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I like you, but not that much


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Posted

A few weeks ago my BF pretty much asked me to move in with him this summer.

 

A couple days ago he spent 2 hours telling me how much his family loves me, and how his parents think I'm amazing, and they think he should marry me; and how his friends think I'm so hot and amazing and a great catch and he should marry me before I come to my senses and dump him; and how he thinks I'm so amazing and the best thing that's ever happened to him, and he wants to marry me.

 

Then he ended by saying that he thinks he wants to keeps his roommates for a little longer (he's a homeowner) a little longer (in other words, not have me move in this summer), and that I should, and I quote, "move in but not really".

 

What does that even mean, "you should move in, but not really"????? I think it means "I like you, but I don't like you that much".

:mad::(

Posted
hat does that even mean, "you should move in, but not really"????? I think it means "I like you, but I don't like you that much".

:mad::(

it means you should move into the shed in the backyard

  • Author
Posted
it means you should move into the shed in the backyard

 

:lmao:

I think it means I should be at his house every single day/night, but not move any of my things in, and continue to pay rent/utilities at my place, while playing house with him.

 

What a colossal douchebag.:mad:

Posted
it means you should move into the shed in the backyard

 

in all fairness it's a really nice shed.

 

I think your BF is confused, talking to him about what exactly you both want is the best thing you can do.

Posted

Haha.... I don't think it means "I like you... but not that much"

 

It means "You're worth the commitment... but let me have fun for a litttttle bit longer"

 

Leave some items. Nothing too personal though.

Posted

Sounds like he almost wants a trial run. Like you'd be basically living with him, but not officially. I can understand how moving in could make him nervous - it's a big step and one that has the potential to end a relationship (not saying that it will, but it's tough to live with *anyone*). I wouldn't take it so personally.

Posted
Haha.... I don't think it means "I like you... but not that much"

 

It means "You're worth the commitment... but let me have fun for a litttttle bit longer"

 

Leave some items. Nothing too personal though.

 

This makes great sense to me, he wants to be committed to you but also enjoys being on his own for a little bit longer, let him have his fun and don't get mad at him quite yet.

Posted

I think it means I should be at his house every single day/night, but not move any of my things in, and continue to pay rent/utilities at my place, while playing house with him.

 

What a colossal douchebag.:mad:

yea you should just jettison this buffoon :lmao:

Posted
it means you should move into the shed in the backyard

 

Yup. Just make sure there's an outhouse OP, you can't be going to the bathroom in a shed.

  • Author
Posted

No one else sees an issue with "you should move in, but not really"?

 

That would be an inconvenience to me, while he gets everything he wants from me, while giving me zero commitment.

Posted
it means you should move into the shed in the backyard

 

He's already got the menstrual hut?

Sweet!

 

seriously though.

He sounds like he's getting too much pressure from friends & family over a very important decision HE needs to make on his own.

Posted
No one else sees an issue with "you should move in, but not really"?

 

That would be an inconvenience to me, while he gets everything he wants from me, while giving me zero commitment.

 

He certainly lacks a little tact and eloquence, how old are you two?

  • Author
Posted
He certainly lacks a little tact and eloquence, how old are you two?

 

He's in his mid-30s. I'm in my mid-20s.

Posted

A few weeks ago my BF pretty much asked me to move in with him this summer.

 

Did he or did he not come right out and ask you to move in? If he did and isn't going to follow through, maybe the squirrel should be looking somewhere else for nuts.

Posted
He's in his mid-30s. I'm in my mid-20s.

 

Sounds like he just wants to have a boyz playground for a few more months or what not, you can press the issue with him and see what he says, or you can wait it out. But despite his complete utter lack of communication skills in the way he said it, it would seem that he wants to commit but wants to have one more boyz summer XD

Posted
No one else sees an issue with "you should move in, but not really"?

 

That would be an inconvenience to me, while he gets everything he wants from me, while giving me zero commitment.

 

I see your issue with it. It means, "I want you nearby so you are available to me sexually, but I don't want you to think that means I have to commit to you." Douchebag, pure and simple.

  • Author
Posted
A few weeks ago my BF pretty much asked me to move in with him this summer.

 

Did he or did he not come right out and ask you to move in? If he did and isn't going to follow through, maybe the squirrel should be looking somewhere else for nuts.

 

He asked me to move in with him, and I had an inkling he didn't mean it, so I said I would love that, but we should talk about it again in more depth at some point between then and this summer.

Posted
No one else sees an issue with "you should move in, but not really"?

 

That would be an inconvenience to me, while he gets everything he wants from me, while giving me zero commitment.

moving in together is probably not a good idea if you're looking to marry him down the road. i think you should maintain your own residence

  • Author
Posted
Sounds like he just wants to have a boyz playground for a few more months or what not, you can press the issue with him and see what he says, or you can wait it out. But despite his complete utter lack of communication skills in the way he said it, it would seem that he wants to commit but wants to have one more boyz summer XD

 

What makes you think he wants to commit, but just have one more summer to himself? I completely read this situation as him being selfish and wanting his cake and eating it too.

 

He wants me to be at his house every single morning before work/day after work, and sleep there every single night, but not move any of my things in, and pay my own rent/utilities to keep my own place.

 

In other words, he wants me to "live with him" in every sense of the word, except me actually being able to move things in and not live out of a bag...and of course not give up my own place.

 

Sounds to me like he wants all the comfort of having a wife/live-in GF while giving absolutely no commitment.

  • Author
Posted

How do you know if/when someone just isn't ready yet, versus someone who will never commit to you?

Posted
How do you know if/when someone just isn't ready yet, versus someone who will never commit to you?

its very hard to differentiate SS but time tells all :)

Posted

After reading your other thread it is clear that you have reservations about moving in with him right now anyway. You said that you wanted a ring or a proposal to follow cohabitation and he thinks that you should live together for awhile before becoming engaged. Are you setting your own personal beliefs to the side just to make him happy?

 

He is in his mid 30's and he doesn't sound like he is even serious about you moving in with him. I would stick to my guns, no ring/proposal = no playing house!

Posted

Unfortunately, no one here knows what's going on in your bf's head.

 

But from an outside perspective it sounds squirrely.

 

Sorry, I couldn't help the pun.

Posted
moving in together is probably not a good idea if you're looking to marry him down the road. i think you should maintain your own residence

 

 

There is truth in this. Statistically, couples who live together are most likely NOT going to hear wedding bells.

Posted

Regardless of his motivations for wanting you there, living out of a suitcase when you have a perfectly acceptable alternate residence sucks. I personally wouldn't do it. Spend a few nights at your place and a few nights at his place and assess moving in together again in the future when he's ready.

 

My boyfriend brought up moving in, but it was in all the way, as in combining all our stuff moving in. We are going to sit down and have an earnest talk in May. There is none of this, "sort of" move in crap.

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