Do you think your dumper hurt too over the breakup?

[threebyfate]

As someone who's primarily been the dumper, in each and every break up, I've hurt, sometimes for a long time afterwards, other times not so long.

 

We're human too, with human emotions. Unless you're the type of person who has no feelings, you break up with others for reasons.

 

There's no purpose beyond masochistic pain, to keep fighting for non-compatible relationships.

[romer]

If mine did it was short-lived.

[ingridh]

I'm confident my ex moved on

 

Me too. My dumper ex and his fiancée are getting married and moving to another country. Pretty sure he isn't hurting. At all.

[lsb]

It does depend on the situation. Of course some dumpers can just walk away because they may have been thinking it for a while or maybe they were 100% percent sure.

 

BUT, I was the dumper in two situations and I hurt each time because it was like I had to face the fact that while I really wanted things to work out I realized I didn't want to be in the situation I was in. That the person was not good for me.

 

I think it is ridiculous to say dumpers are not hurting. That is a huge generalization.

[Tamia78]

And let's not forget that there are quite a few people out there who are afraid of life and emotions because it runs away with them. Sometimes people pull the plug because ultimately they never confronted their own insecurities, weaknesses and fears. When it comes to understanding one's own emotions and dealing with them, some people have spent most of their lives deflecting their feelings and burying them because they're afraid of what they'll unearth if they go digging in their own backyard.

 

Oh, DEFINITELY this. My ex had this problem, and he stated that I was the reason that we broke up. He externalized everything, making me sound like a total bitch when it was he who was not willing to open up emotionally. I've caught him checking up on me quite a few times over the last 2 weeks, so, I think he's either A) Missing me because he knows he was wrong, or B) Missing me because the girls he's quickly having relationships with aren't working out. Do I believe he's actually hurt because of the breakup? No freakin way.

 

--T

[SadKitty78]

i have never been more hurt in my life! almost 2 months on and im still in a bit of pain!

 

she started a serious flirt situation with some guy from her salsa dancing scene, got caught, admitted fault then i found her 3 weeks later doing the same thing with the same guy at 3am ...i dont know if she physically cheated or not,but those texts i saw were enough to put serious doubt and severe trust issues into me. thats not someone i want mothering my children...

 

had permission to use his computer and found explicit photos of an ex he took and still had. asked him about her without bringing up the photos and he said they have always only been friends. he lied and got busted! i know he hung out with her twice while we were together. brought up that i had seen them and he punched a hole in the wall, telling me he could never trust me again. he created a guest account while i was around after that incident so i knew he never deleted them. we had our last fight about that.

 

trust me? how could i ever trust him again? and to this day, not sure if he ever cheated, but he dumped me before i could end things with him.

 

5 days on, not sure if he's as hurt and devastated as i am. something tells me an unemotional guy like him couldn't possibly hurt as much as i am now.

[Apeclet74]

I probably would've believed her, if it werent for the fact that she hooked up with 2 different guys at my sisters house on the day of our breakup....On the bed her and I shared when we had to stay there mind you. Disgusts me. No morals or self respect