Chef Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 Hey everyone! So recently, my string of luck has been kind of awkward.....I've been meeting some new girls here and there, and i've gone on a few first dates, but the issue is, I never make it past that. So what i'm here to ask is if there is something here i'm missing that might be scaring away girls? Usually we meet for the first time at spontaneous locations, be it a bar, a sports game, a couple of times it was a customer at the place I work, and sometimes down on my campus. So the first conversation/icebreaker goes well, we get each other's contact info, and talk a bit more before we make any move for a first date. Since I usually believe the first date is best for getting to know someone, I usually avoid the whole movie or play or concert scene, we end up getting dinner and then going for a walk downtown, in a park, going to a sports game, or even doing something chilidish like going to an arcade or bowling alley. Now it usually goes pretty well, i've even been told by a few of the girls it was one of the more fun times they've had in a while. We split off for the night, and a few days later when I try and contact them again (either to just talk, get together, whatever) I get no response or a "who is this again?" like they deleted my number out of their phone or something. So what is it I'm doing wrong here?
Bartender Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 Doesn't sound like you're doing anything wrong at all. It sounds like you might be going after some pretty shallow girls if they're forgetting who you are after a fun filled date such as the ones you're mentioning. The only thing I could think of based on your post is that you might be doing or saying something that's causing you to wind up in the dreaded "friend zone" so maybe reevaluate your actions or what you conversate about during the date. Good Luck
sullysteve Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 "Who is this again?" Wow, that's cold. Sounds like these girls are dating tons of guys, just aren't into you, or you're vastly overestimating how great your dates were.
boogieboy Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 Theres tons of things you could be doing wrong on the first date. If youre like anyone else who doesnt know, youre giving the woman lots of compliments and kissing her ass...maybe. Theres too many things to mention here. Look up PUA (pick up artists) on youtube and check out the psychology behind dating so you can see what works and what doesnt work for you.
Author Chef Posted April 17, 2010 Author Posted April 17, 2010 That's the thing, is I usually don't extremely compliment, kiss her ass, let her win, any of that. I'm not gonna deny that I have done it, but I most definitely don't do it too often (and certainly not on any of the dates that I have gone on in the recent months). I will make a complimenting comment on the girl's choice of dress or hair or something close to the beginning of the date, usually as a good "kick-off" to rebreak that awkward ice that may have built up between our last meeting or conversation, but beyond that it's basic conversation for the rest of the date (usually about sports, the town, us, etc etc). Is there a certain kind of conversation you're supposed to have on a firt date i'm missing? On top of that I don't believe it's me overestimating how good the dates were. I'm just going on if the girl makes a comment. It's not every date that you manage to "wow" a girl enough for her to make a comment. If a girl says that, great, if not, it's just a date, not a relationship. The thing that has been confusing, and frankly annoying, me lately is that yeah, I understand that you take a girl on a date, it wasn't too great or it was pretty bland/average and she doesn't respond back when you try to set up further plans, but what is driving these girls who make a comment about how great the date is, how it's "one of the best" dates they've had in a while, and then turn around and basically cold shoulder you until you give up and delete their number from your cell? Perhaps i'm not being patient enough? I usually end up deleting a number if I make 2 contact attempts with no response.....Too little?
Author Chef Posted April 17, 2010 Author Posted April 17, 2010 It all depends on the date. i've paid in full sometimes, we've split most of the time, and a couple of times the girl has actually paid (which was indeed quite a strange feeeling, by the way). I thought of it from that approach, but its happened with at least 1 girl from each paying situation that won't return future calls, so i'm nott too sure it's factoring into this one....
D-Lish Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 Just keep at it. Dating is about playing the odds. I don't see anything that stands out as being a turn off to most women.
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