Stephie Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 So I posted about the breakup a while back its almost been a month. In this month I have tried so hard to do the nc thing but we lived together for almost 3 yrs. He came and got all his stuff a week later but since then I have had to text him and ask him if he wanted something he left behind or to trash it. Hes also texts to ask random things like if I want to keep the couch or he needs this or that then it turns into me telling him how all he does is run and blah blah then he fights back with some excuse. The last excuse was although I couldn't ask for better with my son I can't juggle a relationship and him. He said he put us first for so long trying to fix us he put his kid on the back burner. He said it wasn't my fault it was his issue. If you dont know the story its long we had so many bumps in the road we never got a chance to be us I became very sad and was pushing him away although I wasn't doing it on purpose because I still want him back but he got tired of fighting and quit us. I am trying to move on but it is really hard because I love this man with all my heart. He did everything he could to forget about me he lost 30lbs, was drunk for a week straight, cried to me, yelled at me, said it was the hardest thing he has ever had to do but he realized he couldn't make me happy. He tells me I will understand one day that he has put himself in a deep dark place but he still texts random stuff, he comes in our house to borrow the xbox control when I'm home and thats when I ask him to fix stuff which he does without hesitant but he says there is no hope. Why wont he stop we have both agreed several times to stop the contact but theres always something, its so hard because I know I have to stop the contact so I can move on but at the same time I still want to know whats going on and he does too. I still want this so bad but he has said time and time again we bring eachother down but why does he still wanna talk and why does he always responds when I ask something over a text. I don't get it I need to stop the contact but I just want him back, we were getting married next March. Help is he doing this for control?
deux ex machina Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 ...He tells me I will understand one day that he has put himself in a deep dark place but he still texts random stuff, he comes in our house to borrow the xbox control when I'm home and thats when I ask him to fix stuff which he does without hesitant but he says there is no hope. Why wont he stop we have both agreed several times to stop the contact but theres always something, its so hard because I know I have to stop the contact so I can move on but at the same time I still want to know whats going on and he does too. I still want this so bad but he has said time and time again we bring eachother down but why does he still wanna talk and why does he always responds when I ask something over a text. I don't get it I need to stop the contact but I just want him back, we were getting married next March. Help is he doing this for control? I feel for you. I can tell you are suffering. Well. The thing is there are two conflicting forces at work: the compulsion to see each other, vs. knowing that the healthy thing to do is to stop the madness. There really is no way for those two things to coexist and to have any peace in your life. Ever. I do not know why he is doing this. The only thing you can do anything about is what is within your control on your end. The rest is best let go.
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