Darkangelism Posted January 21, 2004 Posted January 21, 2004 Originally posted by moimeme and all you single fems can PM me, at the very least I can help you be more comfortable talking to guys That's very self-sacrificing of you Hey cant fault me for trying,lol,
BrainRightHeartWrong Posted January 21, 2004 Posted January 21, 2004 only time in my adult life i've had a really really special time is when i have been in love with a girl i've had many good times without but i realise that to experience that extra special happiness i need to be with somebody special being single is OK for a while then it is crap, i am unfortunately single again and i hate it, i know i can go out and whore about without a care but this doesn't appeal to me, it is crap!!!! nothing as special as knowing a person out there who loves you!!!!
Jon S. Posted January 22, 2004 Posted January 22, 2004 Originally posted by moimeme almost like I play off like I am confident so that it makes me feel better about who I am That's called 'fake it 'till you make it' and it's a strategy that's recommended to people who are shy. Pretend you have self-confidence, act as though you have self-confidence, and you will actually become more self-confident. I fully endorse that strategy.
sarah12 Posted January 23, 2004 Posted January 23, 2004 It seems that most people would agree that being in relationships is more desired than to be alone. Then why is it that in so many relationships, people break up because they want to 'experience being single' and all that? Is it because we always want what we can't have? i.e. those of us who are single want to be in a relationship, and those in a relationship want to be single?
yes Posted January 23, 2004 Posted January 23, 2004 i don't agree that being in a r/s is necessarily better than being single. singlehood gives you lots of freedom you can't even dream of in an r/s, but of course you also don't get all the benefits of being in an r/s. it seems that what most would find ideal is having a serious mate + some fun on the side now and then, all without troubles. it also seems to me that being single non-voluntarily is more often than not a function of self-esteem problems. -yes
monkey00 Posted January 24, 2004 Posted January 24, 2004 hmm..beats me, when i first meet a girl they probably think im intimidating cause im very confident and i know where im going in life. at first when i break the ice and talk to them they immediately have a high interest lvl... then there are times where i may happen to screw up with them somehow and happen to lower their interest lvl...beats me what im doing wrong... i think i might know what im doing wrong, but hey, learning from mistakes is what's life is all about.
sarah12 Posted January 24, 2004 Posted January 24, 2004 For me, a guy having too much confidence is not very attractive. I've met a lot of men who, upon meeting them for the first time, will tell me about their job/school in attempt to win me over by their successes in life or how much money they are making, etc. I don't find it intimidating, I find it unattractive. Monkey00 - I don't know if that is what you meant by confidence but I'm just pointing out that some girls don't like too much confidence...there has to be the right amount of balance.
clia Posted January 24, 2004 Posted January 24, 2004 It's possible to be confident but not be intimidating. It's all in how you work it.
BlockHead Posted January 24, 2004 Posted January 24, 2004 sarah12 For me, a guy having too much confidence is not very attractive. I've met a lot of men who, upon meeting them for the first time, will tell me about their job/school in attempt to win me over by their successes in life or how much money they are making, etc.That is boastful, not confident. clia It's possible to be confident but not be intimidating. It's all in how you work it.Very true.
UCFKevin Posted January 24, 2004 Posted January 24, 2004 Crazy thing is, sometimes when a guy boasts how much money he makes, it totally wins over the chick he's talking to. I wouldn't want to go out with someone who needs to know how much money one makes or what kind of car one drives. To hell with that. Let the shallow stick with the shallow.
Author longlegzs80 Posted January 24, 2004 Author Posted January 24, 2004 When a guy talks about how much money he makes and blah blah blah, it is such a turn off. To me, I could care less how much money you make a year. As long as you have a job and your a responsible man that is good for you. But, there is no need for someone to brag about the money that they make to try to win someone over. Total turn off. As long as a guys have a job and can take care of themselves as far as money goes, that is all I care about. It would just be nice to find a guy who don't feel like they have to buy your affection or talk about money to try to impress you to liking them. That is what I have experienced when I do meet someone. And I say straight up that I could give a you know what about that. All I care about is how the guy treats me and if there is some kind of chemistry.
sarah12 Posted January 24, 2004 Posted January 24, 2004 As long as a guys have a job and can take care of themselves as far as money goes, that is all I care about. It would just be nice to find a guy who don't feel like they have to buy your affection or talk about money to try to impress you to liking them. That is what I have experienced when I do meet someone. And I say straight up that I could give a you know what about that. All I care about is how the guy treats me and if there is some kind of chemistry. Longlegz, I am in the same boat as you. Perhaps it is because we are in our early 20s and most guys we meet are at that stage where they are just starting a career and are fascinated by the money they are making. I don't know..it's just one perspective. However, I have met some really great guys, but I am not attracted to them. I guess our time will come when it comes..
Angel Posted January 26, 2004 Posted January 26, 2004 Alone and lonely are two very different things!
Jon S. Posted January 26, 2004 Posted January 26, 2004 I spent the first three and a half years of my university years looking for a relationship. Now that I've stopped, I'm meeting more girls. You can't be afraid to be rejected and you can't be afraid to spend time with people who aren't "perfect." If you hold out for the perfect person, you might be holding out your entire life. Being single is okay if you're getting a lot of dates. Being single w/o any dates is the pits.
