LoveLace Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 ..in a first date conversation..? I have a bad habit of talking, talking, talking, if I'm nervous...not that the other person can't get a word in, I try to make sure it's equal, but I could still probably stand to talk less? lol So far on the phone me and the guy have had very well flowing talks, but I think I've been the more talkative one. I'm nervous about the 1st date because we seem to click so well..anyway so I don't want to blow it by talking WAY too much. But what does a guy prefer at this point? Talking or listening? Does he like being asked questions or does that put him on the spot? I've heard 2 things...dominating conversation takes some pressure off a guy. 2) Letting him lead conversation makes him feel good about himself...so which is it?
carhill Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 I can tell you honestly that, while I enjoy conversations with women immensely, when I get the sense that they go on and on about themselves, perhaps autonomously or perhaps due to my sincere interest, and show little reciprocation when I share my life and times, I discontinue relations. That was the main reason I stopped dating someone recently. It was the main reason I got divorced. Up to you how you want to value that information. Hope the date goes well
Author LoveLace Posted April 16, 2010 Author Posted April 16, 2010 I can tell you honestly that, while I enjoy conversations with women immensely, when I get the sense that they go on and on about themselves, perhaps autonomously or perhaps due to my sincere interest, and show little reciprocation when I share my life and times, I discontinue relations. That was the main reason I stopped dating someone recently. It was the main reason I got divorced. Up to you how you want to value that information. Hope the date goes well Haha, I'd said that info is valuable enough, Car! I'll make an effort to ask him questions or play off of things he talks about..
PJKino Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 Im not the most talkative guy in the world but im good at feeding off of other peoples comments so if a women can keep up a conversation it helps me
Star Gazer Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 It's not a male-female thing. The conversation should flow evenly; a reciprocal exchange.
EasyHeart Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 Generally, I assume the woman is going to talk more than me. I don't pay much attention or keep score about who is talking more or less. What I look for is a conversation that isn't forced, or one where I'm not constantly having to think of new topics to raise. I think some women as self-conscious about 'talking too much'. I have yet to meet a woman who I thought talked too much on a first date. I've met LOTS of women who didn't talk enough on the first date -- and I didn't ask them on a second date. So I say "Talk away, LL!"
Engadget Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 It should be about equal. If one or the other constantly talks, it doesn't work. I hate when you meet someone that talks on and on, and when you try to speak they continue as if you don't exist. CAN IT!
threebyfate Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 Lovelace, what kind of man are you attracted to and where's your comfort level? This will define your own approach to conversation.
Rorschach Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 Woman, definitely the woman. Not because I think all woman should, but because people in general like to talk about themselves. So if the woman I'm talking to is talking about herself, she's enjoying the conversation and in her mind it makes me look better. So woman, for purely selfish reasons
georgia girl Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 Lovelace, have a big glass of wine and relax. (or a big sigh, if you don't want him to think you're a boozer). Seriously, a first date is magical and awkward all at the same time. Just go with the flow and don't stress about who talks more. If you are relaxed and having a good time, he will, too. Gosh, I'm jealous! I love my fiance to death but I remember the rush of the first date. So damned fun! Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy.
ADF Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 Contrary to a widely held stereotype, men actually talk more than women, particularly in mixed-gender situations. Your case sounds a bit unusual. I don't think holding a conversation ought to be viewed through a dominant/submissive lens. Just follow the normal rules of polite conversation, which include listening and giving the other person time to talk.
Author LoveLace Posted April 17, 2010 Author Posted April 17, 2010 Lovelace, have a big glass of wine and relax. (or a big sigh, if you don't want him to think you're a boozer). Seriously, a first date is magical and awkward all at the same time. Just go with the flow and don't stress about who talks more. If you are relaxed and having a good time, he will, too. Gosh, I'm jealous! I love my fiance to death but I remember the rush of the first date. So damned fun! Enjoy. Enjoy. Enjoy. Well, we ARE going to a French restaurant, so a glass of wine wouldn't be going too crazy I don't think! hehee He's already said that he enjoys talking with me, so I guess if it flows as it already has been on the phone, there's nothing to worry about... Threebyfate I've always been attracted to guys that are as talkative as me...any much more or less, I tend to struggle. And I'd say this guy is as talkative as I, it's just that I tend to be a story teller...and I've been told by friends I tell stories good...on the phone the other night he even said to me "That's a good story!"...then I said there's more where that came from, which prompted him to set up our details for the date, lol... I have been making a point to ask him questions about himself on the phone, but I don't think it will hurt for me to ask more...without sounding like it's a job interview...
EasyHeart Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 Okay LL, we're all waiting for the scoop . . . .
Author LoveLace Posted April 17, 2010 Author Posted April 17, 2010 We meet for lunch in a couple of hours, I'll update, I don't know if it's because of nerves or what but I really can't wait to get it over with
Author LoveLace Posted April 17, 2010 Author Posted April 17, 2010 Well it was a fabulous day...I felt attracted to him right off the bat and think he did too...it's a nice day so we had lunch on a patio and took a stroll through a small town around here that has nice shops, wineries, etc, about halfway through we were holding hands and we were smiling a lot...hehe..we started talking about things there are to do around the city and he said "we should do that some time"...yadda yadda..then at then end he kissed me and said we will definitely go out again...I said yes, for sure...and that was that...so I forgot to say call me or anything like that, surely he knows he's supposed to do that...haha And the tips really helped because I made sure to ask him questions about himself and he asked me some as well...actually one of the best dates I've ever had and I'm pretty excited to see what's to come next! (:
marsle85 Posted April 17, 2010 Posted April 17, 2010 so I forgot to say call me or anything like that, surely he knows he's supposed to do that...haha GOOD. Don't say that! Don't present yourself on a gold platter. He is (I hate to say it) "wooing" you. It has to be exciting and a little scary calling you. Don't take that thrill away from him.
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