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Friends with Dates That Didn't Work Out Early On...?


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Posted

Do you try to maintain a friendship with a person you dated for a few weeks that just didn't work out? Or do you remove them from your life completely?

 

I met a girl about a month ago through some friends of friends and we started dating for about 3 weeks. Last weekend, we had a talk and both decided that it probably wasn't going to work out. She's a great person and I wouldn't mind having her as a friend, but I left it as though we'd both completely move on and never talk or speak again. It doesn't really bother me either way...as an emotional attachment never developed...

 

But I just wanted to get your thoughts on this...would you try to maintain a friendship with someone where things ended mutually early on...?

Posted

Nah I have enough friends.

  • Author
Posted
Nah I have enough friends.

 

 

That is EXACTLY what I told her...:o

Posted

i like to stay friends. She has other girlfriends that she can introduce me to, and it expands my network.

Posted

I'm sure it's different for everybody, and I'd probably make exceptions for certain women (like those women into hiking, which none of my friends are into, so I might make a 'hiking trip' friend). But for the most part I don't need 20+ friends, just a handful.

Posted
i like to stay friends. She has other girlfriends that she can introduce me to, and it expands my network.

 

Why would a girl introduce you to her other friends if she didn't think you were good enough for her to date? I don't think there's any purpose in becoming friends with her.

Posted
...would you try to maintain a friendship with someone where things ended mutually early on...?

no i would not....accepting to be "friendzoned" shows weakness and lack of confidence

Posted

It would depend on how much choice I'd had in the ending of the romantic relationship and how hurt I felt. I suspect if it was my choice not to continue with the romance, I'd be OK about just being friends. The other way round, I'm not so sure.

Posted
Why would a girl introduce you to her other friends if she didn't think you were good enough for her to date? I don't think there's any purpose in becoming friends with her.

 

What if she was not good for me? which is most of the case. You are thinking wrong like that. The man chose the women. Not the other way around. As long as your honest and give some time off between each other, then its cool to be friends and expend your network.

Posted
The man chose the women. Not the other way around.

actually its the women who choose the man

Posted
actually its the women who choose the man

 

This is definitely true.

 

Men may choose who to pursue but ultimately women get last say.

Posted
no i would not....accepting to be "friendzoned" shows weakness and lack of confidence

 

That doesn't make any sense if they both mutually ended it.

Posted
That doesn't make any sense if they both mutually ended it.

whats the point in staying "friends" with someone you did not hit it of romantically with? its a waste of time and energy which you could be using to find someone else who may be interested romantically.

Posted
whats the point in staying "friends" with someone you did not hit it of romantically with? its a waste of time and energy which you could be using to find someone else who may be interested romantically.

 

Why not? You're not putting the effort into being friends that you are into having a romantic relationship with someone else.

 

They may be a compatible friend, but not a compatible mate.

Posted
They may be a compatible friend, but not a compatible mate.

generally you don't have sexual relations with a compatible friend

 

its all about the sex, man

Posted
generally you don't have sexual relations with a compatible friend

 

its all about the sex, man

 

Nah, I've had girls as friends that I never had sex with. Sometimes it works better actually.

Posted
Nah, I've had girls as friends that I never had sex with. Sometimes it works better actually.

:rolleyes::rolleyes:

Posted
:rolleyes::rolleyes:

 

I'm serious.

Posted

I seriously have enough friends. I have no use for adding on people when my intentions are to either have sex or form a romantic relationship.

Posted

You'll never really be "friends" if you've slept together. Plus, try explaining the "she's-my-"friend"-that-I-used-to-sleep-with" to your next girlfriend.

 

There's no need to be enemies or hate each other. It's definitely good to end things civilly and if you run into her on the street, wave and smile. But that has to be the limit of your "friendship".

  • Author
Posted
You'll never really be "friends" if you've slept together. Plus, try explaining the "she's-my-"friend"-that-I-used-to-sleep-with" to your next girlfriend.

 

There's no need to be enemies or hate each other. It's definitely good to end things civilly and if you run into her on the street, wave and smile. But that has to be the limit of your "friendship".

 

 

I never slept with her. Would that affect your position?

Posted
I never slept with her. Would that affect your position?

Yes, but not much. Obviously there was some attraction. I think we basically make a choice as soon as we date someone: we give up the possibility of 'friendship' for the chance that it will turn into a romance. I have many female friends but they are all safely married or safely homely.

 

I would say to give it a year or two. If you still want to be friends then, maybe you can do it.

Posted

My sister has rules regarding this situation. There's the obvious no friends with exes. If she goes on ONE date with a guy and it doesn't work out, she won't be friends with him after that. Even if she turns down a date, she won't bother being friends with that guy. It just makes things easier.

Posted
I never slept with her. Would that affect your position?

 

If she was hot & I wanted her & we didn't have sex I couldn't be friends with her at all because i'll ALWAYS be wanting to know what it would be like to tap it.

Posted
Do you try to maintain a friendship with a person you dated for a few weeks that just didn't work out? Or do you remove them from your life completely?

 

I met a girl about a month ago through some friends of friends and we started dating for about 3 weeks. Last weekend, we had a talk and both decided that it probably wasn't going to work out. She's a great person and I wouldn't mind having her as a friend, but I left it as though we'd both completely move on and never talk or speak again. It doesn't really bother me either way...as an emotional attachment never developed...

 

But I just wanted to get your thoughts on this...would you try to maintain a friendship with someone where things ended mutually early on...?

 

I had just started dating someone very casually when I met my now-husband; he and I had communicated back and forth a fair amount but only gone out three times, no sex, just a few kisses. I was up-front with them both about the situation, and very shortly after I told the guy that I was going to concentrate my energies on my now-husband. He said he was disappointed but he appreciated my being totally honest from the start. We are still friends, talk/IM a few times a month, get together now and then for a drink. I have met a couple of his girlfriends since then and we invited him to spend part of Christmas with us last year.

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