silic0ntoad Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 The reality is that porn has had a general impact on society where it's become more acceptable. More men are spending more time looking at more porn and often that porn now is more hardcore. You don't start viewing something at 11, a few it well into adulthood without it affecting your views o nsome level. Do I think that means you beat women? Of course not. It doesn't need to be that extreme. I do think porn has changed men perception of women, their bodies and sex and women's sexuality. My point is that when you are in a relationship it's not just about you anymore. And sexi s a part of a relationship, it's an important subject to talk about. I never said that woman should dictate what makes a man happy. What I did say is that if a woman is meeting his needs most of the time I don't think it's so much to expect him to curb the times she can't out of love for the relationship. What warrents me being a misandrist? The fact thatI don't like porn? How come I am considered a misandrist because I am vocal about my dislike for porn, something YOU admitted is degrading to women but you love women even though you enjoy porn. What kind of logic is that? Does not liking porn make me a misandrist? Does that men that what defines porn defines men? Not liking porn doesn't make me a misandrist unless you think porn = men. LOL okay. I will remember that next time I go to a bar or lounge and the guys all eye the same 5'10 blond with the huge rack. Or when I hear a group of guys go gaga over the college cheerleaders during college football season. right. Yeah. Men don't judge women harshly at all. How is viewing something attractive being judgemental? I am confused. I don't understand how twisted that logic is. Seriously. Let's see. Helen of Troy? Didn't men ogle her farr before the advent of pornography? Or, what about Lady Isolde, or Guenivere? Your logic is outdated and ridiculous. Men have always looked at the most beautiful and physically appealing woman and said "She is hot." Porn hasn't changed that. Not one bit. I say I love women, because I do. I can't watch porn as a carnal enactment of fantasy, and love women? That makes no sense JS. In fact, if I didn't love women, love sex with women, and love being around women, wouldn't that make me....gay? Sure, some porn degrades women. But, as you've failed to agree on, some porn also degrades white males, or degrades asian males. You didn't say anything about that subsect of porn. Whatever. You have the same points to make in every argument and it's all ridiculous. You've shown ZERO empyrical data on how porn has affected men through the years to back your claims. I've shown proof that more and more women withhold sex. I label you a misandrist because your statements are laced with venom. It's a deep seated bitterness you have, not towards porn, but guys, because you equate pornography to cheating. You think a man should not be able to have a functioning sex life (Or what YOU deem to be functioning) and watch pornography. You downplay the significance of male sexuality at the expense of sexual release, and you try to enforce the female position on pornography, basically saying that if a guy is getting laid he shouldn't watch porn and it is in the woman's power to say: "You aren't having both. Take the sex I give you and stop watching porn, or take nothing at all and keep watching porn."
Lilo Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 what if the guy watches porna nd masterbates, but has also cheated on you then what should you think abou this "habbit" of porn and masterbating? My man says oh i do it to go to sleep or bc i was sleeping and he didnt wanna wake me!
silic0ntoad Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 what if the guy watches porna nd masterbates, but has also cheated on you then what should you think abou this "habbit" of porn and masterbating? My man says oh i do it to go to sleep or bc i was sleeping and he didnt wanna wake me! A man who cheats watches porn. A man who doesn't cheat watches porn. A man who says he doesn't watch porn is a liar. Just because he watches porn doesn't mean it will make him cheat on you. He would have, porn or no porn.
Lilo Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 A man who cheats watches porn. A man who doesn't cheat watches porn. A man who says he doesn't watch porn is a liar. Just because he watches porn doesn't mean it will make him cheat on you. He would have, porn or no porn. The fact that you say "a man who says he doesnt watch porn is a liar" very true, just be honest we as women have to get over the fact that porn is a part of society, and all me seem to like it. I have also seen many statments where people (men and women) will say "oh the man who watches porn is not going to cheat! thats what porn is for." Which i know is all bull
soserious1 Posted April 22, 2010 Posted April 22, 2010 I label you a misandrist because your statements are laced with venom. It's a deep seated bitterness you have, not towards porn, but guys, because you equate pornography to cheating. You think a man should not be able to have a functioning sex life (Or what YOU deem to be functioning) and watch pornography. You downplay the significance of male sexuality at the expense of sexual release, and you try to enforce the female position on pornography, basically saying that if a guy is getting laid he shouldn't watch porn and it is in the woman's power to say: "You aren't having both. Take the sex I give you and stop watching porn, or take nothing at all and keep watching porn." Ok.. and what I hear men saying is this "give me sex, hot and on the half shell whenever and however I want it,but be prepared to sit there receiving nothing on days that I prefer to rub one out to porn & be grateful I bother to lower myself to screw you at all. As far as I'm concerned, I'm a middle aged woman, I cannot compete with 20 yr olds be they pro or amateur. Any guy who makes a steady diet of viewing such women isn't going to be physically aroused enough by me to get and keep an erection thru to orgasm. I'm also not really into the whole business of slobbering gratitude all over a guy because he lowers himself enough to have sex with me instead of finishing himself off in front of his computer. You get to a place really in life where you no longer care where your man gets his sexual appetite or even whom he seeks out to sate that appetite. You wanna beat off to porn? great, just don't download it on my computer.. you find 20 yr olds make your wick the stiffest? great just don't ogle them so blatantly in my company that people stare. You find my aging face/body to be a sexual turnoff? great.. so do I but there's not much I can do about it, get your needs met by any woman who will have you but don't use it as a club to beat me with emotionally to punish me for getting old.
