undisclosed Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 (edited) Here's the novel: My BF of almost four years broke up with me less than a month ago. It's been a roller-coaster of emotions. Everything was great, so I thought. Basically, he told me he couldn't see himself marrying me and that he loved me and wanted to be with me, but did not see a point in being with someone for so long if you are not going to marry them and He decided he just couldn't see himself marrying ANYONE ever. I never pressured him or even said thats what I wanted nor was I even ready and I don't think you need to be married to be committed. I was perfectly happy just to be with him. He said he doesn't see the point and that ending it now is the right thing to do and that he thinks eventually I would would want more and that I should find someone better or whose right for me. Okay, I definitely didn't take it well, but his decision was made. He said it was difficult to say goodbye to me and he wanted to still talk to me and hang out. So, the 1st week he texted me randomly and that was not making me feel better . I just wanted to be with him again, so at the end of the week I decided to meet with him and tell him we should wait on friendship. He said it made sense, then I broke and told him that I did want to be friends. He said, he was cool with it, but too soon to hang out, but we can still text (not talk), because it was still too hard and it would be hard to keep it from going back to how we were. I spoke with him a week later, but he was kind of rude and said, texting was okay (not everyday), and that its uncomfortable talking to me..So I've caved a couple times (looking at his facebook) ofcourse that was a bad idea. I also texted him, but he never texted back. So, I think he may be talking to someone (bc something I saw on FB.) Obviously, hes free too to that now, but what do you make of the whole thing, was he honest with his reason for breaking up, does he even miss me, how can someone move on so quickly, why is he ignoring me, will he ever contact me again? Sorry for the novel, but its been very difficult, crying for days, roller-coaster emotions, everything reminds me of him, and I can't seem to stop caring about him. He said, I was the first girl he could say he loved, so does he feel like I do at all? Edited April 16, 2010 by undisclosed
deux ex machina Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 (edited) Hugs to you. Sorry things are so difficult for you right now. I can't say what he was thinking about when he broke up with you, if you'll ever speak again, if he misses you, why he is ignoring you, how he could move on so quickly, or any of those things. I don't know if you noticed this...but you (understandably, at the moment), are very focused on him. The only way to make that stop is to not check out his Facebook or contact him in any way. You're going to have to be strict with yourself, but after some time passes you'll see the wisdom in staying away from him completely. Edited April 16, 2010 by deux ex machina
boogieboy Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 (edited) Undisclosed, your same story (from other people) comes through this message board all the time and youre not going to like what I'm going to tell you. So if you dont want the truth, dont read on. Your bf's excuse was a lie. Since you never pressured him, it was an easy out. He was bored with you and most likely found someone new..or someone he thought was a better fit....which you seem to have evidence of. Dont be surprised if he comes looking for you in another month when the new girl doesnt work out. Does he feel the same way you do? no. He has probably been contemplating breaking up with you for some time, he started the moving process on 4 months ago. When you get the idea into your head that youre tired of someone, everything they do is annoying, and youre not attracted to them anymore. so by the time the breakup comes, its a big weight off your shoulders. Im sure youve broken up with someone before, so maybe you can put yourself in his shoes. He's ignoring you because he knows that talking to you will just keep the connection open and keep you hanging on, and he clearly doesnt want to do that, and also he wants to move on. He's doing you a favor by ignoring you, trust me, its best for you. Go hang with your friends, work out, take up a new hobby, burn all his things, do whatever you have to to focus on you and not him. What you ned to learn from this is that you cant take someone for granted, and you have to watch them carefully for signs that they might be getting distant. You wont remember these signs now, but in the months coming you will. Edited April 16, 2010 by boogieboy
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