butterflysil Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 ok so i hope i am posting in the right forum. I'll start from the beginning. i have not been in a realtionship in a long while and was ok being single. i do get lonely but i don't really want a boyfriend. when men hit on me i really don't give it much thought and leave it at that. this started in class we are both over 21 he is a liitle younger than me. here is the thing we exchanged numbers which quickly turned flirtaious and sexual. he later told me he had a girlfriend so i asked him to stop flirting. in class we became closer friends from sitting far awya to right next to each other. he texts me about 100 times a day. i really didn't think much of it since he has a girlfriend. well my problem is i have been very frustrated and wanted more of a one time thing. so we were hanging out late last night both drunk and quickly turned into heavy petting. we both started to sober up and stopped than we started talking about random things including his girlfriend. i decided to leave but when i stepped outside i quickly realized i couldn't drive home. so i asked if i could stay allittle longer he seemed very hesitant but allowed me too.i took some pills and soon felt better. but i did something stupid and just got on top of him which he did respond for a second than pushed me off. he said he feels guilty and we should both just call it a night. than he texted me you are a good person. he spent weeks trying to be with me. even told me flat out he had full intentions of just sleeping with me but couldn't pull it off. i just don't understand how a man can try so hard and when it comes time finally give in he rejects me. now i have to see him in class. what went wrong?
allanworks Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 he likes the hunt from what i understand and when he caught you he didnt know what to do.as he knew he was in a relationship that he probable likes being in with the other girl.some men do this to feal better about them selves its discusting to toy with people like that.tell his girl that shes got a loose dog in her yeard and that she should leash him and get him nuttered if need be.
Author butterflysil Posted April 17, 2010 Author Posted April 17, 2010 my problem is that this whole time i'm thinking did i do something wrong?
pureinheart Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 I think he respects you, and is attracted to you, although has unfinished business and is with his GF. It's extremely easy to be caught between two worlds. I'd give him time to decide what he wants...
jthorne Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 my problem is that this whole time i'm thinking did i do something wrong?You knew he had a GF. I'd say that if you did anything wrong, you shouldn't have gotten yourself in a situation to mess around with him in the first place. This is what happens sometimes when alcohol is involved. The fact that he didn't go through with it while drunk tells me he loves the thrill of the chase. After all, if he regretted sleeping with you later, he could have always used the "drunk" excuse. If you want more from the guy, I'd back off and tell him to cut back on the texting, etc. And also no more inappropriate comments while he is in a relationship with someone else. If he does split with his GF, I'd proceed with caution. If you were his GF and found out he was behaving this way, how would you feel? He's not showing respect for either one of you.
allanworks Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 my problem is that this whole time i'm thinking did i do something wrong? you didnt do any thing wrong he led you on.you wouldnt have been in that position if it whernt for him leading you on.thats what makes him a hunter.
whichwayisup Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 You knew he had a GF. I'd say that if you did anything wrong, you shouldn't have gotten yourself in a situation to mess around with him in the first place. I completely agree. You start off saying he has a girlfriend, yet you allowed something to happen. Please don't play the victim here. Sorry to be harsh, but knowing full well he's got a gf, why drink, take pills and be alone with him?
Author butterflysil Posted April 17, 2010 Author Posted April 17, 2010 no i am completely not playing victim here. the pills i took were not drugs it was tylenol for the headache. i just realy am confused of why he didn't follow through. i wasn't looking for a boyfriend he has a girlfriend. i just don't understand why he wasted a long time trying than he just ends up with a conscious. i feel awful about it now. i have never even hung out with a guy with a girlfriend unless we were great friends before they get one. i guess this is to learn that regardless if others do it i shouldn't try it becuse i don't know how to handle it. i feel bad. and honestly even though he has the girlfriend i feel like i did worst than him.
jthorne Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 Well, just chalk it up to lesson learned. Like I said before, if you still want to be friends, you need to set new boundaries and not discuss anything you would not discuss in front of the GF. If you want more than friendship, (which I'd still be weary of) then you should back off while he has a GF. What's done is done. Realize it was a mistake on both sides, and move on.
ADF Posted April 18, 2010 Posted April 18, 2010 What went wrong is that you and this guy met. You don't think texting someone 100 times is abnormal, GF or no GF? And please, lay off the booze and pills. You're going to hurt yourself. Get away from each other.
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