SteveMc Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Ok so long story short: She dumped my last December. I begged, pleaded, wrote letters, sent flowers, and cried in front of her during a meet up at Starbucks on February 5th; and got rejected horribly. Since that that point I went complete no contact, and didn't even spy on her facebook page for the last two months. Fast forward to today: Last Thursday I received the "hey steve.....hope all is well" text. I did not respond. Today I received the "hey steve, hope all is well. I was thinking about some stuff the other day and theres some stuff I want to talk to you about. If you are still in the area and you want to see me let me know your schedule." I have not responded. This was basically the same exact text I sent her two months ago where I met up with her and made myself look like a fool one last time trying to get her back. My question for you guys is, what the hell is going on here? Last time we met she said she saw no reason to ever speak again...And now this. It really is messing me up emotionally because it stirs up some pain for me. Is she doing this just to keep me emeshed with her? Because she wants an ego boost by me responding? All thoughts and insights would be greatly appreciated. I am going crazy here.
alphamale Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 My question for you guys is, what the hell is going on here? she's trying to mess with your head man. don't respond and spend your energy looking for someone else.
RibbonCandy Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 Well, if she dumped you there had to have been a reason she felt that way in December, and by February she still felt that way. Maybe she had good cause, maybe she didn't. Doesn't matter. Some more time has passed, you've given her the space and distance with NC that you didn't initially give her, so she's had time to clear her mind and think things through without pressure or interference from you. Don't be judgmental or harsh because she took longer to come around to being ready to talk things through than you would have liked. We all work through things at our own pace. Meet up with her. Hear her out. Don't get overly excited, but be willing to hear her out. Afterall, she met up with you in February at your request, even though she obviously wasn't feeling good about it at the time. Give her the same curtesy now, and see what happens.
txsilkysmoothe Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 I don't like that she was so dismissive of you previously. That would only be justified if you did something terrible that caused the demise of the relationship. I would want to know exactly what she wants to discuss before deciding whether to meet her or not. If she wants to reconcile, she should be willing to say so. If not, why bother meeting?
DustySaltus Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 (edited) Steve, I read your old posts and one thing that she said really stuck out for me: As much as I hate myself, I still loved you. You’re right; I do hate myself on that deep level. I do have plaguing fears of being abandoned. I’m flawed to the extent that my soul is practically impure. I’m not going to lie and say I have come to accept that, but I know that; I’m aware. I’m aware, and have always been aware. Maybe my hopes clouded my ability to apply the awareness in my life. If she doesn't love herself she's incapable of being in love with anyone else. This is the biggest problem you would need to overcome with her if you were to get back together. Secondly, you need to be a lot more available to her and be the man that she fell in love with. A second chance cannot work unless both people are willing to do whatever it takes to get past the problems that led to the break up in the first place. Anything short of her saying she made a mistake and is willing to do whatever it takes to make it work is pointless. It's not an easy task, there's a lot of work to do here. Most people would rather move onto something new than fix something that needs a lot of repair. It all comes down to what you want. Are you happier now than you were before? Do you feel that the same problems will resurface down the line? If so, it may not be worth it. I believe that second chances can work but it has to come from the right place. I say meet with her, hear her out but don't open yourself up too much. She wants to talk, let her talk. And no matter what she asks about your life....you tell her everything is GREAT. Good luck. Edited April 15, 2010 by DustySaltus grammar
mark982 Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 steve, she's screwing with your head. just stay away,all she's tring to do is see if she still has control over you.
TLH Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 You hit it right on the spot. She definitely needs an ego boost. She hasn't heard from you and needs to know that you still miss her and are suffering. DO NOT RESPOND! If you have gone NC for 2 months, do not throw that away. That's an awesome accomplishment! You should be proud. And when you ignore her text, you will be another step closer to freeing yourself from the pain. Keep going and keep healing.
monkeymaid Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 im with the general concensus with this one. ...she needs an ego stroke. ...she will come find you and bare all face to face if she wants what she is insinuating
sugarmomma Posted April 16, 2010 Posted April 16, 2010 I begged, pleaded, wrote letters, sent flowers, and cried in front of her during a meet up at Starbucks on February 5th; and got rejected horribly.""" The fact that you kind of lost your dignity puts you on an uneven playing field. Never do that again please since people lose respect for others who grovel and beg. I would not allow her too close if I were you.
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