dede1111 Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Ok.. So I met this guy through a mutual friend on St. Patrick's day and I ended up leaving early to go home. He indicated to our friend that he would have really liked to spend time with me and he got my number. I talked to him briefly but nothing ever came of it. Since then we have hung out multiple times over the last two weeks and I usually end up staying at his place. And although he invites me to stay and we have great conversations (and other things...) I can't read this guy. I refuse to call him unless he calls me.. I feel like he is playing this whole "hard to get" thing and I just can't understand it. I don't want to look like some desperate dummy that can't get enough but I would love to know what is going on in his head. Obviously there is something there.. I just don't know what it is. This guy is incredibly good looking and he could have whatever he wanted so thats another reason why I won't call him. If he really wanted to get together or take it further he will eventually call me right? I don't know. Help me understand... Thanks!
boogieboy Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 He's playing the same game you are. "If shes really interested she would call ME". One of you has to take the chance.
Rorschach Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Call him. Guys love to be called. makes em feel wanted.
Agent Thomas Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Yeah I like when I get calls. Nowadays it's always just texts from girls. Which is quite impersonal in my opinion. Text messages will be the death of more relationships than anything else.
ReadyforLove Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Do men really play "hard to get"? Personally, I think women play all the games. If you like him and you want to talk to him try calling him first and then throw the ball in his court. If he is interested he will pursue you.
Agent Thomas Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Do men really play "hard to get"? Personally, I think women play all the games. Do you also think all mexican people are illegal immigrants? Men play games too, they're just as "screwed up". Trust me, the sexes are equal in America. Equally bad.
Rorschach Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Do men really play "hard to get"? Personally, I think women play all the games. If you like him and you want to talk to him try calling him first and then throw the ball in his court. If he is interested he will pursue you. I was younger at the time, so I can't say whether or not i'd do it again (though I think I probably would) but there have been times when I flat out refused to talk to my gf (we were just getting to know each other at the time, this was day 3 of meeting) unless eh IM'd me first. Mostly because I didn't know whether she was really interested in me or if I was just some guy she talked to because I messaged her first. But when she messaged me within half an hour of her getting online then we talked for four hours, I didn't have to play the game anymore because I knew. So yeah, guys can play games, though I'll say as far as my own games go thats about it, I like to feel like you want to talk to me just as much as I want to talk to you, so sometimes I'll wait for you to initiate as a way of finding out if you really are interested.
ReadyforLove Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Hey, I'm a woman and I know for a fact the kind of games women play! But if you are seriously interested in someone it will show.
USMCHokie Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 True interest from a mature individual = no games required. Anyone who feels that they need to play games isn't worth the time or effort, as they truly aren't interested. Or aren't worth dating.
deux ex machina Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 You've already spent time together so if you want to call, then do it. See if he calls back. If he's not reciprocating in kind, that'll speak volumes of its own. No guesswork needed. If he's truly interested, you won't have to live in mystery for long.
phineas Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 what does (and other things...) mean exactly? Are you sleeping with him & want a relationship? If so, he isn't playing hard to get, he is just playing.
Rorschach Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 what does mean exactly? Are you sleeping with him & want a relationship? If so, he isn't playing hard to get, he is just playing. I missed that part, I agree with this, sleeping with men makes a huge difference in the dynamics of a relationship.
Bartender Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Are you sleeping with him & want a relationship? If so, he isn't playing hard to get, he is just playing. This................. unfortunately if you're already sleeping with him you're way behind the 8 ball when it comes to a relationship.............if this is the case you need to back off and wait for him to pursue you (even play hard to get) as there's a good chance he's already lost a bit of respect for you due to sleeping with you so soon......it's unfortunate but that's how guys are.
EasyHeart Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 I agree. If you've had sex with him and he's not calling, that means he's not interested. Unless he wants some more sex, in which case he will give you a call. I don't think men generally "play" hard to get; they are either (a) actually hard to get or (b) not interested.
spiderowl Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 (edited) He's probably not deliberately 'playing hard to get' but he may well be used to having options and not having to work for them. This would account for his laid-back, let-you-do-all-the-work behaviour. I'd suggest you call him occasionally, especially if he's called you, and reward the behaviour you like from him. If he leaves it for a while, then go and do your own thing. I wouldn't recommend going round to his place and doing whatever he enjoys round there, at least not on a regular basis. If you are doing that, then what 'work' is he doing for you exactly? You are too easy for him. I don't think men appreciate women they don't have to put in some effort for. You can encourage him to call you by being pleased when he calls, by not calling him quite so much if he doesn't. I think you need to make him realise you have options too and that you won't sit around and wait for him or come to visit him when he clicks his fingers. If he's really that good-looking and used to being spoilt by women, you're going to have to teach him how to treat you with respect and consideration. Don't give so much until you know you are receiving something worth having in terms of energy and commitment from him. Edited April 14, 2010 by spiderowl
Author dede1111 Posted April 15, 2010 Author Posted April 15, 2010 Thanks everyone for the comments.. I really appreciate your help!
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