Jersey Shortie Posted April 23, 2010 Posted April 23, 2010 How is viewing something attractive being judgemental? I am confused. I don't understand how twisted that logic is. Seriously. Let's see. Helen of Troy? Didn't men ogle her farr before the advent of pornography? Or, what about Lady Isolde, or Guenivere? The point isn't that men find women attractive. It's that sometimes men don't practice self control and justify negative sexual behavior under the guise "well I am the man". And that you expect women to raise above the stereotypes in certain media that YOU yourself buy into by getting off to it. I say I love women, because I do. I can't watch porn as a carnal enactment of fantasy, and love women? That makes no sense JS. It's much more complex then that and I never said anything so ridiculous as men can't love a woman and look at porn. Women don't only need "love" in a relationship. Just like men don't only need "love" in relationship. There are many other factors that go into a relationship and love doens't conquer all. Sure, some porn degrades women. But, as you've failed to agree on, some porn also degrades white males, or degrades asian males. You didn't say anything about that subsect of porn. As I said a million times, women are the ones that take the brunt of the degradation in pornography. What does that say about men and what does that say about how men think and feel about women? I label you a misandrist because your statements are laced with venom. It's a deep seated bitterness you have, not towards porn, but guys, because you equate pornography to cheating. Never denied I didn't have bitterness towards this topic. But don't throw around words that misrepersent me or try to "shame" me out of my opinion. You think a man should not be able to have a functioning sex life (Or what YOU deem to be functioning) and watch pornography. You downplay the significance of male sexuality at the expense of sexual release... I think that IF a man has a happy fuctioning sex life and an engage partner, I don't see why he would need porn on top of that. It's plain greed and gluttony and today's men are VERY gluttenous when it comes to porn. Men are spending more time looking at more porn, more hten ever. By the way it's YOU that dowplays the significance of female sexuality and emotions aat the expense of what a man needs first. "You aren't having both. Take the sex I give you and stop watching porn, or take nothing at all and keep watching porn." What's so wrong with that? Why should i have sex with a guy that is seeking out other women indirectly? Here is the part of that sentence you got wrong. In my relationship I would make more of an effort to give him more sex and not deny him regularly and he in turn should make more of an effort not to run off and seek sexual release everytime he feels it and I'm not around. Self control.
