Sivok Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 This past Tuesday, my girlfriend and I got into a heated fight and broke off our relationship. We've been bickering for a month now and it got to a point where I felt there's just no going back. Months earlier she told me she was in love with me, and she knew I didn't feel the same, that she was scared because I could 'Break Her'. This is true, I never did fall in love with her. During the breakup, I said some harsh things to her and cut off all communication. According to a mutual friend, she was having a very hard time and that evening (Wednesday) she said she was going to go with a friend and get ****faced drunk to forget about me. We broke up on Tuesday. Thursday (yesterday), I get a call from her mother giving me some devastating news (I have no idea if her mother knew about the breakup or not). She told me my ex went out with a girlfriend and drank alot. They were driving back home (the friend was driving), the driver lost control of the vehicle, and the car went over a cliff. She's now in a medicated coma at the hospital with broken ribs and internal bleeding. I called and left a voicemail for my ex. I don't know if she'll listen to it, but I'm sure she is very hurt and angry with me at the moment. I'm still a human being, I care about her, and I wouldn't wish that kind of harm on anybody. I don't think I should pester anymore because I guarantee that at this moment she despises me. This situation has got me raddled up good and I need to know how she's doing without being overbearing. What should I do? I'm thinking the best thing to do is wait it out and see if I get contact again, I did do my part. (Note: we live on opposite coasts at the moment, so visiting her at the hospital is out of the question)
LoveLace Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 How will she know you called if she's under a medicated coma?...or is that the driver?..sorry... Send a get well or "thinking of you" card. No need to write a lot inside, just a signature is fine. Or, you could check in with her mother that called you, to get an update on how she's doing, and politely ask that she extends a message to your Ex that you are thinking of her. If you talk to her, let her know your sorry this happened, and you are here for her as a friend. There isn't much more you can do than that...but don't let yourself carry too much blame here, she made the choice to handle her emotions in the manner that she did, and the consequences of that are out of your control. Guilt you feel is understandable, but that makes you good-hearted, not guilty. At this point she shouldn't be thinking about you as much as a lesson not to drink and drive, or to deal with her problems in a less dangerous way. Those things have nothing to do with you.
Author Sivok Posted April 21, 2010 Author Posted April 21, 2010 Thank you both much for the advice, it has helped alot interms of putting what happened into perspective and coming interms with reality. She luckily did wake up, and I bid her and her family my best.
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