, it's working out. We have a lot of fun together, and have lots to talk about. I say give it a shot. It's only 6 or 7 years.
allanworks Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 I think when the youngest person is below about 28 or so, you just really have to make a judgment about maturity. im 27 and "normally wont date any body below my age" i say within 10 years is fine for me its upwards 27-37 .
Eeyore79 Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 It depends more on what life stage you're both at. I dated one guy who was ten years older, and he was youthful and unattached and liked to party, so we were at the same life stage. I dated another guy who was ten years older, and he was divorced with kids - we were at totally different life stages because I resented his commitments and wasn't prepared to be a stepmother. Yet there are other girls my age who already have kids of their own, so maybe they would have been a better match for him. In practice, ten years older is my maximum, though some guys older than that still delude themselves about being able to date a girl of my age, lol. I want kids, so obviously I'm not going to date some old guy who'll be a pensioner before our kids even leave school. I'll date up to five years younger if the guy is mature and has got his life together. But life stage is what it's all about tbh... even a younger guy is too "old" for me if he already has kids.
Author jjhart Posted April 19, 2010 Author Posted April 19, 2010 I guess, I am not going to know until we spend a little time together. If the maturity isnt there, well i am guessing that will be apparent quickly... I hope..... wish i was 5 years younger.
Romance Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 If shes mature that age gap is no big deal right now in my relationship the age gap is 4 years, i am 19 and he is 23. It hasnt caused any problems, with us both being in college. however it causes issue that he can go to the bar and the club and i cannot.
skydiveaddict Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 I've always heard that the "half your age plus seven" rule was the gold standard. So if you're 30 lets say, than half your age is 15. add seven to that =22. No younger than 22.
boogieboy Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 You were spot on when you said "it depends on where she is in life." If you want to settle down and get married, and she does also, then youre good to go. As long as your relationship goals are similar, then you should be good to go. If they arent similar, then you will have issues down the line.
123BeachFan Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 I'd say, take her out on that official dinner date. If you click and you don't feel that there's a generation gap, then the age difference isn't an issue. Really, 6-7 years isn't that much difference.
kiss_andmakeup Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 This is a very conditional thing. My first reaction was that that age gap is nothing (my boyfriend is 33 and I am 22). However it completely depends on the stages both of you are at in life and her maturity. My feeling would be that it's probably fine, 6 years is really no big deal at all. In fact 11 years (as in my case) has proved to be no big deal, some people raise eyebrows but those people have been in the vast minority.
Arasae Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 Age isn't the issue--who she is makes more of a difference. It's all about maturity and where the two of you are in your lives. While at 25, she's more likely to still be a partier, that doesn't mean she necessarily is; I'm 21, but unlike most chicks my age, I don't party very often. It's just the way the cookie crumbles. =) Contrary-wise, the last guy I dated was 32 and had a kid, but that didn't stop him from going out and getting ragingly drunk ALL the time, partying like a rock star, and hit casinos on a regular basis. So.. just a thought! Good luck, ignore the number, ask her out, and just pay attention to who she is as a person for compatibility. Age ain't no thang after we're all legal, methinks, provided they're not old enough to be your folks!
Yandere Posted April 19, 2010 Posted April 19, 2010 I've decided to come out from lurking Hello! In response to this post i'd like to say i'm with someone 10 years younger than me.. i've been in age gap relationships before.. them being 7 years younger than me, 4 years younger, 2 years younger, 7 days younger lol but from what i've found its mostly about compatability.. if you get one well, have similar interests and are both at a similar stage in life.. wanting to settle or wanting to party.. then i say go for it.. follow your heart but always keep a well screwed on head on your shoulders After all, you'll only ever really know if its a good idea if you try it. Good ol' trial and error, hehe.
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