soserious1 Posted April 24, 2010 Posted April 24, 2010 Really? Literally, or are you making a joke? How many men have you actually heard say this? If you're currently in a relationship with a man who has said that to you, and you don't find his attitude acceptable, then either deal with it, or get out of the relationship. If you're not in a relationship with that particular man, then of course, it's probably none of your business what that man and his SO decide what is consensually acceptable within the boundaries of their private relationship with each other. I suspect--based on your bitterness--that you can't possibly be in a satisfactory relationship with a man right now, and probably have a history of bad relationships with men. You can blame that on porn if you want, if it makes you feel better. I'm not sure that blaming porn for her relationship problems gets a woman anywhere though. Thank you for an honest statement. This is the real issue that I believe is eating at Jersie Shortie, and others. It has nothing to do with porn per se. She apparently feels, as you feel, physically unattractive in comparison to the imagined female "competition." Porn just reminds her, and you, of your evident feelings of inadequacy. The problem is if you, Jersey Shortie, and other women are going to rage against porn because it contains unrealistic depictions of female sexuality, then you have to equally rage against all other societal unrealistic depictions of "idealized" females --fashion magazines, Victoria's Secret, Maxim, etc etc etc etc. It is not porn that causes so many young women to develop body dysmorphia and eating disorders. "Any guy"? You need to focus on "your" guy. If your guy (if you have one) isn't performing to your sexual satisfaction then don't paste a label on the entire male gender. Also, if you're not physically arousing to "your" guy, then don't blame that on the porn. Perhaps if you did a better job of taking care of your appearance "your" guy would leave the porn in the bottom of the underwear draw, or wherever he tries to hide it from you. O.K. It's pretty clear that you're not in a steady committed relationship. You keep talking about "a guy" in the abstract rather than talking about "your" own guy. All you need to really worry about is "one" guy. Your guy. Stop projecting whatever personal problems you might have in getting and/or keeping a man upon the entire male gender. It won't do you any good and it won't solve your relationship issues. It's pointless. Yes and most likely your lack of caring about your man's sexual needs is more than apparent to your man. Don't blame your sexual or relationship problems on "getting old." That's a total cop out. Your resentment towards men and towards yourself is palpable. You are free to feel that way, but the kind of bitterness you are expressing is simply not going to help you have a happy relationship. I am a reasonably slim, toned middle aged woman, I dress and groom with care in a manner that befits a woman of a certain age. However,I cannot compete with the physical charms of a 22 yr old, that fact has nothing to do with "bitterness" and everything to do with the reality that a visually oriented man is going to find a younger woman, even an average looking younger woman a lot more sexually enticing than he will a 50 yr old, no matter how well kept that 50 yr old is. My Ex was wired to find youthful beauty to be exciting, the more young women he ogled, the more porn he viewed, the more disatisfied he became with my appearance. Even if I'd been able to afford a facelift, botox, I still wouldn't resemble the smooth skinned, tight bodied young hotties he desired and felt he deserved. After a couple of years of being turned down for sex, after hearing about how he wanted to bang this one or that one after countless evenings sitting in restaurants, conversations totally ceased because he was rubber necking some gal 2 tables over, I rapidly lost interest in what he looked at or whom he chose to sleep with because it was quite clear he wasn't sexually interested in me. At that point in time, not caring what he did or with whom seemed to be the best option. LOL, in short I no longer care what men watch, whom they desire sexually or whom they bed as long as they aren't rubbing my nose in it or using it to club me with emotionally.
RobM Posted April 24, 2010 Posted April 24, 2010 I know a lot of the women belive that porn is causing the problems but I've been married a long time and have kept very detailed and careful notes. I've used said notes to logically prove and graph that in fact porn did not cause the problems, it didn't exactly solve the problems but it did reduce the conflirt caused by the problems. Marital Objective Coital Karma Joint Study | | H-H | \ | H-H-H-H-H-H | \ | H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H-H | \ | S-S H | \ (b)W \ | S |S H | W-W \ W| \ | \ S |S H | W \ (a) W| \ | \ S p |S H | W | |\ W| \ W-W-W-W-W | | S P P |S H /S-S-S-S-S | W | | | W| WP | | S P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P P |S /S H| | W \ F-F/ \ W| W/ p(c) | \ S/ P F P |S /S |H | W F S/S-S\S-S-S-S-S-S-S-S \ W| W/ P \H-H-H- | / WP F-F-F-F-F-F S P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P F-F-F-F |F-F-F-F-F / \ W-W-W-W-W-W-W-\W-W-W-W-W-W S / P-P-P-P |P-P-P-P-P-P F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F-F +--------------------------------------------------------------- 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 1 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 2 3 years of 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 0 marriage |----- the kid years ---------------| H - husband libedo W - wife libedo S - amount of sex F - amount of fighting about sex (or lack of) P - amount of porn watching Notes - S most closely follows W and not H as H and W diverge F increases as F increases P then increases until it reaches a point where F decreases eventually H decreases and W increases until they cross, then suddenly P decreases and F slightly increases the system is mostly stable with a few events caused by outside influences event (a) - we will call this the DCL point, new technology is introduced which makes P easier to obtain and more high quality which causes a slight yet temporary P increase event (b) - we will call this the OW event, W mistakenly belives that H has his eyes on an OW which causes a huge immediately increases in W and S, until OW is removed from equation and things just as fast return to normal (W and S drop like a lead weight) event © - we will call this the JS event, an outside force we'll refer to as JS bombards H with crap about the negatives effects of P which causes a short (no pun intended) increase in P, many theories are advanced but the most logical is the na na na na na effect, in other words tell H not to do P and it instead causes more P out of spite. (god I hope this shows up ok, it took forever to format correctly in text)
dreamingoftigers Posted April 24, 2010 Posted April 24, 2010 So your libido took a drive after your wife's sex drive temporarily increased?
