Lost and

[Bdk0576]

I hardly know where to begin. My wife and I have been married for 7 years this past January, and have been togeather for 8 years. We started out AWSOME, we had fun, we went places, laughed all the time, and were a great couple. We were married in january of 2003. Everything was still great and then in march of 2005 we had our first child, a BEAUTIFUL baby girl. Things were good still, then my wife and I came to a mutual decision that she was gonna be a stay at home mom. Needless to say, now I was the only income for the family, I worked longer days and was home A LOT LESS. My stress level went up alot because I wanted to do good by my family, and my attitude was affected as well. This went on for about a year, my wife and friends told me that I should see a doctor because I was ALWAYS grumpy and moody, I just blew it off and made the excuse that it was because I was working so hard. In may of 2007 we had our second child, a healthy baby boy. Well, now my stress got worse and I was very moody and miserable, again I chalked it up to working so hard for my family. I went to a doctor and he said that I had serve anxiety and gave me wellbutron and said that it would help make things better, I tried it for a month and it made me feel like a zombie so I stopped taking it. At this point I wasn't helping my wife around the house or with the kids, I had the mindset that she was the stay at home mom so it's her job to do it all. My wife had gastric bypass surgery, she was 280lbs and she dropped pretty quick, and as other guys started to notice her things between us got worse. We argued alot more and got further apart. Longer story short, 8 months ago she said she wanted a divorce, and has since been seeing another guy, this has devestated my whole world. I've COMPLETLY CHANGED everything, i do it all, kids and all the house choirs, she works days and has nothing at all tondo whennshe gets home. She says she doesn't live me anymore because things I've done are unforgivable, we fought in front of the kids, I punched a hole in the wall in front of the kids, I called her some nasty names, and broke her laptop. Mind you, I NEVER, hit her, cheated, had any kid of addiction problems, or any of that type of stuff. How is it that I can forgive her and put it behind us for cheating and lying to me and the things I listed that I did is unforgivable? We've tried councialing and it was a huge waste of money. I LOVE HER WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL and want so bad to be a family again......... PLEASE, any help, I'm in such a bad emotionalnplace right now and soo confused.

[carhill]

So, you don't see counseling as a vehicle to understand and process why you punched the walls and broke a laptop and all that other stuff? See, all the emotions you were feeling were valid; the misconnect was how they were reaching the world through your words and actions.

 

Your wife wants a divorce and has been seeing another guy. OK, accept that. Have her stuff boxed up and ready to go this weekend. Check Craigslist for an apartment rental. I have a nice house she can rent reasonably. (as an example). Get her out of your home. She's disrespecting yourself and your children by seeing another man while living in your home with your children. That has to stop. Get her out.

 

Reconsider counseling. Look in your children's eyes, remember the things you did and said in front of them and know why. Good luck

[Scrwriter]

If she's in your house and cheating on you seeing another guy pack her stuff and get her out. Now. The sooner she's out the sooner you can start to assess your own self without feeling like a loser because you're looking at your wife who's doing another guy every day. You need work to do on yourself, start it. Start seeing a therapist. I'm trying it. Don't know if it will work yet but it's better than sitting home feeling bad about yourself. Remember, you were not the one who cheated and when women change, drastic change, like losing a bunch of weight or changing a career they can change emotionally sometimes and seek out new partners.