CLC2008 Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 I am going to try to be helpful here. It's good to be mindful and observant but for the short period of time that you've known this girl, you are deconstructing this way way too much. Being analytical is good, to a degree, but it can also be an achilles heel of sorts. You're job is not to keep her (or anyone for that matter), entertained 24-7 because you fear she will get "bored". Let her entertain herself. You're supposed to compliment each others lives. So just go with the flow and stop being a worry wart.
Author VertexSquared Posted April 23, 2010 Author Posted April 23, 2010 I am going to try to be helpful here. It's good to be mindful and observant but for the short period of time that you've known this girl, you are deconstructing this way way too much. Being analytical is good, to a degree, but it can also be an achilles heel of sorts. You're job is not to keep her (or anyone for that matter), entertained 24-7 because you fear she will get "bored". Let her entertain herself. You're supposed to compliment each others lives. So just go with the flow and stop being a worry wart. Alright. Will do... I'm going to meet up with her now and just plan to let things unfold as they may and have a good time.
CLC2008 Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 Alright. Will do... I'm going to meet up with her now and just plan to let things unfold as they may and have a good time. That's good to hear.
Always A Lesson Posted April 24, 2010 Posted April 24, 2010 VS, You sound like such a grounded guy. I hear your confidence peaking through these threads. Seems things are going good. My concerns have already been mentioned in prior threads. but... It's something about her asking to stay over at your place,... Mmmm sorry, don't want to burst your bubble, but it's too soon too fast. Of course , the fellas out there say" great, strip her butt naked and slap it" yah,yah,yah.... But from a real women's perspective, too soon. Not saying that some things have to be earned.......WRONG WORD.....You see where I'm going here? But certain things like staying over have to be worked up to... You two have to find your own PACE first, feel each other out (no pun intended) .... and this takes time... You both should continue to mentally and emotionally connect, then the bodies come together... that's when it's really binding and sweet. Hey I've know of couples who hold off for spiritual reasons, NOT GOING THERE... One thing for sure, thank your lucky stars you have LS posters to help you through, if only I knew of them 15 years ago, wouldn't of made so many darn mistakes, and kissed those no-good, don' have a job, don't have a car, baby-mama drama frogs! LOL..
Romance Posted April 24, 2010 Posted April 24, 2010 Maybe I'm weird but I don't think its weird or clingy she wants to sleep over. I mean, he jumped the gun by quickly asking her to be his girlfriend. They're gonna be together for two days in a row, she wants to sleep over. So what if she wants to have sex, they're 20 somethings, of course they want to have sex. She didn't jump on him the first night..
Author VertexSquared Posted April 25, 2010 Author Posted April 25, 2010 Had a great time. Ate at a few different places, walked in the park, met up with friends, saw a few movies, and, yes, we had sex twice (once each night). The way she cuddles up to me and caresses my face when we sleep together... it makes my spine tingle something fierce, haha.
Crazy Magnet Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 Why is everyone harping on her wanting to sleep over. They are BF/GF, it's normal to do that in a relationship. They already have the relationship established so what's the big deal about staying over?
D-Lish Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 I've asked her about it before and she says she doesn't know, but "I can ask her friends" if I wanted to. What is she, 12??? Somebody that isn't capable of talking to you themself isn't suitable for a relationship.
Beerme Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 What is she, 12??? Somebody that isn't capable of talking to you themself isn't suitable for a relationship. +1. I'm in total agreement with this statement.
Green Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 Why is everyone harping on her wanting to sleep over. They are BF/GF, it's normal to do that in a relationship. They already have the relationship established so what's the big deal about staying over? I wasn't harping about it. I just thought he should enjoy it. What is she, 12??? Somebody that isn't capable of talking to you themself isn't suitable for a relationship. If I were Vertex I would just stop posting at this point, I mean this thread has run its "First in-person date after work" purpose and even its follow up to the first in-person date after work... I think maybe she was just being silly by saying this and really doesn't have an answer. Asking her friends about this would be a silly imature thing to do.
Author VertexSquared Posted April 25, 2010 Author Posted April 25, 2010 I think maybe she was just being silly by saying this and really doesn't have an answer. Asking her friends about this would be a silly imature thing to do. Let me be a bit more specific in what I meant. She said she didn't know for sure because the guys never told her their rationale/specific reasonings. Her interpretation was that there was no communication, coupled with the fact that she tended to date the wrong kind of guys. She was usually afraid to speak her mind and guys would be hesitant to communicate back without getting mad, so things just fell apart after a few months. The "ask her friends" part was not so much a serious suggestion as it was a "They could probably attest to all this." She's talked to me directly about a multitude of things and is in no way incapable of communication.
Green Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 Let me be a bit more specific in what I meant. She said she didn't know for sure because the guys never told her their rationale/specific reasonings. Her interpretation was that there was no communication, coupled with the fact that she tended to date the wrong kind of guys. She was usually afraid to speak her mind and guys would be hesitant to communicate back without getting mad, so things just fell apart after a few months. The "ask her friends" part was not so much a serious suggestion as it was a "They could probably attest to all this." She's talked to me directly about a multitude of things and is in no way incapable of communication. Makes sense, I would avoid asking and learning about her past any ways.
likestolaugh Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 Makes sense, I would avoid asking and learning about her past any ways. I wouldn't. Less (bad) surprises that way. That said, I don't mean hound her.
Star Gazer Posted April 25, 2010 Posted April 25, 2010 I am VERY concerned that she doesn't know why, and cannot articulate why, her previous relationships ended.
Author VertexSquared Posted April 25, 2010 Author Posted April 25, 2010 I am VERY concerned that she doesn't know why, and cannot articulate why, her previous relationships ended. She basically said they lost interest -- the whole "You're still a great person but it's not you/it's me" type of argument, in the end.
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