dreamingoftigers Posted April 24, 2010 Posted April 24, 2010 Really? Literally, or are you making a joke? How many men have you actually heard say this? If you're currently in a relationship with a man who has said that to you, and you don't find his attitude acceptable, then either deal with it, or get out of the relationship. If you're not in a relationship with that particular man, then of course, it's probably none of your business what that man and his SO decide what is consensually acceptable within the boundaries of their private relationship with each other. I suspect--based on your bitterness--that you can't possibly be in a satisfactory relationship with a man right now, and probably have a history of bad relationships with men. You can blame that on porn if you want, if it makes you feel better. I'm not sure that blaming porn for her relationship problems gets a woman anywhere though. Thank you for an honest statement. This is the real issue that I believe is eating at Jersie Shortie, and others. It has nothing to do with porn per se. She apparently feels, as you feel, physically unattractive in comparison to the imagined female "competition." Porn just reminds her, and you, of your evident feelings of inadequacy. The problem is if you, Jersey Shortie, and other women are going to rage against porn because it contains unrealistic depictions of female sexuality, then you have to equally rage against all other societal unrealistic depictions of "idealized" females --fashion magazines, Victoria's Secret, Maxim, etc etc etc etc. It is not porn that causes so many young women to develop body dysmorphia and eating disorders. "Any guy"? You need to focus on "your" guy. If your guy (if you have one) isn't performing to your sexual satisfaction then don't paste a label on the entire male gender. Also, if you're not physically arousing to "your" guy, then don't blame that on the porn. Perhaps if you did a better job of taking care of your appearance "your" guy would leave the porn in the bottom of the underwear draw, or wherever he tries to hide it from you. O.K. It's pretty clear that you're not in a steady committed relationship. You keep talking about "a guy" in the abstract rather than talking about "your" own guy. All you need to really worry about is "one" guy. Your guy. Stop projecting whatever personal problems you might have in getting and/or keeping a man upon the entire male gender. It won't do you any good and it won't solve your relationship issues. It's pointless. Yes and most likely your lack of caring about your man's sexual needs is more than apparent to your man. Don't blame your sexual or relationship problems on "getting old." That's a total cop out. Your resentment towards men and towards yourself is palpable. You are free to feel that way, but the kind of bitterness you are expressing is simply not going to help you have a happy relationship. I am 27 years old, this attitude of "give me all of the sex I want and be the hottest girl or F off." Is more and more common. I do believe it is because of the accessibility of porn. Men don't need to date anymore, they can just flip on a computer and see what they used to enter into relationships to get. Porn has distilled the most arousing images and left regular girls like me with very little to work with. I would say that there simply aren't enough committed men to go around anymore. It is very sad and I worry for my daughter growing up in a society where the men have this entitled attitude. I would gladly do just about anything to satisfy my partner's sexual needs. Porn has raised his standard beyond anything I as a real person can provide.
Author ComeUndone Posted April 24, 2010 Author Posted April 24, 2010 I am 27 years old, this attitude of "give me all of the sex I want and be the hottest girl or F off." Is more and more common. I do believe it is because of the accessibility of porn. Men don't need to date anymore, they can just flip on a computer and see what they used to enter into relationships to get. Porn has distilled the most arousing images and left regular girls like me with very little to work with. I would say that there simply aren't enough committed men to go around anymore. It is very sad and I worry for my daughter growing up in a society where the men have this entitled attitude. I would gladly do just about anything to satisfy my partner's sexual needs. Porn has raised his standard beyond anything I as a real person can provide. This is very sad. I know there are some men out there without much interest in porn (although few IMO), and I know there are some who do like porn who only use it as a substitute when the real thing isn't available, but knowing this industry is so enormous and has such a grip over the majority of adult men (and plenty of minors as well) is very scary. I inderstand masturbating is normal and men have been doing so since they've graced the earth, but to have the type of porn of today's world as material, ready at the click of a button at the first twinge of hornyness is just... unnatural. I know I'm going to get a lot of grief for saying that, but it's true. When mankind came into existence, we had our sexuality but we did NOT have the porn of today's world. It may be human nature for men to want to see it, because that's biology, but it's unnatural to resort to turning to it routinely the way men do now.
RobM Posted April 24, 2010 Posted April 24, 2010 So your libido took a drive after your wife's sex drive temporarily increased? As I got older my slower decreased, once the kids were gone hers slowly increased.
AD1980 Posted April 24, 2010 Posted April 24, 2010 I cant get it from women so how else am i supposed to get off?
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