OrlandoGirl Posted January 26, 2004 Posted January 26, 2004 Thats a loaded answer I'm still single because I can't seem to find a real decent man who isn't superficial and "real" so to speak. Because I work in music and film, it's even 10 times harder now! I'm sure part of it is my fault too though.. I used to be slightly overweight, not much..maybe 30 pounds above my normal weight..but I was "thick" so to speak..well, I got tired of all these superficial men.. so..there have been a couple of clients i've met online, and I sent them the "thick" picture of me as a test so to speak..just to see how superficial they are. Now, even talking and getting along well..they loose interest pronto, and mind you i'm still pretty darn hot in those pics I'm just tired of some guy wanting to me know off the street because i look good..and i'd rather just find a real guy who wants me, for me..ya know? That's my issue! Now..if only I can find a "normal" guy with aspiriation, motivation and sincerity..it's ON! :)
monkey00 Posted January 27, 2004 Posted January 27, 2004 Originally posted by sarah12 For me, a guy having too much confidence is not very attractive. I've met a lot of men who, upon meeting them for the first time, will tell me about their job/school in attempt to win me over by their successes in life or how much money they are making, etc. I don't find it intimidating, I find it unattractive. Monkey00 - I don't know if that is what you meant by confidence but I'm just pointing out that some girls don't like too much confidence...there has to be the right amount of balance. sarah12: i would define that as being egocentric, ppl that like to brag about this and that...these losers wont ever win anyone over if all they seem to care about is themselves. if all u care about is yourself, where will there be a part of you that can care for someone else? i bet these are the type of ppl in life who have low self-esteem who NEEDS ppl to compliment them to make themselves feel better. my definition of confidence is...unafraid to do something/say something, being ambitious in life, unafraid to try out new things, able to socialize/communicate under any circumstance. basically to put it short, take charge of your own life and being your own leader. i have friends who are unconfident about themselves, they are either unambitious or they are just followers. like i have one friend who got his permit cause me and another friend did, then he signed up for the gym cause im a member there. i bet he would've never signed up if i didnt go w/him, when i ask him if he wants to stay in shape or gain mass( get big) he doesnt have an answer for me....this giving me an indication that he doesnt know what goal/purpose he has for applying/going to the gym.
Darkangelism Posted January 27, 2004 Posted January 27, 2004 I am the definition of confident....wait just me saying that is arrogant, nevermind. that was a joke,lol
faux Posted January 29, 2004 Posted January 29, 2004 Originally posted by longlegzs80 this is a kinda odd question that might not be able to be answered, but I Am going to try it anyways. For the singles, why are you still single? Has anyone who has experienced being single like myself for years understand why your still single? Are there certain things you feel you need to change about yourself to get someone like a man or a women interested in you? I've met a few people since my last real relationship. I keep coming in contact with people who seem pretty interested, but I shy away and lose interest in them all rather quickly, so nothing works out. Maybe I'm not ready to trust again after something that happened to me. I'd say it's mostly by choice, otherwise I would make more of an effort. I feel bad for the people who tried to reach out to me, and they were all wonderful girls... I'm just not ready to trust again after what happened.
sarah12 Posted January 29, 2004 Posted January 29, 2004 I'd say it's mostly by choice, otherwise I would make more of an effort. I feel bad for the people who tried to reach out to me, and they were all wonderful girls... I'm just not ready to trust again after what happened. I totally agree. It's weird..I feel bad too for the guys who are interested..but you can't help the way you feel. They're great guys, and if my heart was open, I'd probably take them up on a date..but I hate that I just can't get over stuff that happened in the past. I think it's going to take a long time before I can trust again. So longlegz, in a way, you are lucky that you haven't had to deal with these kinds of problems. You can go into a relationship with an open heart and be willing to give it your all, with no hesitation.
dudesomewhere Posted May 23, 2004 Posted May 23, 2004 i'm single because I'm poor. The ladies love the money which I don't gotz...sigh hehehehehe
kirkyswife Posted August 4, 2004 Posted August 4, 2004 Now isn't that the MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION?! Although I've been married for 11 years and separated for 10 of those years I considered myself for the most part single and I think that it had solely to do with poor choices in men and carrying a lot of baggage from my dysfunctional relationship with my father. As I look forward to my future (divorce pending) I am concerned about being 31, divorced and bipolar. I'm a good woman, with a lot to offer a man despite my history. I am in no way tainted by my previous experiences and hope that I am blessed with a man that is intelligent, articulate, ambitious, understanding, patient and willing to give and receive love. When I love, I have a tendency to love hard - with all of the innocency that people really do mean well. I take the words I love you very seriously and only speak them when my heart has given me permission to - I expect the same from someone I deal with. I have a hard time understanding someone claiming to love you and then their actions are not loving at all. I'm dedicated and committed and I expect the same from my partner - again I am let down when someone doesn't fight for love like I do. I must have the wrong ideologies of love and relationships because no matter what I touch it turns to caca brown. I'm not feeling sorry for myself just feeling sorry for myself.
chicasha Posted August 6, 2004 Posted August 6, 2004 I don't choose to be single. Don't get me wrong....I enjoy the single life, it can be a lot of fun, and there are many new interesting experiences that I love sharing with my friends (trips....new hobbies....etc.). But...oh, I really look forward to the day when I can finally fall in love with someone great! Why haven't I found that person yet..?? Well...I dunno. I guess I have my standards, my preferences. I"m not picky, per se :-) But...I think in being single....I've finally learnt exactly what I want in a man....and I'm not willing to settle. I AM willing to compromise, better my life, adjust accordingly to the right man. But....i'm not willing to settle when it comes to the important things that make a good relationship. Also....I guess my 'instinct' isn't up to par yet. I do tend to fall in love with men....who I THINK meet my preferences. Only to find out......that they are not interested, and they're not what they first seemed to be. I've gotten hurt many times because of this...so naturally I'm gun shy on top of everything else. Sigh. This is why I'm single. Not the most ideal situation......but single-life isn't ALL bad. But like I said.........if the day finally comes when I"m married to someone wonderful, I'm gonna be a bloody happy drunk!! (the rest of my family will be bloody happy drunkards too!)
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